To ask you all how you disconnect from someone you love?

[FataliePorkman]

Because this is super painful

I don't think I ever have, it must be awful if you have to and still love them. Who is it?

I know what it's like. You can't eat or sleep or even breathe sometimes. And everyday you cry until at some point you don't and that's a triumph. It takes time - and anything to distract yourself in the meantime. Binge watch a series, a really good, not too demanding book, a run ... Whatever works for you. And if you have friends or family for support allow yourself a few self-indulgent sessions of pouring out your woes on them (if they'll let you!).

Take care.

I think some Buddhist methodology may help, esp buddhisms ideals on attachment, or de-attachment

Talk to us, some pple may have been in a similar situation , many pple have cut loved ones out of their lives for many different reasons

Fake it until you make it. Feel like shit on the inside and force a smile on the outside. I figure that (eventually) I'll start to not care.

I read two books on the subject which helped enormously. One is by Paul McKenna and the other is written by an American psychotherapist. However it requires action. Not being disrespectful but some people don't want to do the work and in that case, if you change nothing then nothing changes.

I feel for you op... I'm 3 years on and there are times where it doesn't feel like it's got any easier

Personally. Delete all old memories. Literally erase someone.

100% no contact.

For me that was the only way.

Eventually it goes away. I don't think you ever truly "get over" it. But slowly you disconnect.

Block them on social media. Block their number. If they ring or text from another number then block that too. Completely cut yourself off, it's the only way. It's heartbreaking and you'll feel like you want to puke with the sadness and hurt (been there, believe me) but it's the only way to do it. There's no way to have a little bit of contact with someone you're still in love with and still lead a happy life.

Mourn them and the relationship. But only indulge in sobbing, crappy music for 48 HR max. Then start a new hobby that requires you to concentrate and learn new skills. Our brains are amazing but learning new things requires a lot of brain energy, leaving less to think about them

One day, you will wake up and it won't be for hours that they'll pop into your head. Then every day is a little easier before you realise you hadn't thought about them at all. Months/years later you'll look back and it won't hurt at all

Cut them out completely. Get rid of anything that reminds you of them, block their number and social media accounts, avoid them, ignore, keep busy and start dating again. The best way to get over someone is to get on someone new... Nothing serious... Just a distraction.

It takes time, similar to the grieving process I think. Don't have ANY contact. Poor you it's so hard but it gets easier 💐

Assuming this is a break up situation, I read somewhere it takes two weeks to break an "addiction" to someone, e.g. change patterns of thoughts, behaviour etc and looking back at break ups I had when I was younger it does make a bit of sense.

Obviously I still thought about the person after two weeks (!) but the rawness of it eases over time. Take good care of yourself, try and keep your mind on other things and before you know it you'll start to feel a bit better and then a bit better again.

It takes time and eventually thebwound heals a little and isn't as raw. It's hard to believe right now but it does get a bit easier as you go on. In my case I had to work with the person which made it so hard, I had to change jobs. It was 13 years ago and I have a new DP however I found out he recently got married and it brought back all sorts of unwelcome feelings.

I'm only 4 days in from a break up so I feel for you OP. It's hard but the thing that I keep repeating to myself if that I got over a 15 year marriage eventually so I should get over an 8 month relationship easier. I spent the first two days bawling to anyone who would listen but now I'm just trying to keep busy.

From memory, each day gets easier and easier. Take care OP and be good to yourself.

I agree, no contact.

I agree with fake it till you make it and 100% non contact if you're struggling. There is nothing to be gained from keeping pictures, mementos, letters etc all they can ever do is upset you. Get rid, bag them all up and get rid. If the silly idiot doesn't want you then it's their loss but you can't change it so big girl pants on, breathe and move forward. Fake it till you make it

I thought I was locked in grief, but a kind psychotherapist showed me I was panicking invade I felt it, because I thought it could drown me. So the next time I felt a wave of grief, I let my body feel it, ( it was in my chest) I just let it be there. And to my surprise and delight, because I was actually experiencing it, it changed, and trickled away. I knew them I could get through the rest of my life ( till them I was doubtful).

So what I hadn't understood was that I thought a " feeling " was an emotional experience, but when I felt it in my body, I realised people were talking about physical sensation, not a mood or state of mind. All I had to do to let it be on my body was relax, then it sorted itself out.
I hope this makes sense.

• invade, not invade.

• Argh! In case!