Hi all
I have never posted anything on a site before but don't know where to turn
My husband of 30 years and I separated briefly last September as I found out by accident ( cookies left on his phone ) that he had been on lots of hook up sites stating he was single and signing pop ups for pics
He hasn't met anyone ( I know this as he never goes out alone ...neither do I)
He was also letching after other women on internet games i.e. Chess etc just creepy things like saying sorry I lost the game but at least I could admire your beauty whilst we played ( I find this creepy anyway)
He also started playing words with friends and spoke to a young woman in America for about 4 months over 3 years ago (. Found this out because he told me about this as he said he wanted a clean start with no secrets or lies ) apparently she was early 20s he is 50
I wanted him out of the house when I discovered the lies etc and he did leave although he phoned texted and kept calling round every day for the 3 months he wasn't living here
He says he doesn't know why he did any of this ...that it was just a game and meant nothing and that he would do anything to change things
He has lost a lot of weight 4 1/2 stones and looks terrible so I know he is sorry
He signed the house over to me and has said he will do anything go anywhere etc if I will just be with him even if I can't love him anymore
The problem is it I can not get over the lies or betrayal especially as when these things were happening I was very ill with what was diagnosed as IBS in fact it turned out after I dem Andes a scan I had ovarian tumours which fortunately were benign
I keep trying to move on tell myself he wasn't physically unfaithful but I can't get over the hurt
I feel broken and as if my world has been shattered
I don't know what to do
I loved him deeply from the day we met and have done for the 30 years together but feel I want it to be over
When I tell him he breaks down and says he wishes he was dead ...that he needs and loves me and regrets everything
Please help ... my mind is not thinking correctly 😢😢😢