Appropriate age for children to know and for me to discuss the " mechanics" of reproduction in humans!

[tessieandoz]

Before I even start I have to admit that I am fighting to submerge my own experience of sex education and the way I passed it to my own children. I am Grannie, Age 65 & 1/4

So, a little 8 year old girl, that is the daughter of a friend of mine, announced quite proudly that she " knows how babies are made ".
I said something like " Good for you. How are your 4 times tables coming along . . ." Typical of my generation.

However, in my defence, her little brother aged 4 was there and listening and did not want to get drawn in.

Being fully aware that all children/ people are different , at what age do you all think that it is appropriate to drop the " Mummy's tummy " acting alone and to open discussion to facts?

Also in my defence, I did not investigate if she truly knows " How babies are made "
I do also know that her Mum is the first person I should and will talk to. However, she leans on me for advice so I want to be armed by the
" Power of MUMSNET " ( Think GRAYSKULL if you are old enough )

Age appropriate answers from the moment they first ask.

We read Babbette Cole's 'mummy laid an egg' when they were around 3. The book was left lying around with the other picture books and from time to time they would bring it to me and we'd read and discuss again.

I wouldn't discuss with a child who wasn't mine without knowing the parents' views.

My four year old knows the basic mechanics. 9 and 7 year old know more detail. 2 1/2 year old knows that baby grows in Mummy's tummy and comes out of her lady bits.

My dd's 3 and I've been drip feeding little facts for a few months. I've bought a few books about bodies and the process of conceiving and having a baby and we look at the pictures together and I answer questions she asks. Since I've been pregnant she's started asking more questions. I think explaining young is a good thing as it removes much of the embarrassment factor from both sides. My mum tackled me at about 9yo about the birds and the bees and I can remember being mortified and wishing she'd shut up because I was so embarrassed (besides I already knew the basics by that point from speaking to my friends). As a result, me and my sisters are still funny about talking about personal body stuff with my mum. I didn't want that for my dd.

I don't remember not knowing - my mum must've given me age appropriate answers as I asked from a young age and I expect I asked for more detail as I got older. Consequently I had no embarrassment about talking about sex. My son is 4 and has just started asking where my penis is so I expect the questions will be along soon and I'll answer them properly.

My son is 4 and has just started asking where my penis is so I expect the questions will be along soon and I'll answer them properly

My son has just turned 3 and goes around telling everyone that his mommy has two penises This is following on from him looking between my legs as I got out our shared bath, him seeing my labia I assume and deciding they were penises

I have tried to explain to him numerous times that they aren't penises and only boys/men have penises but he doesn't seem to want to accept it

Just been going through this with my 3.8 yo DS. Hadn't planned to tell him all about but he kept asking very specific questions and DH have always answered his questions in an honest, but age appropriate, way.

Q how are babies made?
A in a mummy's tummy
Q but how?
A a mummy has an egg and a daddy has a seed and when they join together they grow into a baby
Q where does the daddy keep his seed?
A his testicles make the seed and that's where it's kept but only when he's a grown up
Q but how does the seed get to the mummy's egg
A the man puts his penis in the mummy's vagina and it comes out and meets the egg.

DH answered the last 2 questions, completely out of the blue with no build up, he was a bit internally as not expecting to have this conversation for a few years!
I have explained periods to DS since he saw me inserting a tampon. That's along the lines of a ladies tummy makes a soft cushion every month in case a baby is made. If a baby isn't made the cushion comes out and that's called a period. I'm not having my son grow up to be one of those lame men that get freaked out, or disgusted by the mere mention of periods (DH isn't lame in the respect either)

Oh dear, this thread has made me feel like I've entirely dropped the ball. DS is not long off being 7 and has never asked so I've never spoken to him about it, maybe I should!!

My DC asked last week aged 5. I told them pretty much everything (penis in vagina). They have known about how babies are born (vaginal & c section birth) since they asked last year.

For childbirth we talked about it & then watched youtubes of animals being born and worked up to humans.

For reproduction thy just asked at supper and so I told them. Caught me totally on the hop but now they know.

My dd2's favourite book, and the one that taught her to read was 'Mummy laid an egg' which she read obsessively around the age of 6.

Cake I was a little slow on the uptake with my eldest as well, and suddenly had a panic that we really hadn't tackled any of it, bought a few books, got over the embarrassment and it's been fairly straightfoward since then- there are lots of books that cover puberty and sex, easiest to give a book as a starting point I think, then discuss as and when.

i know the MN orthodoxy is to answer questions as they arise. However, DD1 just didn't ask.

We got some books out of the library to explain things when she was 8, as I wanted to give her the key facts BEFORE the insane and incorrect playground rumour mill started (which in our school seemed to really get going at the start of year 5).

dd2 asked at five, was told, and commented "that's disgusting" as she wandered off.

I was 8 or 9 when my mum told us. My 5 year old has asked a few questions and knows the basics of pregnancy but we havent gone into daddy has a seed yet but when she asks will discuss in age appropriate way. I want both children to feel open to ask any questions when they want to and talk about any worries as I didnt really have that openess with my parents. I think we had mechanics discussed once with book and then it was never spoken of again. With the world being very different with internet to when I was a child I want to discuss it as children now have porn more readily available and dont want either of my children growing up with that skewed view as I was to embaressed to talk about it. I think its important to talk about it so children realise its not anything to be embaressed by.

I am questioning the "daddy has a seed" thing. Daddy does not have a seed. It is biologically wrong and the result of patriarchal pseudo-science that we call it that.

If I ever have children, I will tell them how I hand-pollinate my tomato plants and go from there, making it clear that no, the thing daddy has is not seed, and if put in a womb by its own, will never grow into anything. (Granted, I don't think we even have factually correct words for it, but I'd say sperm, and explain that it is more like pollen than like seed)

I think you can tell them as soon as they ask, but definitely before they start school and get the silly rumours.

Ds is 3.6 and his best friend at nursery has a newborn baby brother. He knows that the baby grew in his mummy's tummy and that the doctor's cut a hole to get him out and sewed it back up and that was the same way he grew in my tummy and was got out.
It hasn't occured to him yet to question how the baby got in or any other delivery methods yet! Mind you he has only just figured out that I don't have a penis and as for tampons, he saw me change one asked "is that for your bottom mummy?" accepted it when I said yes and hasn't questioned it again!

My plan is to just deal with further questions as they arise and probably get him a book on human bodies before he starts school next year.

Vestal I see your point about seed but unfortunately I hadn't revised my GCSE biology at the time of DS asking So I think perhaps I need to refresh my knowledge for the next round of toddler interrogations!