WWYD ex refusing to give address and workplace

[Fieryfighter]

I haven't had any child maintenance for over three years, my ex ran his own businesses, earned nothing on paper, was well versed in how to avoid giving me anything yada yada. I have up trying in the end and apart from the occasional payment for music tuition (£35) or the odd pair of trainers he's contributed nothing.

He's finally actually got a job with an actual employer and will be moving away and seeing the kids every other weekend.

We spoke last night as he wanted to discuss how i wanted to go about child maintenance as he would be giving me something after a few months when they're settled and asked "if I had a figure in mind" I know from snippets of what the kids have said (11 and 16) that it's something like 60k and potentially up to 100k if sales go well. I said I had no idea about a figure without knowing his salary which he wouldn't tell me other than it's a base salary with commission on top. He pressed me to name a figure and I said I couldn't and that he hasn't given me anything in over three years then he put the phone down on me.

I don't know how to proceed, I can either attempt to smooth things over and see how much he suggests giving me, I have NO chance of being told how much he earns. Or I can try the child maintenance service but I don't know his new address, his new workplace or anything and I have no chance of getting that. I don't even have his mobile number. I also have no faith after trying with the CSA for years.

Part of me thinks anything is better than nothing but he's got away with so much for so many years whilst I've struggled but would I be on a hiding to nothing if I have no details to give the child maintenance service? And do they take into account commission earnings, if so, how ?

He is never going to pay you properly with an attitude like this. CSA has changed a lot in recent years. I would call them and see what they suggest.

Let the CMS sort it out. They will trace him. As far as I know they count commission.

If he's in sales he will probably be expected to be on linkedin, so he'll be easy to track down through that.

Also to them being able to find him.

Get CSA on the case. If you 'agree' a figure with him it'll be on a cut down salary with no commission. Don't trust him.

I would definitely go through csa. After not paying for 3 years I wouldn't put much trust in him paying in the future.

Definitely CMS. If he is employed they'll be able to find out his salary.

Definitely go through CSA: so long as you know his name and date of birth they'll be able to trace him no problem.

Cms all the way. Theremis no point yrying to do it with him. He has proven he won't pay.

He has a proven track record of contributing as little (to nothing) as he can get away with.

Why would you do anything other than sort this via the CMS?

His name and dob will be enough info for them.

Don't discuss it any further with him on the phone, ask for everything via email and keep copies in case you need them in future.

I had an ex who paid nothing for years. However when he got a job and I told the CMS they said they couldn't do anything until HMRC informed them he was working. This can take at least 6 weeks. So having the employer's name makes no difference really; it's just a waiting game sadly. Hope you hear something soon.

CMS.

Thanks for the replies, I was disillusioned last time I think. I provided the CSA with so much proof that he couldn't possibly be earning what he claimed (i.e zero) and got nowhere.

As soon as he asked if I had a figure in mind I knew this wasn't going to be easy. Think he was trying to see what the least he could get away with was.

Yes I think that's right - you name a figure, he haggles you down, then doesn't actually pay it...

Just stick with the line that you're going to let CMS deal with it.

DEAL WITH THIS PROPERLY. Let CSA do it. Asking ' do you have a figure in mind!' Is shocking.