To ask you how you maintain your relationship when you hardly see each other?

[OrchidBlue]

Have name changed.

DH and I have 2 young children both pre-school age. I work 4 days a week and he's full time.

Our situation has very recently changed which means I will have to work over 3 days having weekends off and 2 days off during the week. DH works all sorts of weird and wonderful shifts that can start anywhere from 6am and finish up until 2am. We're lucky in the fact he can get the same days off during the week but his actual shifts aren't known until a week before.

Due to childcare issues our days off during the week will have to be different days to cover 4 days of childcare. Currently we manage to have 1 day off together every week.

We feel disconnected if we go too long without spending time together as it's so easy to fall into a work/kids routine where we are like passing ships in the night. I go to bed really early as I have a long commute to work and start early.

Our youngest will start nursery in a couple of years so hopefully that'll make things easier but right now that seems a long way off!

How does everyone else manage to keep their relationship alive and the closeness there in these sort of situations?

Anyone?

Can you plan anything? Like a few days holiday so you can keep up the closeness? Not knowing shifts makes it very hard.

I only see my DP once or twice a week. We text and call a lot, make plans when we can and when we are alone we try to do things that involve a lot of talking and/or sex!
In some ways it can keep things fresh, by the end of the week I cannot wait to cuddle with him and our affection is very high with one another and we talk a lot.

From now until then end of September me and my dp are like ships that pass in the night. Summer is our busy season and we both work long hours including weekend. Luckily we can use phones at work so we have a chat on our breaks.

By the time I get in at night I'm ready for bed and he will have been out since 7am so he's ready to sleep too.

Means we certainly don't have time to argue

Me and my OH are in a long distance relationship. We call and text each other every night and like another poster said it means we appreciate the time we do spend together

You're set up is the same as ours, shifts including weekends between us both, don't get a great deal of time together, it works because it has to, that's just how it is for now, we juggle childcare between us, we keep each other up to date via text day to day, and when we get a weekend together we try get one evening alone, we have this weekend together which is the first day off we've had with each other in a month, our days off together are very important and we don't schedule other things in.
You'll find a way that works for you, we have and it's been this way for a lot of years now, we absolutely adore each other and managed to still stay connected after all these years, hell we've even managed to make 3 babies together

Also take all the opportunities you can get. Even if it's snogging in the car alone for 10 mins. It keeps me going for a good few days that one!

Thanks for your replies!

Yes, we'll definitely need to make the most of the time we do get together.

Just think it's also crap for the kids because they won't get much time with us both together for days out and stuff.

We'll both need to make the effort as i think it will be too easy to fall into separate lives!

Text / iMessage a lot.

Face time if you have a lunch break when he is home or vice versa.

Be watching a TV series together but not actually at the same time if you see what I mean. So you watch episode 3 when you get home from work then the next day DH watches it and you can chat about it.

Have some planned 'together time' in the diary so you have something to look forward to.