About prayers at a supposedly secular school?

[user1494161156]

My husband and I made a conscious decision that we didn't want any religious influence on our kids' schooling. I'm not trying to start an argument about theology or education here, that's just our personal choice and I think it should be respected.

Our kids are four and seven. Both attend a school which is supposedly secular - as in there is no mention of a religious ethos on their website, at open days, etc.

However, my older child has recently informed me that in assembly every morning, they say prayers and sing Christian hymns. AIBU to be completely furious and even shocked by this? I feel like the school completely misrepresented itself by neglecting to mention that there is a heavy Christian influence. The supposedly secular ethos was part of the reason why we chose that school.

We live in an area which is overwhelmingly WASP-y (including my family - my husband and I were both brought up in a Christian culture even if we are not believers), but there are a handful of kids from minority religions at the school and I think it's totally inappropriate that they have to sit through religious teachings that leave them out.
Would it be unreasonable to complain to the school about this? I am genuinely so angry.

TRUE BUT PRIVATE SCHOOLS ARE RIDICULOUSLY TRADITIONAL AND ARE PROBABLY MORE RELIGIOUS THAN A NORMAL STATE SCHOOL. USUALLY THEY HAVE A "CHAPEL" AND SCHOOL PRIEST/VICAR THEY MIGHT NOT MENTION IT BUT I'M SURPRISED YOU WERN'T SHOWN THIS AT OPEN DAYS.

User1243 Please don't shout. Turn off Caps Lock.

If you withdraw your child s/he may be teased about it and no policy, in fact no power on earth can stop it. Don't do it.

I'd be very interested to hear if anybody has seen that happen.

There were children who were excuses from assemblies in both primary schools I went to, and it certainly wasn't a matter for teasing. If anything, we envied them the ability to get out of the crappy prayers and hymn-singing and wishes we could join them!

Haggis I have seen one child teased. So considering the number of schools I have taught in, visited etc it isn't common. In that particular school I believe it was a combination of the class teacher's attitude and the way it was handled in class. This particular child was a jehovah's witness and so didn't want to be in class during Christmas preparations. There was a big song and dance when another child put Christmas songs onto the class stereo , JW child flounced out and seemed to think it was deeply important and special that she got to leave and sit in chair just outside of the door while being laughed at by the other children. Teacher looking on. All very odd.

OP has said its a private school

are the rules the same for private school ?

PS : do not OP do not stress about the hymns.
Compulsory RE in schools is the best way to make them atheists by 18 yet invented

Member of the British Humanist Society here.

Both the BHA and NSS have been campaigning against the law for years. We are a multicultural country and only half of Brits are Christian anyway.

You can withdraw your kids, it's your right, but most don't bother because children don't like to be separated from their friends.

My daughter goes to school with kids of different religions and she is atheist. She just doesn't take part really. She tells me she drifts off to another world in her head. Her mates all fidget through too. The school is a community primary.

Take a look at the NSS and BHA websites for more information.

Society should read Association (stupid me)

Compulsory RE in schools is the best way to make them atheists by 18 yet invented

Couldn't agree more. Was shocked to discover the amount of Jesus going on in state schools but my 2 are very 🙄 about it all by now.

There was a JW child in my class at secondary. We never teased her for not attending RE lessons, we just respected that, that was what she did. We did feel sorry for at times her because her family didn't celebrate birthdays. My DC is a toddler at the moment but if, when she's older, she teased another child re: their beliefs she'd be in trouble with me! (fwiw i'm a Christian).

I think some state schools do as little as they can get away with to comply with law - my secondary school got criticised for not complying with it every time it was inspected. By comparison my state primary school probably did more than it was obliged to - there were a few Christian teachers so that probably influenced things. I now live in a v multicultural area and my DC's nursery does everything - Christmas, Diwali, Eid etc to keep it fair and reflect the beliefs of all the families. As a Christian I have no issue with this. It means she'll, hopefully, have a good basic understanding of the various things people in her community believe and practice.

Ultimately any child is likely to be more influenced by their family's beliefs than anything they're taught in school.

I suppose my only concern is that some of what I was taught about my own beliefs in RE was actually inaccurate as far as I was concerned which did make me wonder about the accuracy of what I was taught about other faiths. As an adult I've had conversations with people of other faiths which have confirmed that they also feel that inaccurate stuff is taught about their beliefs. The best RE lessons I had involved people of a certain faith coming to talk to us ourselves rather than the teacher or a text book telling us about a faith.