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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I may have a slight shopping addiction

43 replies

lavenderdaisyrose · 06/05/2017 18:47

I haven't had much money for a while, but I really genuinely did need summer clothes so just decided to sod it stick it on a credit card and worry later.

I've done so, but I felt so amazing as I was shopping today not having to angst over the cost of stuff, just buying pretty frivolous stuff i wanted!

is this normal? Shouldn't I be getting confidence from myself not shoes and makeup and clothes?

OP posts:

AteRiri · 06/05/2017 20:55

Probably missing the point, but why do people buy expensive candle?

NoSquirrels · 06/05/2017 20:57

The thing is, OP, it would "feel amazing" to buy what you like without worrying about money - everyone would love that, guaranteed to get endorphins flowing.

But as you're not really in that position- you couldn't afford to spend without worrying about it (even if the worry is "later") then it's nit a trustworthy feeling...

user1493022461 · 06/05/2017 20:59

I don't understand how shopping can make you feel amazing, and I certainly don't get how anyone can enjoy spending money they don't have.
A thousand pounds on clothes in one day?

ImperialBlether · 06/05/2017 21:02

I think people go a little bit mad when they're shopping like this on a credit card. It's as though the money's not real. It's so easy to get out of control. Take those things back, OP!

And sorry, if you can afford £250 a month repayment, why use your credit card anyway?

AnathemaPulsifer · 06/05/2017 21:06

Dress from Hobbs. Shoes from Jones the bootmakers. L'Octane candle, bath foam, hand wash, body lotion. Clarins and Chanel makeup.

That's just bonkers. Incredibly irresponsible to put stuff like that on credit card. What if your car breaks down, your boiler breaks or you lose your job?

I do get a high from shopping, but as with most addictive experiences I'm very wary of it and keep it under control.

WitchesGlove · 06/05/2017 21:08

Wow OP!

I would get too knackered going round the shops to do that in one go!

CamdenTownie · 06/05/2017 21:09

Hi Op

I'm Not going to lecture you on your expensive taste in make up, I do feel that shopping lifts my mood massively, but I love shopping and I also think that I have a problem, buying anything makes me happy, even shopping in Asda or Home Bargains!

I can't walk into any shop without buying something- even if I don't need anything 😬

IonaNE · 06/05/2017 21:22

It wasn't just clothes.
Yes, we know. It was candles, make-up... and other sh|t no one really needs, though you might want it...

Anyway, you have your clothes I have mine
Wrong. I have my clothes - yours belong to the bank, so you don't actually have them.

Filofanny · 06/05/2017 21:27

I think you have a screw loose honestly.

Why would you want to spend so much on clothes for work? Personally I would spend the least I could while looking smart, otherwise you're basically working to pay for your 'uniform'. As for the expensive make up, so many of the cheaper brands make incredible dupes. Make up bloggers write brilliant posts comparing them. Also either Lidl or Aldi recently sold a candle that favourably compared to a really expensive Jo Malone one, and Aldi sold twin packs of Molton Brown lookalikes where you got 300ml bottles of both shower gel AND body lotion for £2.50. I love Molton Brown, and have the products they were copies of, and they don't smell quite the same, but are lovely.

I'm really struggling to believe anyone is this frivolous. £250 a month is all very well, until something happens like your washing machine or car break down. I've never had a credit card as I saw friends get into awful situations, but I really like 'saving up' for things. I get a lot of pleasure from it.

CreamCheez · 06/05/2017 21:29

1,000 in one go on a credit card? Thing is, it feels amazing as a one off... But, you're so gonna want that feeling again.

Tazerface · 06/05/2017 21:38

I fell into this trap and now owe £25k. I am just about managing to pay it back on a monthly basis.

It's so easy to spend and not easy to pay back. My advice would be try and return as much as you possibly can, and then pay off as a priority.

What's done is done, do damage limitation but DON'T just think 'just this once won't matter'. It does.

Original poster

lavenderdaisyrose · 06/05/2017 21:44

Oh, it was stupid I won't lie but I am still feeling euphoric from it. I won't be doing it again but just the same that feeling of sheer happiness is one I've never had before exactly.

OP posts:

HicDraconis · 06/05/2017 21:50

It feels amazing because you're used to having to scrimp and save. The "high" of not having to worry about money comes from having had to worry before.

However, to pay for that high you will have to spend the next 6 months chipping away at your credit card bill. Unless it's on an interest free period you'll be spending far more on the interest than you would have done had you spent 4 months being frugal, saving £250 a month with the deliberate intention of a shopping spree at the end. The mood lift goes quickly and then there is half a year of lower mood because you can't afford anything else fun while you have the card bill to pay off. Unless you pay £250 on the card and then put another £250 on it, which will see you sliding slowly into further debt.

You also find (at least I did!) that it's easier to spend money you don't have with the intention of paying it back than money which has been worked for, saved and is already yours. When you're spending your carefully saved "summer clothing cash" you make much more considered choices about what you buy and often end up spending less.

Yes, shopping lifts many peoples' moods. We are a materialistic society and new pretty "stuff" is a feelgood for lots of people, me included. The catch is that feeling good lasts a few hours and paying it back lasts months.

I suggest you clear the debt as fast as possible to reduce the interest, then put your £250 a month aside in a savings account. When you've got to £750, go and enjoy a guilt free shopping trip for your winter wardrobe.

NoSquirrels · 06/05/2017 21:51

But that is PRECISELY how addictions start, OP.

Oh I know it was stupid - think if the risks I took - but that heroin high was like nothing I'd ever experienced before ... and it's not physically addictive, I'm in total control...

ImperialBlether · 06/05/2017 21:56

You are describing an addictive feeling, OP. You could be describing heroin.

If you keep the candles etc you're an idiot. You couldn't afford to buy them and you'll be paying it off for years to come.

Umpteenthnamechange · 07/05/2017 15:07

If this is at all real then you are a fool OP. Thank goodness I am not you.

Xmasbaby11 · 07/05/2017 15:14

I know what you mean. I bought a few new tops and trousers and a pair of shoes last month and felt really happy. But I only spent about £200 and didn't have to put it on credit card. I've been wearing my new things a lot and feeling good from it, so I think I made good decisions.

I think what you've done is fine as long as that will keep you going until you've paid it off. It's really not worth getting into debt for posh candle though.

ProfessorBranestawm · 07/05/2017 15:17

That's a terrifying amount to spend, how do you know you won't do it again

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