WIBU to ask child to stop playing at the top of an escalator?

[Cakedoesntjudge]

Just interested to get some opinions on this really!

Bit of background:
I work in retail in a shop with two floors. There are lifts at the back but the front has a set of stairs with an 'up' escalator next to them. We are forever finding small children messing around at the top with parents nowhere in sight which has led to some pretty horrific accidents so we do now (politely!) ask any children at the top to please not play there as it's dangerous and ask if they need help finding their parents.

Today, a colleague did exactly that with a child (approx age 4/5) he said he was sorry but no he didn't need help, pointed to his mum who was standing about 5 foot away and said he wasn't lost. In fairness to his mum, she wouldn't have seen he was messing around at the top of the escalator as she was facing the shelf away from him. I was working nearby and the colleague came over to talk to me and another colleague I was working with. Within seconds the child was back there again. The other colleague we were with went over and did the same again - I was within earshot and at no time was my colleague rude. She didn't raise her voice, she wasn't stern, she literally said "please don't play at the top of the escalator it's really dangerous and you could get hurt." She then came straight back. A minute later the mum marches up to us and starts yelling that she is his mum and she is perfectly capable of telling him off herself.

Me and one of the other colleagues are both mums to 6yo boys and both hold the opinion that if our children were misbehaving without our knowledge we'd be perfectly ok for any adult who noticed to ask them to stop (obviously wouldn't be amused if they went OTT) but I know some people are sensitive to this and see it differently. So I replied saying "I'm sorry you were offended, we apply this to all children we find at the top of the escalators as we've seen a number of pretty horrible accidents and we would hate for that to happen when one of us could have prevented it"

She spoke over me just continually aggressively shouting "I'm his mother" and eventually stormed off. We all just went back to work and didn't think anything of it. She put in a complaint to one of our supervisors who tried to bollock us all separately for being rude. We all just explained to him what happened and said we stuck by what we'd said. He then pulled our store manager into the situation who said he completely backed us on it. Just interested to see what the general consensus is for future reference! I'm torn - I can see her point about it being her job to tell him off but I also think we're right for stopping children from playing there from what we've seen happen before.

Yes, i would and do tell kids to be careful in this type of situation. I'm one of those nosey old hags.

Of course YNBU. It's also his Mum's job to stop him playing there in the first place, she wasn't doing that bit was she!?

Ywdnbu. The mother was out of order in reacting the way she did. Sounds like she felt guilty that she hadn't kept a closer eye on her child. If I were in her shoes, I'd be slightly embarrassed that my child had been warned away more than once, but grateful to staff for keeping him safe. I'm amazed she had the effrontery to complain!

People's behaviour at the top of escalators drives me a bit mad. You get folk who get to the top then stop to look around or decide to have a chat. Where do they think people are going to go - straight through them?

Have some cards printed that say:

Please take a minute to google "child escalator accident" to understand why the staff in this shop ask parents to supervise children near escalators.

Hand them out to antsy parents.

I would rather have a 100 complaints from people annoyed I asked their child to stop playing at the top of the escalator than have 1 child fall and hurt themselves!!

Sure it's her place. Just like it's her place to actually watch her damn kid and make sure they're not in a dangerous situation 🙄 Silly cow. (Her not you)
Don't get me wrong my 3yr old legs it sometimes but if a member of staff told him not to do something and I found out about it that two people had spoken separately to him, I'd be over like a shot to them- to apologise and have ds say sorry for not bloody well behaving and doing as he was told!

YANBU
My ds is a lifeguard and told a little girl off for being in the deep end when she couldnt swim.
A few minutes later a fully dressed Mum came in and had a go at him , saying he should have come and found her to talk to her not and spoken to her children.
He was supposed to abandon his post to find her

I think you did entirely the right thing if indeed the child was playing dangerously. If the mother was not actively with him then she wasn't fully supervising even if she thought it was safe. I think for me in situations where a random person has decided to intervene, I've only become annoyed when they've insisted that I'm wrong and that their assessment of the situation is far superior to mine. Though obviously I'm not talking about playing on escalators here.

Yanbu , this is my friends daughter.
www.google.co.uk/amp/www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/primark-fall-girl-evie-parry-3417781.amp

Ywnbu but I think it would be best to tell the mother rather than the child if that was an option.

Your Supervisor is BU!

No investigation before accusation? Supervisor is not doing their job properly.

Mother is equally stupid.

Yanbu, I love it when other people tell my kids off - they looked instantly shocked and behave straight away!!

YANBU. What if you hadn't dared to say anything and the child had hurt himself. I agree 100% with madamepomfrey

I think you were right, however, I constantly have people telling my dd how to behave. It's because they think I'm a young mum (I'm not, I just look younger than I am). So they think they're helping or they think I'm irresponsible. It is so annoying and also insulting. So I kind of understand her reaction (if she has experienced this frequently) but that doesn't excuse the complaint to your managers. She did enough shouting at you (which is ott anyway). she needs to realise you're just doing your job!

YWNBU. My son has been told a few times by staff (always at H&M) for playing near the escalators - I turn round to look at clothes and he's gone over to them - and I've always backed them up and told him to keep away.

Who would the mum be blaming if her child was injured and staff had stood there and watched it happen because they're not allowed to tell kids to keep away.

I'm glad your boss backed you up.

I do it at my own place of work quite frequently, also I am quite happy to tell children not to run up the down escalator and vice versa, and to stand on the steps and not swing from them.

YANBU and your supervisor should have backed you up

YANBU. An adult friend of mine had severe injuries and permanent scarring from tripping over on an escalator. They looked like a bear or werewolf had clawed their face and it was brutually painful and mentally horrifying.

YANBU

I work in a supermarket on the customer service desk. The way our store is laid out, you walk in and directly to the left is me at the CSD and the cigarette kiosk, then about 4ft in front of our desk are 2 support pillars then another few feet and then the large flower stand. The area between the pillars and the flower stand is the main thoroughfare out of the store from the checkout exits.

I don't know how many times a day I have to tell children "Be careful there boys/girls, it's quite busy round here and I wouldn't want you getting run over!" because while mum or dad is in the queue for cigarettes, they are running in and out of the support pillars or running laps round the flower stand ... often directly into the path of customers with trolleys piled high with packed bags, so they can't always see the 4yo shoot out from behind a pillar into the front of their trolley. Nine out of ten times, mum or dad just haven't noticed that they're in danger or how much they're in the way and they will call their kids back and tell them to stop messing around, but there's always that one "free range" parent who objects to us stopping their little darling from doing whatever they want.

There's one "free range" parent who regularly came into our store with her 4 and 6 year old boys ... they would run wild and she'd just let them. It was a particularly busy day and she was waiting at the desk and her little angels were tripping each other up and sprawling over the floor and constantly causing backups of customers who couldn't get past them until they moved, which she totally ignored. Eventually one of them nearly got run over and I had had enough and I politely said "Boys, please come and play over here by the desk, it's dangerous to be running round by the flowers because it's getting busy now and I don't want you getting hurt" well the mother lost it and had a total meltdown - how dare I tell her kids what to do, she was their mother and she said it was fine blahblahblah - which only stopped when she heard a bloodcurdling scream from one of her angels, who had been lying under the flower stand, sticking his hand out to catch his brother's legs as he ran around ... only to get his fingers crushed under a heavy trolley because the customer was trying to avoid crashing into the running child (who then tripped and crashed into one of the pillars) and moved their trolley out of the way, on to the other boy's hand because couldn't see him.

She then started screaming about suing us for their injuries and how this was a terrible store etc. Security came over to check the little boys out and administer first aid and basically told her "You can try suing us if you like, but your children were out of control, in a place they shouldn't have been and we have video evidence of one of our staff warning them of the danger of injury if they didn't move, and when they ignored that they got hurt so good luck with that!" Unsurprisingly we haven't seen her since then!

Well that's a relief - was half expecting that I'd be told I'd completely overstepped!

AndNowItIsSeven I remember hearing that in the news! I'm so glad she's doing so well bless her heart.

Asuitablemum I do actually completely agree with you and if I'd gone over instead of my other colleague I would have done that. It's one thing to do it not knowing who the parent was, it's a bit different once you know. In her defence, we do come across a lot of parents who couldn't care less what their kids are doing but I still think it's worth a try first!

To those of you who've picked up on our supervisor being unreasonable - he's got form for being a complete arse and consequently none of us respect him all that much or take him that seriously. Other managers would have 100% come and explained the complaint and asked for our version of events first.

Etak15 I've noticed that too when my DS was younger 😂 - grandma telling him off also used to leave him questioning everything he knew about life considering she's normally wrapped around his finger!

All in all - thank you for setting my mind at rest! I will carry on as I am then!

Melj - completely agree. I know how easily some kids can slip away from parents (I did it all the time when I was younger, was constantly wandering off in a world of my own, my poor mum!!) so I don't judge that but we do have a few regulars who see us as an alternative form of childcare - one mum's kids (all under say 8/9) are regularly playing 'chase' normally on a different floor to her at full pelt around the store. I've given up telling them that one day they'll run into someone.

The threat of being sued is probably what keeps the store manager on our side with it- we did have a parent attempt to sue us after an incident with an unchaperoned toddler who was (thankfully!) ok in the end. No idea if it went through or not but it definitely made him more receptive to us stopping children playing at the top of the stairs/escalators. I'm not as bothered about the company being sued, it just terrifies me after witnessing a few of them fall when we haven't got there in time. It's horrid!

After the first time, I'd have taken him back to his mum and told her that store policy was children couldn't be unattended near escalators.

How satisfying, @melj1213 ! Do you know if you could have actually got this customer banned?

@Cakedoesntjudge not at all U! As others have said, you were clearly needed to keep the child safe (and if you failed, you needed to have covered your arses about the hazard in your shop!). Very bad practice of that manager to try to overrule you!

YANBU - If you work in the store then you have every right to implement rules and make sure there are no health and safety issues. If her son had an accident she would probably try and sue the store.

Don't worry about the woman having a go at you, I used to work in retail and it becomes pretty apparent that some people think they can talk to you like shit.

You and your colleagues did the right thing. His mum wasn't doing her job properly to keep him safe and you did it for her. Can't believe she had the nerve to complain!