Ok I know I'm about 2 years behind the rest of the world - but just watched 50 shades of Grey - Seriously WTF!

[Dickydory]

I kinda ignored the huge hysteria around the books and first film. Tonight DH went out and browsing Netflix I thought what the hell. I was expecting to see a slightly raunchy film, but romantic etc given the hype. What I saw was one of the worst portrayals of domestic abuse, controlling and concerning behaviour wrapped up in money to apparently make it exciting, acceptable and attractive. How was any of this ever turned into something exciting, enticing and making women flock to the cinemas and dream of Mr Grey. I'm no staunch feminist but christ if that was my daughter I'd be telling her to run and if it was my son he'd been having extremely stern words and counselling! How did this become a romance? How did it become a favourite for 'charity screenings' - sorry you've probably all done this before but I literally just sat here gobsmacked!!!

Oh yes Sleep secretary is very good. Very understated but classy.

The whole story is worrying because what if a vulnerable woman in an abusive relationship like the one portrayed sees it and thinks that if she stays with her abuser he will 'change' and they will all live happily ever after. This doesn't happen in real life and it is dangerous.

I refuse to watch or read it despite being an avid reader

I keep seeing a meme saying

"If 50 shades of grey was in a trailer park, it would be a Law and Order episode"

Which I think sums it up really

Because he's a wealthy man, it's exciting

There

LapCat, exactly, yes.

I've thankfully never read the books nor seen the films but have read about them and find them rather worrying, due to the reasons posters have outlined. They seem to normalise abusive relationships and their popularity (I don't know anyone who's at all into the books or films but there are clearly millions and I've seen comments shared tens of thousands of times on social media about how brilliant it is/how that relationship is "goals" etc) is quite disturbing, given the message they seem to send out. Very regressive for women and girls, in my opinion.

I also read some extracts from the first chapter on a blog deriding the first book a while ago and it was so badly written it was amusing. I genuinely have no idea how on Earth it became so popular as it's truly terrible.

Something else I find quite alarming is the author lives about a minute away from me.

It is a vile unsexy story. It's abusive and I couldn't read the 3rd book as it's so badly written

The secretary is in a completely different class you can't compare them

Possibly another topic but it annoys me that mainstream coverage of S&M etc always has the dynamic the same way round, as far as I'm aware. Doesn't cater for all the people who have desires where the woman is the dominant and assumes women are naturally submissive.

I haven't read the books or seen the film because from what I have heard I know I would immensely dislike the pair of them.

Nymphomaniac I and II are actually very sad. I felt so sad watching them. I'm not sure I know of many positive films or books about sex myself? Maybe I look in the wrong places

Agreed.
Got about a third of the way through the book with my jaw dropping further and further to the floor before I quit. Haven't seen the film, think I would explode with rage.
I am afraid I could not be friends with anyone who liked the book/film.

I have seen the films, mainly for LOL moments its so terrible it is funny, , and the characters have about as much sexual chemistry as pair of dry crispbreads.

YANBU. Haven't seen the films but ploughed through all 3 of the books (holiday apartment had them, pissed it down with rain all week). They are without doubt the WORST books I have ever read - and I am a committed reader who will pick up just about anything.

EL James' writing is appalling which makes it painful enough to read. But the crappy "he'll change if you just love him enough" storyline is even worse. He's emotionally abusive and controlling and she's a fucking wet blanket. The whole premise is laughable as well - he's 27 and a billionnaire having started from scratch. Yeah? Doing what? There's no real explanation for how he accumulated his wealth. As for Ana - by book 3 she's an editor having got out of college approximately 1 nanosecond previously with all of her worldly job experience from working PT in a DIY shop. The whole thing is completely unbelievable.

The bit that I found the most creepy and disturbing is at the end of the last book, where one of his employee's children is scared and intimated by him...this is supposed to be mean, moody and romantic?? And as for descriptions of him taking Ana through S&M whilst heavily pregnant. Yuk.

His mother's best friend giving him his first sexual experiences under age and then introduced him to the S&M behaviour - another sick twist the 'writer' came up with. I worked my way through the books to find out what the fuss was about and agree with others it is abuse but because he is a billionaire it is excused by many readers/watchers.
Odd

The most odious thing about that load of crap was that it was written by a woman FFS.

My daughter, who was a teen at the time, was so angry with the controlling behaviour in the Twilight books that she forbade me from reading them. So I never bothered with the Twilight fan-fic that was 50 Shades.

But all is not lost with young girls these days, they can and do recognise abusive relationships (well, mine can't be the only ones!)

If he wasn't a handsome billionaire it would be a criminal minds episode!

S&M is fine if it floats your boat but this is just abusive and controlling.

If Mr Grey was a 50 year old shelf stacker living in a caravan it would be a very different story!

It's awful. If Christian Grey was a 60 yo, pot bellied, unemployed northerner then women would have been disgusted.

Apparently being rich, young and good looking allows you to not only abuse with impunity but have women all over the world wanting you to do it to them too.

Bleurgh.