Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this an awful thing to do? Or should I think of myself first?

55 replies

Minimim · 10/05/2017 21:44

Would I be unreasonable (and a horrible person!) to leave a job I detest for my perfect job, while still in my probation, just after my boss has announced her pregnancy and is expecting me to cover her mat leave?

There is nobody but me to cover within the company and I know that having to recruit someone will be very hard due to the location and specialist area, so will put her under a lot of stress.

But... I'm miserable. If I stay for the mat leave cover that's at least another 14 months in a job that is making me hugely depressed after just two - the thought fills me with horror! And actually a very large part of the reason I hate the job is my boss's shitty attitude towards me.

I feel like I shouldn't even be thinking of not quitting but the guilt at putting a pregnant woman through loads of stress (and it will definitely fall to her to recruit/get a secondee/'sort the problem' as her boss will not take any responsibility for this). I know that she'll be completely shocked at me leaving...

Help?!

OP posts:
d270r0 · 10/05/2017 22:07

Leave. You can't let someone else you don't even like dictate your life.

LoveForTulips · 10/05/2017 22:08

Leave!!! You come first, every time!

sarahC40 · 10/05/2017 22:13

Do it! Jump ship. If you're feel that bad after two months it'll do you no good to stay. Been there and it took my older brother to sit me down and tell me I was making everyone sad because I was so fed up with work.

NoSquirrels · 10/05/2017 22:15

If you've been offered the perfect job, go. Most companies will just have a "Fuck, recruitment" sigh to themselves, and chalk it up to one of those things.

If you are just applying for dream job, think carefully about how you handle the conversation about why you're leaving previous job so soon.

Bear in mind that if you've been in post 2 months, and boss is announcing pregnancy now, perhaps she is feeling insecure/hormonal/vomitous and tired and ill etc etc and hasn't been great to work for for those reasons. If you did stay to cover her maternity leave, she wouldn't be a factor, so might be worth having the experience for your CV and then leaving.

But don't feel bad about what you decide, or be guilted into staying. It's business, and your career at the end of the day - you don't have to make their lives easier if it doesn't benefit you too.

user1492287253 · 10/05/2017 22:16

Not my circus, not my monkeys. Repeat

WhatchaMaCalllit · 10/05/2017 22:21

I'm in the leave camp. However if it is this woman who is going on maternity leave and she wont be around for the next 14 months, wouldn't that give you an opportunity to show what you could do in her absence, without her interference and you'd be able improve your skills at the same time? Just a thought....

SheSaidHeSaid · 10/05/2017 22:21

Leave!!! Take your dream job, please!!!!

Flyinggeese · 10/05/2017 22:22

Do it, do it, do it. Probationary period is for the benefit of both sides remember. Add into the equation the awful behaviour, don't think twice.

NoSquirrels · 10/05/2017 22:27

Only other thing to consider is if it is a small niche industry/career path you want to consider that you might end up back in the orbit of the company you're working for again, so you need to either handle leaving with extreme dignity and professionalism, or decide to suck it up for another 6-12 months (no need to be tied to the maternity cover timescale for yourself) if you think the risk is you'll need that goodwill in the future. I mention it only because you said: I know that having to recruit someone will be very hard due to the location and specialist area

SweetLuck · 10/05/2017 22:27

GO!!!!!

Bostin · 10/05/2017 22:29

I had a paper round at a place with a pervy owner. I got offered another paper round the same wages but significantly lower hours and working for nice people. I did not take the offer out of misplaced loyalty.
The perve sacked me in the end.

Astro55 · 10/05/2017 22:31

Ask yourself - would she be concerned about you?

Leave - you own them nothing - not your problem if they can't keep staff

Annie592 · 10/05/2017 22:43

Love 51 :I'm surprised every time I hear of a dilemma like this. It's work. You go, they pay you, you don't want to go, you hand in your notice and it is all quits

Agree 100% with this. If they had to make you redundant at any point, they absolutely would. Do what's right for you OP.

Carolinethebrave · 10/05/2017 22:45

Leave - go for the other job!

yellowfrog · 10/05/2017 22:46

Run, run like the wind! And enjoy your dream job!

Tazerface · 10/05/2017 22:46

You owe them nothing but the courtesy of a resignation letter and to work your notice.

Don't overthink it. Not your problem to source maternity cover for her if you leave.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/05/2017 22:48

SHe clearly doesnt give a toss about you, why the hell should you give a shit about her and her problems? And lets face it, they are of her making because if she didnt have a shitty attitude, you wouldnt be leaving would you?

Pigface1 · 10/05/2017 22:53

You MUST take your perfect job.

LadyLapsang · 10/05/2017 22:56

Take the new job - I hope it works out!

Ohyesiam · 10/05/2017 22:58

You owe it to yourself to take your dream job.
And you don't know what will happen when you leave. They might find someone who loves the job, gets a lot from it etc.

ShakingAndShocked · 10/05/2017 23:07

Leave but for the love of God please don't hand in your notice until you have contract for new job in your hands AND they (new employers) are aware that you have concerns vis current bosses reaction if contract reference dependent.

Good luck! Life way too short to spend it being miserable and YY to PPs vis what would her or company's loyalty towards you be? Zero percent of zero is answer to that Wink

Flyinggeese · 10/05/2017 23:26

Gosh yes, OP do you actually have a firm job offer for the new role?

Original poster
Minimim · 11/05/2017 06:07

Yep I have an offer. NoSquirrels and others that mentioned possibly sticking it out as the boss will be on mat leave - I hate the actual work as well as the boss! I was a generalist before in my profession and moved into a much more niche area because it sounded so interesting at interview etc., but it's just all wrong for me. So also will do nothing for my cv except pigeonhole me into an area I hate. I have no idea what I'm even thinking of considering staying Confused haha.

The new job is more generalist again with a focus on all the areas I love and am good at Grin

Thanks all for the kick up the arse, I swear I am not this pathetic usually but feel like this job has really knocked my confidence - ridiculous I know in two months!

OP posts:
waybalooo · 11/05/2017 06:11

I understand your feelings of loyalty.. but.. go go go.. get the fuck out!!!

pluck · 11/05/2017 06:30

You've got a great business/ professional reason to give the new company about the move after 2 months.... compared to a horrible role in a company with one boss who's in your face and another who sounds hands-off in the best interpretation (and sink-or-swim in the worst scenario). No contest!