AIBU or am I overreacting?

[RockyisMYRhino]

I told my DH how much weight I'd put on since becoming pregnant this morning (just over 1.5 stone in 6 months). He then turned round and said that I need to start watching what and how much I am eating. Is this too much to put on or is it normal? This is our first DC so I really don't know!!!

I gained a shit load when I was pregnant with DS - probably not far short of 4 stone in total. Granted he was a bloody huge baby and I had tons of fluid, but I definitely used it as an excuse to sit on my arse and eat whatever I fancied for 9 months.

1.5 stone sounds fine to me!

In retrospect I definitely wish I had paid more attention to my weight gain. I was as happy as larry whilst I was pregnant, wearing lots of lovely stretchy maternity dresses. But once DS was here and the bump was gone, I was just left about 3 stone overweight, with no clothes that fitted me. DS is now 15 months and I'm just starting to resemble the 'old' me again.

I was told to keep my weight gain to 21lbs maximum. Was doing OK until the last month when the weight sort of piled on. Breastfeeding took care of the pounds though my tummy needed lots of exercise before it got back to normal.

I puffed up like a blimp with #1. It was water retention in the main.

That's a normal weight gain!

Your DH obviously needs a lesson in thinking before he opens his mouth and puts both feet in there.

I've had 5DC and with all of them I put on at least 2 stone with some alot more,running around with the baby afterwards and breastfeeding made me lose all of the weight gain afterwards.

Just remember your body knows what it's doing,your making a whole new life and that's amazing so please don't withhold food from yourself or go and push yourself to try and keep weight off.

I was 7 and a half stone when I got pregnant, I was just over 10 stone at the end. It's normal to gain weight especially towards the end when baby is fully developed just getting bigger and he is being a knob to try and make you feel bad. I'd like to see him grow a whole human being and not put on weight.

Please don't listen to anyone else saying "I put on x amount of weight". It totally depends on your starting weight and BMI. The lighter you are to begin, the more weight you should gain (which is why 3 stone gain at starting weight 7 stone is normal), but the heavier you are the less you should, in fact I know of very big women who lost weight during pregnancy as they started eating well and exercising. I had a start weight of 10.2 (BMI 24) and am now 11.0 at 5 months pregnant. I was told from 20 weeks onwards to gain 1lb a week. Speak to your midwife to find out your healthy weight target :)

He wasn't being malicious, he was stating a fact. The more you gain the harder it will be to get it off. If you have previous weight issues they will be magnified.

When the baby comes you'll probably have no sleep for a while which will affect your eating and energy levels. If you're overweight that will have a much greater impact. You want to be as fit and healthy as possible to improve how you feel physically after the birth and how you cope mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.

emotional IQ of a newt :o

Hoe could have said said plenty of nicer things like, "I'm sure that's a normal/healthy amount" (it is) or "Well you look fabulous" or "That'll be the baby in there!"

Best-case scenario he's insensitive and thinks that's what you wanted to hear, or he's concerned that it's not good for you because he's ill-informed. I'd have a chat with him and let him know it's normal and healthy and you will be eating to prioritise the baby's needs, not to watch your figure.

I put on over 3 stone btw and got snidey remarks from my mum about it . But I naturally went back to normal without trying to hard - just walked places with the buggy, ate normally. Both times. Your body is supposed to gain weight when pregnant, it doesn't mean you are gaiuning weight forever.

Two and a half stone in a week? Unless your baby was two stone at birth that's a bit of a stretch. Even Kim kardashian couldn't manage that.

I agree with Phillipa

I was about 9 stone prior to DS, I ended up weighing in and something like 16 stone once he was born. I retained a lot of water weight, swelling etc during that pregnancy. Everything ballooned (I got stretchmarks on my knees ffs!), and my boobs went from a B to a FF. It took over a year and a half to shed the weight and I've never got over the changes.

This time I've put on 13lbs, still fit my clothes bar my bump, haven't went up a bra size etc.

Both pregnancies I've followed the same diet, ate moderately the same and have had the same levels of activity.

My DS was 10lb8oz and this one is estimated to be the same.

Each individual pregnancy is different in terms of what to expect and weight gain, your OH was being insensitive but might be worried about the possible health complications that can come from a larger weight gain (or in my case the psychological and emotional issues).

Your weight gain sounds normal to me. A lot of it is going to be a new peson, placenta, fluid, extra blood! I gained almost 5 stone in my last pregnancy. I was small before I fell pregnant and had gained half a stone within two weeks of finding out I was pregnant. I have no idea why, I was doing exactly the same stuff. My baby was large and my placenta was so big that loads of other midwives came in to hold it and look at it! I had many symptoms of diabetes throughout my pregnancy and was tested three times but tests showed i was fine. My husband never commented on my weight gain in particular, but it was pretty difficult to pretend i wasn't absolutely massive!

I still have about two stone to lose, but breastfeeding will really help the weight come off its that what you plan to do. The first three stone came off with no effort at all other than giving birth and breastfeeding. Don't just start up exercising or attempting to diet because you sound healthy. Ask your midwife for advice. The most important thing now is you and baby staying healthy, not your weight.

Thanks for all the replies everyone! TBH Im not too concerned about the amount of weight I have put on, as (although they are now maternity clothes) I am still wearing the same sizes I was before I fell pregnant (14 bottoms, 12 top). Im pretty sure that if I tried them on, I would still fit into my pre pregnancy jeans although I wouldn't be able to do them up now.
Im not really sure what reaction I was looking for from him really, I just mentioned it as I had weighed myself this morning and he had asked about it. I think we eat pretty healthily 90% of the time, cereal and fruit for breakfast, a couple of wraps for lunch then meat/fish, lots of veg and pasta/rice/noodles for dinner - Maybe Im just overthinking what he said as it hit a nerve from when I was a little larger a couple of years ago

Men never no what to say in response to anything to do with weight. Poor buggers can never get right.
I put on 4 stone having dd1. I did let myself go a bit. Had the "I'm pregnant I can eat what I want attitude" didn't exercise either. I was quite young it was a long time ago and I didn't really know the rules. Just the excuse I needed. Lost it all very quickly though. Within 5 months I was 2st less than my pre-pregnancy self.
So on dd2. I was very careful with my diet ate very healthy. More so than pre-pregnancy. I carried on exercising. Cycled 6 miles a day 5 days a week. Guess how much weight I put on with dd2?
4st again!. Again lost it very quickly and within 5 months I was 2st less than my pre-pregnancy self. For some reason. Baby's require me to be fat

Not sure what's normal, I put on 5.5 stone (yes stone!!) and weight 15st 6 when I went in to be induced. When I left hospital 5 days later I weighed 13st 4 but I had a biggish baby and carried a lot of water

I put on over 3 stone but was underweight to start with so needed to - it came off over about a year - 18 months after having the babysit I never went to underweight again so didn't lose it all. So your weight gain sounds ok if you were a healthy weight b4 getting pregnant.