I’ve been in an unhappy marriage and decided to split up from my husband about 2.5 years ago because I really wanted to have children but couldn’t have them with him.
I met my fiancé through work and it was a completely whirlwind romance that ended up with him proposing after 3 months of dating, we moved in 2 weeks after his proposal and we started planning a wedding on a beach in Bali, just us two. Meanwhile I found out I was pregnant, which took us both by surprise. I’m not going to lie it was really scary to begin with and whilst we both love each other, we wanted to get married, live together for a bit longer. However considering I am 35 this year, I decided that it was time to start a family and whilst we had to cancel our trip away and cut down on going out to try to save up. We live away from our families so we considered childcare costs etc. and in the end decided that it would be best for us and the baby if we move my mum into our 2 bedroom apartment in a short term to save up for a house. All of this, has been very stressful and I often felt very overwhelmed and emotional, I know that we’re not in ideal situation but I am trying to make the most of it.
After having my first scan and seeing our baby, something changed for both of us, before all I could see is problems and obstacles but now I am so excited about having this baby and my DP is over the moon. We recently had the second scan and when I came into work the following day, my colleagues asked about the gender (I was a bit absent minded on that day as my DP was going for an interview that morning – bringing us one step closer to our dream home) and I was so happy to be telling everyone about the baby and the pregnancy. Someone else asked about childcare and I explained that my mum will move with us for a short while. One of my colleagues then made a comment that she would not be able to live with mother or mother in law even if to save money. Then I was asked about whether I was choosing to buy a pram or a pushchair and I just said that all these decisions were so overwhelming I would probably decide closer to time. I then had to leave the office to go to a meeting, but I found out that after me leaving everyone in the office started a big discussion about how much I talked about babies and I wasn’t being productive talking about babies so much and they just couldn’t listen to it anymore.
I know I shouldn’t care but my feelings are hurt, when I found out I just burst into tears, I thought they were asking me because they genuinely wanted to know whilst they’ve been all slagging me off behind my back. This whole thing caused me such a great anxiety I couldn’t sleep at night all weekend and I kept crying.
I know its hormones that are making me emotional but I’ve come over such great adversities (as outlined above) and our lives are by no means perfect, I was just in a happy place carelessly talking about my baby, I was not trying to boast or rub it in people’s faces. They know me and my DP and they should also know that this was not easy for us so why would they be so cruel. Why can’t they just be happy for us? Am I being unreasonable for hating my job now?