Asking husband to do both night feeds tomorrow

[mum2two17]

My husbands been away since Sunday with work. I'm at home all week with my two children one 6 weeks and a 4 year old. The 6 week old is constantly waking which is to be expected. 🤔Husband is home tomorrow evening and back in work Friday morning. AIBU to ask him to do both feeds tomorrow night to let me get a full nights sleep. One feed is at 12 and the other at 6am. I've just hit a wall this evening. We're both up early Saturday and Sunday this weekend as ds has football and Sunday husband invited his friends over so I will be up getting house and food ready. Hes had 5 days of uninterrupted sleep plus he's slept in our spare room a few times when baby's been really fussy whereas she hasn't left my side since she's been born

1. Yes, absolutely he must do the night feeds tonight.
2. No, you absolutely do NOT get the house ready for HIS friends- either cancel or insist that he does it himself.

FWIW, my STBXH, while having many faults, did every other night on full duty when ds2 was tiny. He would take the Moses basket, baby, bottles, nappies etc downstairs and sleep on the sofa so that I could have a full, uninterrupted night's sleep in my own bed. I'm 100% positive that this was the major factor in my quick return to full fitness. He worked full time in the City, out of the house a minimum of 12 hours a day-but he saw it as the right thing to do.

Another person who is a bit confused as to why you are running around after his mates with a 6 week old. Maybe if he did the prep, he'd work out why entertaining with a very small baby isn't a good idea.

YADNBU. He needs to do the feeds & look after his friends. 5 nights of sleep is bliss!

"I'm exhausted doing the baby stuff alone and can't think straight. I need you to have my back and give me a night's sleep"

Just tell him straight you need the help, he's the other team member here.

As for Sunday, I'd be having words about the reality of a 6 week baby with no backup if I were you. Do not be wasting potential sleep time on crap.

As soon as I'd finished breastfeeding, DH took over night shift. It's been about 5 months. I do the occasional night when he's nackered, but after 2 bad sleepers I'd done my time.

We are all so much happier now that I sleep (looking forward to the day the screaming baby next door stops screaming at night)

In conclusion, you are both parents. Sleep is as important for survival/ well being as eating and drinking. A couple of night feeds won't kill him.

i would ask him to do one of them as at work fri but then on fri or sat night do both

if he does 12,then you go to bed at 9pm and sleep till 6ish

he will then get sleep 1230/6/7

if he did other way round you will still be up 6/7 for your eldest child

6am a night feed?! Ugh my little one wakes up and is bouncing off the walls by then... and sometimes still for the 12am nightfeed 😂😨

And he is almost 3... Haha ok he us usually asleep by 830 these days but we had to cut out the nap for that which was more pinful for me than him as I DID sleep when he slept!

Your 6 week old only feeds every 6 hours? What kind of iron-fisted schedule have you got running there and how do you get it to work?

I'm going to be ripped apart for this...but 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep is a lot...are you being woken by the 4 year old in that time?

Come on. A formula fed baby waking at 12 and 6 does not mean 6 hours sleep between. The bottle had to be made then baby fed then winded then settled. That's at least 1.30 am or 2 am before you can try to go back to sleep.

But I suspect the suggestion of getting him to do the one midnight feed whilst you have an early night and then sleep through to 6 is going to be most successful. Both of you get sleep. Win win.

And he should definitely take baby to ds's football whilst you tidy/sort (or other way round, but a superficial sort might mean you can get more sleep). And get friends to bring a dish to the meal- take it away with then afterwards and the washing up is less!

@blue I disagree - doesn't take 2hrs to do a feed if ff

I'm mixed feeding and if do a bottle at night my dd 6w is fed winded changed back in Moses basket and me back in bed within 30mins

Tho she feeds 3/4hrs so 10/11 1/2 4/5

My dh did Friday night and Saturday night when I was on mat leave, and I did Sunday to the Thursday inclusive, which worked for us.

Like *scaryteacher" DH did Friday and Saturday nights from DS being 8 weeks ( due to issues with feeding) to 5 months. At which point he fell into a better pattern of sleeping.

I'd have cracked without those 2 nights a week - and we only had the one child.