HELP - I am going to a Muslim funeral this afternoon - Saturday

[Moussemoose]

Posting in AIBU for traffic
A male friend died - I'm gutted. He was a Muslim, the funeral is this afternoon I feel like I should go but have no idea what to expect.
Obviously I will dress appropriately. All our mutual friends are male, my male partner has offered to come but I'm going to be on my own aren't I?

So sorry for your loss, I hope you aren't too devastated. Your life is richer for having know n your friend.

Oh well. Here goes. I've found some appropriate clothing and I'm heading out. Thankyou all so much for the handhold this morning.

But fucking, fucking fuck. Just gutted. Fuck.

OK well that was an experience.
I got there and went up the back stairs to the ladies area. Took my shoes off. I was soon spotted as an 'outsider' but was welcomed warmly. The women were kind and supportive I met his mother and we cried together and she comforted me! I was made to feel welcomed and wanted.

Then I went to look downstairs and realised the windows were frosted with only little squares of clear glass. His mother was watching his funeral through tiny squares of clear glass. I was deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

The women could not have been kinder. We shared loss woman to woman and cried together, we talked about our sons. There were no barriers and then I had to peek through frosted glass.

My head is all over the place and I want to sleep and cry for a year but there was some stuff that I am really finding difficult.

I'm sorry about your friend but I'm glad the women were kind to you. Have cry and a sleep

Sorry for your loss. Glad you managed to go and found your way around ok, I imagine it was a bit daunting.

As a previous posts said muslim funerals are a bit different, not so much a celebration of the persons life or sharing stories about them. It is a bit more about practicalities very much praying then burial.

People pay their respects seperately- often at family home but places are hired if space is an issue in the days around the death. Often there will be an event about 40 days later with a meal.

It can be hard to know what you family will do as it varies across cultures, as well as diffrent communities and then even within family differences.

Thanks for coming back on and telling us how it went. I am sure you were a comfort to his mother. Although you weren't able to be involved much, you were there.

Must have been hard on his mother but it beingher religion I would guess she knew what to expect?