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to be cross with MIL because she thinks we should be happy to let our friends down?

12 replies

LowFatMilkshake · 14/03/2007 15:27

Here's the situation.

A family member has asked us to keep the next few weekends free for a special event, which is being bought forward because someone has to have an operation and there are concerns for thier health afterwards.
Of course we will attend and be moral suport for this person and the rest of the family and we are looking forward to going and taking part.

However the organisation for the event has yet to even start because venues etc are trying to squeeze it in around all other pre-booked stuff. Therefore as yet we dont even have a date for the 'do' just a "within the next 4 or so weeks"

In this 4 week period we have a friends milestone birthday bash and another party.

Because we need babysitters for the birthday party - as it's a big do, no children etc we have cancelled this because the IL's are our only option for babysitters and MIL does not want to commit herself or be away from said family member - we understand this and in a round about sort of way it has actually done us a favour because of what we would have had to rent/buy to wear. Although we feel terrible for the friends in question as they are such good friends - but we are making it up to them later by taking them out for dinner etc.

The other party is also a catered event and they want numbers - like us money is tight so it's either yes or no now. So again we have said no just in case, as both events will be on a Sunday. I am a bit resentful of this though this because this was a child friendly party where DD's friends would be and we would be cathcing up with all our friends who we hardly see as a big group anymore due to kids and work etc.

Not for one minute am I annoyed because I would rather go to our parties. There is no question that in this case family comes first.

However what has cheesed me off is my MIL's attitude that we should be happy to just sit and wait and let our friends down. Bearing in mind that we might be able to go to both events if the 'do' is after them. She hates our friends and has insulted them many times at our wedding and DD's Christening. I think this is because she is jealous as she has no friends of her own anymore. The trouble is if I say anything back to her she will twist it to sound like we dont want to attend the family occasion which is'nt the case at all.

I just want to slap her round the head with a big wet fish right now!

OP posts:

deaconblue · 14/03/2007 16:00

You are not unreasonable. MIL very annoying. Grrrrrrrrrrrr on your behalf


LowFatMilkshake · 14/03/2007 20:13

Thank you.

When I was growing up every male stand up comic made mother-in-law jokes. In reality it's actually women who have the worst deal!!

OP posts:

margo1974 · 14/03/2007 20:17

here's a trout for the old trout!


noonar · 14/03/2007 20:17

um, why cant they just set a date now, before the op!


LazyLine · 14/03/2007 20:18

Is it ever unreasonable to be cross at a MIL?


simplycontrolfreaky · 14/03/2007 20:21



LowFatMilkshake · 14/03/2007 20:21

Noonar - because notice of the op was such short notice, 4-6 weeks, they are having to find somewhere to host the event, so it's literally as soon a somewhere finds an available date and agrees to take it on we'll know. We could have as much as a weeks notice or as little as a day!

OP posts:

noonar · 14/03/2007 20:24

blimey. what's the event?


LowFatMilkshake · 14/03/2007 20:29

is a Christening for the LO having the op - a I said there is no question that we want to and will go.

But MIL has to make everything in to a farking battle!!

OP posts:

noonar · 14/03/2007 20:31

aaah, i see. would it be easier to hold it on a weekday? just a thought. we married on a weekday.


LowFatMilkshake · 14/03/2007 20:33

No - family could not all get there and they want as many people as possible. It was planned for later in the year as LO was to be Christened at the same time as her brother - but has now had to be bought forward for obvious reasons.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 15/03/2007 16:31

I think you have made a mistake letting MIL know what you may or may not be doing for the next 4 weeks apart from going to the so far undated event.

Say you are going to the event if you possibly can - to the parents of the child - as you have said that you want to. Don't discuss your arrangements with MIL. Ask how much notice you can expect - a week maybe? These things have to be organised with some lead time, even in these circs. Then you will have a little notice, to let you go to other things which may crop up. I am sure your other friends will understand. I would, if it was me.

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