DH called DS thick. I did not react well

[Pleasedontbelikeme]

DH and I are highly educated. DS (from my first marriage) in his 20s, was borderline SEN at school. I was told he was bad, but not bad enough to get a statement. He is an adult now, holds down a job in retail and has a lovely girlfriend. Tonight, after a few beers, DH described DS and his girlfriend as thick. I said, "that's my son you're talking about. I'd rather live with him than you. He's easier to live with, more helpful, and not such a nasty person. Do you want a divorce?" AIBU?

Yanbu. Your DS sounds like someone you a rightfully proud of.

Your 'D' H sounds like he needs a massive shake! what an awful thing to say.

Possible extenuating circumstances. FIL is terminally ill, not long left. Obviously, this is having a big effect on DH. This is one reason why I am questioning my reasonability. But, honestly, this is not the first time he's been so crass. I am 85% convinced her has undiagnosed Asperger's

Not everyone needs a diagnosis. Sometimes people are just arses. My stepdad used to love going on about how stupid I was - nothing wrong with him - pure bastardry.

I'm going to go against the grain here. I think it was a pretty shitty thing to say and certainly worth some harsh words but "do you want a divorce?" Where the fuck did that come from?
Either it is what you want and it just burst out or you are being a bit bloody dramatic which considering your update is worse behaviour imo than your dh.

I genuinely think DH may have Asperger's though. I do often wonder why I tolerate him. Maybe it's love, or perhaps I just don't like change (possibly on the spectrum myself? )

Which bit is worse, cas?

DH and I both have degrees and managed to produce kids with SN. One is extremely delayed - functioning as a pre-schooler although on the verge of starting secondary delayed. "Thick" doesn't even enter our minds about him because, oddly enough, he comes across as extremely observant, even though he doesn't understand social norms.

I reserve the term "thick" for people who are apparently wilfully ignorant or obtuse - a bit like your DH.

And DH's dad died last year and he managed not to turn it on the boys.

I'd be seriously thinking about divorcing my husband if he said that about either of our kids in such a nasty way (and one of them isn't even biologically mine she's his!)

I meant that he is dealing with losing his dad and said a really horrible thing but instead of just calling him on and. making him realise how offended she was the OP immediately offers a divorce?
It just seems rather odd behaviour to me and I think if my dh was a bit drunk and in that situation I wouldn't be throwing that in his face for a shitty comment that he probably would never make under different circumstances

That's a rotten thing to say, and being highly educated isn't the be all and end all. There are lots of measures of success and your son sounds to be very happy.

I would seriously be considering any future with a "man" like this