Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secondary Infertility

24 replies

ballerinabelle · 10/05/2017 10:29

I am in the process of trying to conceive my second child. Been trying a couple of months and nothing's happened yet. I wasn't worried until friends started to tell me about secondary infertility and how common it is. I had no idea and now I'm really terrified. I had a section with my first child and I'm worried that's reduced my chances of conceiving naturally the second time.

AIBU to worry about this? And is it as common as I've been told?

OP posts:
juneau · 10/05/2017 10:32

A couple of months is nothing, so I really wouldn't worry yet. I think from a medical perspective you need to be actively trying for at least six months with nothing happening for it to be investigated. Just eat healthily, keep off the booze, stay active, encourage your DP to do the same, and shag plenty Grin

MissBax · 10/05/2017 10:32

You've only been trying a couple of months, don't listen to friends and their horror stories. If you've tried two years with no avail then see you'd GP

SecretNetter · 10/05/2017 10:33

A couple of months is no time at all...you'd be silly to get overly worried yet.

I took 3 months to TTC with ds1 and 14 months with ds2. And dc3 is on the way despite doubling up on contraception Shock

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 10/05/2017 10:34

Thanks juneau

I think when you've been blissfully ignorant of something, it really hits you hard when you're told of how hard it could be to conceive a second time around

OP posts:
Mari50 · 10/05/2017 10:34

I think if you've been trying a couple of months then you just need to relax for the moment.
I don't think damage after a section is that common and when I've tried to research it it's not given too much away.
However I will depress you by adding I have secondary infertility, I fell pregnant within two months with my DD and tried for another 5 years before my age and the age gap of any second child convinced me to throw in the towel.
I didn't have any investigations other than hormone checks. I was ovulating regularly though and everything was as it should be.
I had an emergency c section.
Bear in mind there are loads of women who have had sections who have gone on to have more children so it's not something that typically causes issues.

SquatBetty · 10/05/2017 10:36

Took us a couple of years to conceive 2nd time round (currently 36 weeks pregnant) and I had a couple of miscarriages on the way. Probably down to my age though (40s)

I'd try a bit longer if I was you as it's only been a couple of months then go to the doctors for initial blood tests etc and your partner will probably need to take a fresh sperm sample for testing at your hospital.

AFAIK having a section would not make conceiving a second time round, difficult.

FoxyRoxy · 10/05/2017 10:38

I was coming to sympathise with you after seeing the thread title but you've been trying a couple of months, not years! As someone who suffered from unexplained secondary infertility (3 years ttc for DC2) we were at the point of IVF when I suddenly got pregnant naturally. YABU to be worrying about this at this stage. Are you keeping track of your cycles? It can be hard to make sure you're having sex at the right time when you're busy and have other DC. Good luck op and don't stress about something you've no need to stress about!

DorkMaiden · 10/05/2017 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RainbowChasing · 10/05/2017 10:41

I really wouldn't worry anytime soon about it. In my "baby" friendship group of 10 mums, only two of us have struggled to conceive a second child and of the two who have struggled, one has no Fallopian tubes and I have suffer from unexplained infertility and struggled to conceive my first as well as my second. Everyone else got pregnant within 8 months.

Plus one of my friends had an awful time after having a c-section with her first where the hospital made a number of mistakes whilst stitching her up but she still conceived her second child within a month or so of trying. Don't fret.

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 10/05/2017 12:06

Thanks ladies.

I'm a real worrier and this just makes me feel sick.

I'm also fed up listening to everyone say "oh I got pregnant after the first time of trying" Sad

OP posts:
SnapJack68 · 10/05/2017 12:43

Took 13 months with our 2nd. Was instant with our first !

LaurieMarlow · 10/05/2017 12:57

OP, I really feel for you, I'm in exactly the same position.

I fell pregnant with DS first month of trying. Subconsciously I concluded that made me a super fertile machine. So it came as a shock to struggle the second time around. We've been trying for six months now and I've had one chemical pregnancy then nada. I'm 36, so conscious that time is marching on.

However, it seems to be pretty common for the second child to take a lot longer and lots of my friends have born this out. I'm trying not to obsess about it, because I don't think that's helpful, but dear God it's difficult not to.

Decide when you're going to investigate further and in the meantime try to relax, have loads of sex, look after yourself and don't think about it too much.

Hoping a BFP comes your way (and mine) soon.

Voni2208 · 10/05/2017 13:06

In this boat now. I have pcos but as DD was conceived very quickly I didn't think it would take long with DC2... Just finished my first cycle of clomid after Ttc since Sept 2015 so hoping and wishing it's worked! Fingers crossed you get a BFP soon. Make sure you keep a track of your cycles, and if you haven't caught on by xmas I'd suggest going to see the GP :)

LaurieMarlow · 10/05/2017 13:07

Just to add, I've never heard that having a section makes it more difficult to get pregnant again. I had a section with DS myself, but it's never occurred to me to worry about it.

My DM had sections with all three of her children. In her case at least it didn't seem to affect her ability to get pregnant.

NooNooHead1981 · 10/05/2017 13:15

I have been wanting and not being careful (but not really 'actively' trying) for 6 years... so a couple of months is very short! I had an ectopic recently which was awful so I am back to square one again on the TTC front. :-(

You will get there, and I know it easier said than done, but try not to worry as this will def affect your chances.

I'm sure you will be fine. Lots of baby dust to you :-)

EdmundCleverClogs · 10/05/2017 13:15

So many 'issues' come into play when trying to conceive a second. Just finding the time/energy to have sex is half the battle (especially at the 'right time') if you have young/needy children. I found my cycle has been all over the place since my periods returned as well, though I'm still breastfeeding at night. My partner and I have been trying for over 9 months and actually did get a positive last week (as opposed to one accident, then on the 2/3 cycle after the first ended in mc). I know how stressful it is when you think you're 'nicely fertile', only for nothing to happen when you actually try again. You really don't need to worry yet, I'd give it a few more cycles.

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 10/05/2017 15:41

Oh ladies I have everything crossed for you all! Let's hope we're all successful Smile

OP posts:
cricketballs · 10/05/2017 16:30

We struggled for DS2; had a miscarriage then 18 months of nothing. I was using Clomid and I was about to have keyhole check of tubes when the night before I tested positive. 5 years between the 2

ladyfordington · 10/05/2017 16:48

I've had 3 c-sections - the first two were emergencies and the third was elective.

My second and third pregnancies were conceived far quicker than my first so my sections certainly didn't cause any problems for me. (2 years for #1, 6 months for #2 and 1 month for #3)

Hope you get your BFP soon Op

JacquesHammer · 10/05/2017 16:49

With the best will in the world OP you need to relax. A couple of months is nothing - and your friends are very unhelpful. You wouldn't be considering it if they haven't raised the issue

Dozer · 10/05/2017 16:53

You just don't know what will happen, but you're being overanxious at present. (I have anxiety and don't mean to be mean!). Early days. If friends' comments make you anxious best not discuss ttc with them.

Grimbles · 10/05/2017 16:54

It's been 5 years for us, I'm going to be 40 this year so have probably missed the boat now.

Screwinthetuna · 10/05/2017 16:55

None of my friends or family have had it, if that makes you feel any better! I would think it was rare rather than common!

Ginfernal · 10/05/2017 17:49

Secondary with pcos here too. 5 1/2 years trying. 2 chemical pregnancies.
Have to be trying for a min of 1 year with known infertility conditions or 2 without before referral for investigation

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread