Problem Neighbour thinks we're the problem!

[SnowInNovember]

DH and I have moved into a housing association property (ground floor flat) with our 10 week old DD and dog.

Our next door neighbour approached me in the local shop and said 'I hear you've met (let's call her) Sally'. I didn't have a clue what she meant and she proceeded to tell me that Sally (the person in the flat directly above us) had told her she had shouted at me in the street! I was baffled by this as no one has done anything if the sort and I don't know Sally at all!

Since then I have received messages on Facebook messenger from Sally on a few occasions that have been 'nicey nicey' about her not wanting to be a nuisance but can we please stop slamming doors/talking loudly/banging cupboards. The walls are thin and I apologised on each occasion for disturbing her, even though I know we don't make that much noise and have previously lived in properties with thin walls with no issues.

We made a huge effort not to make a noise as I was getting quite anxious about it and after 8pm pretty much tiptoed around the flat, I couldn't relax. We're not noisy people (we'd be waking DD if we made the amount of noise she's claiming to be disturbed by!)

Tonight I broke a glass by accident and the dog nearly trod on it, DH luckily saw and said 'no' loudly before he hurt himself. Next thing we know there's a massive banging on the ceiling, so loud it woke DD and started the dog off barking which he very rarely does! Sally then messages me saying she's reported us to the HA for the noise as it's 'beyond a joke' and that we 'obviously don't care' despite all of my previous messages apologising/trying to be nice.

Spoke to the previous tenants who said they had the same problem (they had 2 small children) and said she banged nearly every night at then.

Should I report her to the HA? Do something else? DH made me take screenshots of all the messages and block her. I just can't relax at home and am worried especially by what the other neighbour said, as Sally is obviously the kind of person who goes around shouting st others (I hate confrontation!)

*Hear not here!

She tried to get you on the back foot because you're new. She sounds controlling. Hope it works out for you.

I really feel for you - my downstairs neighbour is exactly the same and bangs on the ceiling about absolutely everything.

Start keeping a diary so you've got it there to hand to housing officer to back up your claims, but definitely report it. You can't be expected to live like this.

It sounds as though the previous tenants might have been driven out by her

Report to the HA and keep a log of what you were doing each and every time she bangs or contacts you to match her version of events to yours.

10.31pm neighbour banged on floor when TV programme went to adverts (sound got louder outside our control)

12.16pm 10 week old daughter was crying for 2 minutes. Neighbour banged on floor and she jumped and cried for 10 more minutes.

Etc.

How on earth did she find you on facebook?!

First of all, block her from that, then report her to the HA. You've got to accept some level of noise when living in a flat. I used to live in a ground floor flat when I first had DD and I used to hear the neighbour upstairs go for a wee in the middle of the night the walls were that thin!

Nip that shit in the bud OP before it gets even worse. Our new neighbour did and we all gave them the benefit of the doubt but now they just both act like lord and lady of the street.

Please do report her. I work in Property Management, though private housing and not HA, and we need to know about things like this so there is a record and we see patterns.

You're entitled to make reasonable noise and usually there will be a covenant in the least for your flat which states the times when noise is acceptable (eg, between 8 am and 11pm), so fair enough if noise was audible from outside your flat outside of those times but it sounds like it isn't and the woman needs to get a grip and come to terms with the fact that noise is part of communal living/living in a block of flats.

Keep a note of all incidents and report her and stop bloody tip toeing around your own home, live like you normally would and don't pander to the silly mare.

Want to borrow my saxophone to practice with?

Report. Keep a log of all communication - dates, details, etc.

Don't tiptoe any more.

Like many previous posters, I suspect she drove out the previous tenants.

I was wondering how she found you on Facebook too. None of my neighbours would be able to do that to me nor I to them. Especially as it came so soon after you moved in

Just report them yourself to you housing officer.

Toysaurus it's an immediate sign of a nosey neighbour to me as it's obvious they've been snooping. You dont happen to be on the electoral role do you? If you are try and get the hidden one where they can't find you in a public search. I didn't even know I wasn't hidden as asked until a family member text me asking for my address to send a birthday card, five minutes later "its okay now. I've found you on the ER".

I have a facebook nosey neighbour. I wsdnt ill when I moved here and I've been trying to get out ever since. I put I was looking for an exchange on a spotted page so an anonymous page, I didn't exactly say "I live at 20 pixies lane and I'm looking to move" so it wasn't obvious obvious. A month or so later I got talking to the neighbour, just a passing the time of day convo when they said "oh yeah. I heard you were looking to move"

Yes I'm hidden on the ER. How eye opening that neighbours would do this and so quickly! I'm very antisocial and try to avoid my neighbours. But that's best where we live.

Reminds me of an episode of 'nightmare neighbour'. The elderly lady kept complaining about excess noise all day and night. Turns out she had her radio on the whole time, and she didn't even know . Poor neighbour had months of the accusations!
You've done the right thing contacting the HA, just ignore her now. Make as much noise as you wish, it's your home, you shouldn't have to tiptoe about. Hope it improves for you OP.

Thanks - glad to know I'm not the only one who's had this problem (not that I'd wish it on anyone - you know what I mean hopefully!)

Not worried about her finding me on Facebook, we live in a really small community and I once worked at the same organization as her but in a different department, only knew of her vaguely as an acquaintance, (not enough to say hello to her or anything in the street). We've probably got loads of mutual friends etc.

Am looking forward to the HA's response tomorrow!

Not saying this is relevant to the OP but in Mr Heckles case the noise was unbearable. 6 people people walking about with shoes all times of day and night on a wooden floor made a noise and made him miserable. Keep a record of all noise, not just what they complain about so you've got a record if it goes further. Do you hear any noise from her or other neighbours?

I can hear her walking about, running water, flushing the loo etc. Just normal noise, doesn't bother me. We always take our shoes off in the house, try and keep our voices down in the evening, DH always has headphones in when on the computer and I only have tv on at a volume I can barely hear myself! Main issue is 'door slamming abs cupboards banging'... doors are never slammed but closed quietly, one does squeak despite us oiling it (its the toilet door, so no chance of not using it!) but have reported it to the HA and the others make a small degree of sound (be it a click or a normal door closing noise).

I've experienced something similar, with a neighbour below complaining about any type of noise, including just closing quietly the front door or when I double locked it at night! He contacted the Council (it was a Council block, I was a leaseholder) numerous times about it, the first time the housing officer left me a card with a request to call her, and explained that he'd complained, so I moved the TV to another corner of the room had stopped listening to the radio in the kitchen. I always took my shoes off and stopped having friends over. Then he started to put abusive notes through my door, and I ended up complaining about him! The Council eventually took action against him as he was clearly unreasonable and harassing me. It started again a few months later but DP (6ft 4 & scouse) moved in, and he stopped.

I would talk to the HA to give your side.

I WOULDN'T be so sure that she's just moaning for the sake of it, or that you're as quiet as you think. Having been on both sides of noise disputes before, I know there are usually exaggerations on one side and minimising on the other.