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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about my clothes....

50 replies

Crowdblundering · 12/05/2017 17:32

I might BU here am not sure..NOT a third world issue but irritates me.

I am messy in the bedroom but tidy in the rest of the house. We have 3 kids living here who also have messy rooms but I am of the thinking your space it's up to you.

The "communal areas" are always clean and tidy, I work full time and do all the cooking but we split the household stuff fairly evenly.

OH is only here on weekends and is in military (relevant).

Our bedroom isn't horrendous and is clean but when I take off my clothes I put the dirty ones in the wash (I do most of washing as OH does his on base mainly) and tend to dump the clean ones in a pile by my side of the bed (in no ones way) which OH nags about (his bag will sit in the middle of the room all weekend unpacked).

Despite me asking him numerous times not to OH keeps going through the pile of "clean" clothes and smelling each item (which is really fucking odd - obvs no underwear ) and then washing everything he deems smelling unclean (IE of my perfume) in the wash.

Today have come home to the jeans I was going to wear on a day out tomorrow hanging out sopping wet which is really fucking annoying - and also clothes that were clean waiting to be put away have been washed again - and I have certain items that need washing a certain way, shouldn't be over washed or need treating with stain remover.

I am in my 40s shouldn't I be allowed a) a small area where I can be messy and b)to want to be in charge of when my own clothes are being washed?

AIBU?!

OP posts:

Frouby · 12/05/2017 18:51

Clothes live in wardrobes or drawers not on the floor. Clean but worn clothes live on a hook on a over hook thing on the top of the door.

Clean and unworn clothes live in a seperate putting away pile to worn but I will wear again clothes.

And sniff and shake is a valid separation technique to split the two.

Original poster

Crowdblundering · 12/05/2017 18:53

The hook doesn't sound like it would hold a lot Frouby

OP posts:

Mermaidinthesea123 · 12/05/2017 18:57

I'm amazed a man would bother to investigate and wash your clothes. My ex husbands/boyfriends would no more have washed or picked up any of my clothes than they would fly to the moon on broomsticks.

Grimbles · 12/05/2017 19:00

I've got a floordrobe, but that's mainly because the actual wardrobe is full of dh's stuff. There's about a million shirts and t-shirts that never get worn but he is keeping just in case

Cakedoesntjudge · 12/05/2017 19:01

I think this is a very divisive topic from conversations I've had over the years 😂

I am a messy person and shite at housework. Laundry is by far my biggest downfall BUT I know exactly which piles are which and it does my head in if someone tries to move anything. But equally I know people who just would not be able to leave it alone. I don't think either type of person is wrong, it's just one of the ways people are different.

I realise this doesn't help in the slightest and I don't have a solution but just wanted to say I feel your pain

Original poster

Crowdblundering · 12/05/2017 19:03

In my defence - the first night I ever invited him in I made him wait downstairs for 15 mins while I ran upstairs and shoved all the clothes in the wardrobe.

I stated then that I was incapable of change

OP posts:

Doobigetta · 12/05/2017 19:09

We have a stand thing each that we use for worn but not in need of washing clothes. They're actually ikea towel rails. Can't you do something like that? It would annoy me if there was a permanent pile on the floor, and I don't think I'm particularly obsessive about tidying.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 12/05/2017 19:14

I hang cleanish clothes back on hangers and hook onto overdoor hooks or put them back in my wardrobe. surely if you pile them on the floor then they are unwearable without ironing?

eletralambchop · 12/05/2017 19:17

I am afraid I don't have any good advice in this matter.

My husband is very impolite he leaves his clothes always on the floor even if he has a basket by his side. His mother was a slave for the family (cleaning, cooking and picking clothes from the floor).

I'm following this thread maybe someone will have a great idea

KallyBox · 12/05/2017 19:21

I'm like your DH. My DH has a floordrobe and it drives me bonkers.

The compromise is that it's directly next to his side of the bed in the corner, so if I'm in bed, I can't see it.

His is a mixture of clean and dirty though (boak) and I occasionally am SUPER helpful and put it all away for him so I can hoover. That includes putting his dirty washing back in the drawers because Im not doing the sniff test!

Touchmybum · 12/05/2017 19:31

I would tell him, if he ever so much as touches any of your clothes again, you will cut his balls off and feed them to the ducks!

Redredredrose · 12/05/2017 19:33

We have a chair each for 'worn but can be worn again' clothes. I couldn't wear something again if it had been on the floor. Clean clothes are in the ironing pile on the table in the laundry room (not that I ever iron, DP does his own ironing and I just select things from my pile).

I'd recommend getting a box or chair or rack or something for the clothes you want to wear again. It would drive me mad to have a pile of worn and clean clothes on the bedroom floor.

On another note:

Can't you just get a cleaner? Working full time with kids and still need to do household stuff? Surreal

Seriously, what kind of bubble do you live in that you think everyone who works full time and has kids has a cleaner? Talk about head in the clouds.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 12/05/2017 19:33

My bedroom is soo messy! I don't have a floordrobe as such, I have a pile at the end of my bed on the ottoman where clean clothes get dumped (usually after being tried on in the morning and decided against) that can be there for ages until the clothes start encroaching on my bedspace and I put them all away

The rest of the house? Fine, clear, spacious. My bedroom is like Monica's cupboard YANBU

Original poster

Crowdblundering · 12/05/2017 19:40

I don't buy any clothes that need ironing

OH does all the ironing about twice a year I will ask him to iron an item of mine - he irons everything he wears

OP posts:

AnnieAnoniMouse · 12/05/2017 19:47

Your OH sounds a bit odd, sniffing your clothes and messing with your stuff when he knows you don't like it. I'd tell him to stop, now, or he will find himself single. And I'd mean it.

However, I couldn't live with an adult with a floordrobe. I'd tell them to grow up or move out (or move out myself). It's just ridiculous to pile your clothes on the floor like that. Find a better way of organising your worn clothes so your OH doesn't feel like he's living with a scruffy teenager.

Original poster

Crowdblundering · 12/05/2017 19:49

He's only living here on the weekends

OP posts:

hippadoppaloppagorillapig · 12/05/2017 19:59

My DH used to do what you do. It drove me potty. There's no category between clean & dirty. Clothes that are clean or worn once and can be worn again go back in the wardrobe or drawers. Otherwise they are dirty and go into the wash.

YABU.

liz70 · 12/05/2017 20:00

How about a multi hook over door hanger? Then you could hang clothes that are worn but not needing washing from it. Freshly washed clothes in the wardrobe/drawers, dirty in the laundry basket. A separate laundry bag to hold clean dry washing that's awaiting putting away. No need for clothes on floor then.

milliemolliemou · 12/05/2017 20:59

I'm with OP, though I'd have two baskets - one washing, other for clothes to be reworn. Floordrobes are messy. I have DCs who only wear clothes once (can understand if undies, sports gear but usually isn't) and they are supercritical of me wearing clothes two days in a row - while not realizing they're destroying the planet with their insistence on washing clothes daily. Or me washing them daily after picking them off from their floordrobes.

RandomMess · 12/05/2017 21:02

You need a chair robe.

A chair where you put your clothes that he is not allowed to smell/touch...

Mysteriouscurle · 12/05/2017 21:14

I wouldn't be keen on clothes on the floor but it is in your space. I think next time he goes to find his stuff in his bag he needs to find that sopping wet on the line. When he protests an innocent face and "oh I thought that was what we were doing now with clothes left lying around?" should very likely get the message across. As long as hes not likely to turn nasty about it.

Blimey01 · 12/05/2017 21:24

I have pile of clothes on my floor and now it has an official name - a floordrobe! Love it

OhTheRoses · 12/05/2017 21:24

Hmm. My skirts, trousers, cardigans, jackets, etc., are draped over a chair from Monday to Saturday morning. They need to "air". DH's suits (trousers in trouser press) jackets go straight on a hanger, followed by trousers next morning. His wardrobe has a faint "whiff". Mine Doesn't.

YANBU.

crazycatz · 12/05/2017 22:30

I was a bit disgusted to hear you leave your clothes on the floor tbh. But then I remembered the pile of clothes I keep on the floor in front of my wardrobe! oops sorry to be so judgemental. I think it is the thing where you do everyone else's bloody washing and putting away and at some point you just run out of steam.

WaitingYetAgain · 12/05/2017 23:09

I have a beanbag in the corner with clean clothes waiting to be put away stacked on it and a chair with already worn but going to wear again imminently clothes on it. A chair is a good solution, I think.

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