To think I must be able to find a way round this? (

[CarrieMayBe]

I am desperate to do a nursing degree, I am newly separated after a 20yr relationship and feel this is my chance to finally do something with my life.

I have 4 DC, eldest 2 are 21 and 17 so self sufficient. Youngest two however are only 9 and almost 7.

If I start the degree it won't be until at least Sept '18, and most likely Sept '19 as I need to do an access course first and probably a GCSE too. So, youngest DC would be 9 and 11 by then.

I won't have any childcare options though. Not for the early starts and late finishes/night shifts. Only local childcare is from 745-1800. They do see their dad at weekends so those would be covered but he won't help out during week due to his selfishness work commitments.

There must be a way I can make this work though? I've looked into what help I'm entitled to and if I qualify for full student finance then currently I can claim up to £266/week for childcare costs for 2 children. It has to be registered childcare though, I have been thinking au pair but not sure this would qualify? I'm hoping to be awarded spousal maintenance as part of financial settlement in divorce which, if successful, I would make sure childcare costs are included so I could top this amount up. How much is a live in nanny?

Ideally, I'd need someone to cover early morning (I'm about an hour away from hospital and uni) so do breakfasts and school run and then school pick up and dinner/homework/bed if I'm finishing late. If not on placement then I'd be home by 6 or so. Then the odd overnight (I believe only 3 in the first year, there will be more in 2nd and 3rd). What options do I have?

I have to find a way to do this, it's my dream and I know I'll regret it if I don't.

I should add, eldest DC works full time himself so couldn't be around when I need him for childcare and 2nd eldest is likely to be at uni herself by time I start and unlikely to be local either so couldn't bank on using them to help out when needed.

First things first: apply for college, do an access course and a GCSE that will open all sorts of work and training options for all sorts of courses.

Then research local options including childminders (some would specialise in overnights or shift work), night nannies or similar

But first work on the practical access bit

Following this as I'd love to do nursing (want to be a HV) and have 3 kids. I do have a DH but he's a f/t teacher so his working pattern is really inflexible. Do you uave any local friends/family who would help out overnight/early mornings?

Good luck with your dream - hope it all works out for you!

No one who could help out, only in a desperate emergency kind of way.

ideally, I'd like someone to care for the children in my home. Because it's a nursing degree, I won't get the long holidays that other degree students do. I'd be on placement during the summer hols for example and I hate the thought of the kids being packed off everyday almost all year round. I've been a SAHM for the last 10yts and its all they know...they will need to adjust to this I know but I'd still rather they could chill out at home than be in a childcare setting somewhere if at all possible.

I will do the courses anyway, but I'd like to know if I can cover the childcare eventually too otherwise I'll bail out due to the uncertainty of it all

Your access course would be two years, if you don't have recent or relevant GCSEs. Or it was in the college where I worked for many years. That would make everyone another year older.

I used to pay two girls from our local sixth form to pick my two children up from school, bring them home, do any homework with them and cook dinner. That worked really well. (I didn't need two, but they were friends and wanted to do it together.) They needed childcare experience as they were applying for primary teaching, so it was win-win.

I did a masters for nursing with children and husband frequently working away. It was bloody hard and took 5 years but worth it (did nursing diploma the degree many moons ago) I'm in a different boat as only one year was full time at uni then 4 years part time and earning a wage. Concentrate on getting onto the course for now, - a lot can change in a year ! Good luck

Access course is only a year. I will need to do science GCSE first though so uni won't be for another 2yrs this coming sept.

At the risk of drip feeding, we live pretty rurally. No teenagers would be able to collect my kids from school (nearest 6th form or college is at least 10 miles from DCs school) in time or get them back to mine if they couldn't drive. Hence lack of childcare available too, no childminders local to school, only in nearest towns which again are about 10 miles from school! School has wraparound care but only 745-1800.

Only family I have is MIL but FIL has COPD and they have to avoid anyone with colds like the plague as a chest infection could kill him. So that means she doesn't see my children for at least 6months of the year! She'd be ok as a stand in, even STBEXH could do the odd but but I need something reliable and consistent in place.

Does anyone have experience of au pairs or nannies? Trouble is they'd have nothing to do during school hours

Is it worth asking staff from the school wraparound care if they would do the extended hours you need. One of them might jump at the chance of extra money and might be flexible enough to cover your shifts etc.
Good luck with your future career, nursing (although hard work and not always valued), is a very rewarding job.

Can you move house ? Presumably being rural isn't going to be great for your studies either.

I think you'd have trouble attracting an au pair somewhere so rural. Aren't they meant to study English at college during the day (ours always did when I was a child, but we lived in central London). Even if not, you need something to attract an au pair to your location as well as your family.

I think you might be better off moving somewhere more urban, schools depending.

I agree - living rurally will cause so many problems.