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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my children to their dads, sell up and travel the world

29 replies

Gomango · 06/05/2017 02:00

I am wide awake waiting foe eldest DS to come in. Dealt with middle DD and friends earlier on alcohol involved.
Of course neither answer their phones when all this going on.
Livid yet again.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 06/05/2017 02:04

Teenagers? Just remmeber this (phase) too shall pass. You got through the terrible twos.

YoureSparticus · 06/05/2017 02:57

How many Dads are involved?

Grilledaubergines · 06/05/2017 03:16

youre well it could be a missing apostrophe. Or it could be more than one. Who knows, and not important.

Going through the teen stuff now OP, and it's tough. Sympathies.

YoureSparticus · 06/05/2017 03:54

I think it's important. If there's a single father then the "shipping off" could be arranged much more easily. 3 children with 3 different fathers takes more organisation.

MsJamieFraser · 06/05/2017 05:40

YourSparticus

How on earth is that relevant Hmm

Teenagers OP

Sammysilver · 06/05/2017 05:58

It's relevant on a practical level as it could mean siblings being split into different households which may have a huge impact on them. However I get the impression from the OP that this is more about her exasperation of dealing with the teenage years.

MythicalChicken · 06/05/2017 06:00

Why don't you take them with you? There is a brilliant Facebook group called 'Worldschoolers'. Basically families (including single parents) who have sold up and travelled the world with their kids.

I am seriously considering this...

Sammysilver · 06/05/2017 06:08

That would be defeating the whole object.

emesis · 06/05/2017 06:12

How do these Worldschoolers make money to pay for all the traveling? Genuine question.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/05/2017 06:12

They're teenagers, they're designed to make your life hell. Sounds like an enticing idea. What's the plan when you retire if you don't own your home? What about using some savings (if you have any), renting it out and working your way around?

It actually sounds more like you've had enough right now. Perhaps for now send them to their dads for a break instead? Regain some perspective.

peripateticparents · 06/05/2017 06:14

We sold up and are travelling with 3 kids Grin. No teenagers though. Problems are more along the lines of getting a taxi with car seats rather than making sure they're back home from Vegas strip with their faculties and wallets intact. I feel for you, OP ... I hope things get better sooner rather than later.

YoureSparticus · 06/05/2017 06:36

Ms Hmm JamieFraser

It's relevant for the exact reason I gave and others suggested. The practicalities of getting the dad(s) to have the children.

emesis

There are two kind-of-worldschoolers at my school as in they'll stay for a couple of years before moving on. They do it this way as it allows the benefits of travelling with an acknowledgement that Home Ed. fails for most children.

They do it the way we would do it, by being really, really, really wealthy Grin One family I knew of sold a London house for 1.2m and we able to easily live of this along side a little remote work. One parent was a writer for Reader's Digest and could email and skype, the other a freelance graphics designer. As long as they each had a computer and internet, they could supplement their 'pot'.

MythicalChicken · 06/05/2017 06:49

How do these Worldschoolers make money to pay for all the traveling? Genuine question.

Some sell up, some rent out their properties whilst they're away, some work remotely, some take up any work they can wherever they end up.

I have a small business and my ridiculously naive and probably unworkable plan, is for the business to do well and for the manufacturers to ship directly to the distributors and for them to ship directly to the customers. Meaning that I can work remotely on marketing, etc. Which I can do from Bali anywhere.

Original poster
Gomango · 06/05/2017 07:00

He just came in still drunk. He was meant to be working today helping a friend, the cash to go towards his car insurance.
I have told him to go sit in my car and will be packing his things. Enough is enough.
Same dad!

OP posts:
NeverTwerkNaked · 06/05/2017 07:15

Hmm they just sound like normal teenagers!! Chucking them out sounds extreme.

WomblingThree · 06/05/2017 07:18

NeverTwerkNaked they have two parents. Making the other parent take over the responsibility and residency is hardly the same as throwing them on the streets.

YoureSparticus · 06/05/2017 07:18

How old is the child?

You're kicking them out and treating living with their father as a punishment?

What will their two younger siblings think about that?

Do you use being kicked out to live with their father as a threat?

NeverTwerkNaked · 06/05/2017 07:21

I fully appreciate that wombling and I am separated from my kids dad so I get the "two homes" thing.
Still doesn't make it ok. Teenagers get drunk and come in late; chucking them out is extreme.

cittigirl · 06/05/2017 07:21

Is it only me that thinks the thread title is tongue in cheek?

NeverTwerkNaked · 06/05/2017 07:21

It's wrong on so many levels to "punish" a child by sending them to their other parent.

NeverTwerkNaked · 06/05/2017 07:22

@cittigirl have you seen ops update tho? (I assumed it was tongue in cheek too till then!)

WomblingThree · 06/05/2017 07:27

My teenagers don't get drunk and come in late. Neither do thousands of others. It depends how long it's been an issue and how many times OP has put up with it.

I still don't see why sending a child to live with its other parent is automatically a punishment. It could just be that it's time the other parent stepped up and shared some of the shit.

Eatingcheeseontoast · 06/05/2017 07:29

Best thing about two homes us both parent and child get to think about things with a bit of space. Seems reasonable if at end of tether.

Going off round the world a bit more extreme...but always tempting....

NeverTwerkNaked · 06/05/2017 07:33

Mine are still at the CBeebies stage but I can't imagine teenage life has changed that much in 20 years Wombling ???

I'd have thought the key to coping with separated parents as an adolescent is always feeling that both parents houses are your home. Not that they can push you out each time you do something they disapprove of.

midsummabreak · 06/05/2017 07:33

Keep a cool head
we feel your pain and know how shit it is , however,
...you will very likely cause an emotional rift between you and your son by refusing to live with him
kids love unconditionally
they are not doing it to annoy the crap out of you, they are doing it to experience a different side of life, and teens often make rash decisions they may regret later
Very understandable to be furious but can you not go to his Dads for a Deep and Meaningful discussion about his behaviour...
Show him how you ant him to behave when he is bloody annoyed
It is oK to be annoyed, but please consider long term consequences of any rash decisions about living arrangements and kicking kids out of their home

Do u really want to send him away and refuse to live with him?
He is actually not alone in his behaviour, and will share stories of messing up and annoying the crap out parent with his friends no doubt... but are you sure you want to refuse to live with him
Many of us have been in your sons shoes
I t is part of being a teenager to break at least some of the rules and stretch the boundaries, and I know it is crap being on receiving end, waiting up, not knowing why they haven't texted back, where they are, if they are safe....I too have a DS making poor choices at present Very very stressful
think again