Have 'thank yous' for presents died a death

[user1485342611]

I sent a Godchild a cheque for £50 for her 21st birthday a couple of months ago. I heard nothing back and wondered if it had gone missing in the post. When I was having lunch with her mum today I said casually 'I hope Sarah got my present. I wasn't sure if I had the correct address'? Her mum replied, equally casually 'oh yes, she mentioned you sent her some money. That was really nice of you'

If someone sends me a present I always text or ring as soon as possible to thank them. It used also be the custom to send thank you cards for wedding or new baby presents within a month or so of receiving them.

But this seems to be a dying custom. I have had wedding and new baby presents go unacknowledged, and my mother has given some of her nieces and nephews very generous gifts for weddings, significant birthdays etc. and then worried that they never received them because she heard absolutely nothing back.

Why do so many people nowadays think it is acceptable to not bother to thank people who have gone to the trouble of sending them cash or presents to mark a significant occasion?

randomer

Giving to receive is expecting a reciprocal gift, not a thank you.

If I didn't get thank you, say 3 times (Xmas, birthday, then Xmas again say), then I probably wouldn't be sending another gift. It shows entitlement and bad manners.

I sent thank you cards for our wedding presents and baby presents, although the baby ones did take a while to get sent out, but I'm sure people were understanding when you have a newborn. I have usually received thank you cards for wedding and baby presents that I sent too, although I haven't received thank you cards for 2 separate baby presents I gave about 5 months ago and I did notice that I didn't get one. I know some people who are daunted by the prospect of writing lots of separate cards, get a message pre-printed on them so they just have to address the envelopes. I do like to write a personal message but don't mind if I get a pre-printed one, it's better than not getting one at all.

Now that I have a child, when they're a bit older I will try to get them to write thank you cards for presents they receive, I think it's important for them to learn to be thankful for presents they receive.

If not sending a card, I would at the least send a text or thank them in person when I see them, i find it rude not to acknowledge a present at all.

Mariposa We had a situation where friends had moved away so presents had to be posted. I never ever received a thank you from any of their three children so eventually stopped sending gifts, it wasn't just a matter of the thank you but also peace of mind that the gift hadn't been lost in the post!

Anyway, I stopped sending to them and a week after the first time the husband of the couple phoned my husband at work to ask him why we hadn't sent a present for their child's birthday. My husband said that the friend was very off with him and obviously wasn't happy.
We've barely seen them since.

I've always sent a note and have always sat my children down to wrote them for gifts they've received too, now they're grown up they're more likely to send a text or email though.

I'm still waiting for one for a wedding present which we gave a year ago.

I think in the past people gave gifts very rarely. With today's consumerism, people buy way too much stuff and then complain about shitty presents every occasion, that later end up in charity shops.

I did hate writing thank yous as a child. Felt daft to write cards for gifts i didn't even like.

I think in that situation it is really rude to not acknowledge it at all. She should have called or at least text you.
I have never done thank you cards or letters. Usually presents for my children are given to them face to face so we say thank you there and then. If not face to face we would acknowledge with a call text or email.

I've always sent Thankyou cards for gifts, unless I am thank in person..except for our wedding and everyone got a thankyou card , same for the gifts we received when DS was born.
However I have sent gifts for friends children and received no Thankyou not even a text ( again unsure if it's been lost in the post), and same when a relatives baby was born nothing.
I don't expect a big Thankyou just a text to at least acknowledge they have the gift.

I agree - it doesn't need to be a long letter, but a quick text/email/FB message to say thanks should be sent if the giver isn't there to be thanked in person.

Rightly or wrongly, the lack of even the slightest acknowledgement of presents (usually cash so not rubbish/wildly inappropriate ) sent was the reason I stopped sending presents to my nieces and nephews once they turned 18.

My nephew stopped acknowledging presentscwhen he got to 16 and my sister started leaving it to him (fair enough). He's turning 18 next week and is about to receive his last ever gift from us.

They haven't died out in our house but appear to have died out in many houses that receive gifts from us.

Once they get to teenagers I don't even mind if it is just a facebook message or text - more to acknowledge receipt than expect thanks - especially if sent by post.

My sister's youngest has had his last present too - 3 strikes and they're off the list!