Am I just...?

[Sadandbitter]

All my siblings are extremely upbeat, positive people. They all have very nice lives and are constantly sending me photos of their wonderful holidays, parties, hobbies, pets, etc etc They never moan; they are always happy.
I also have a nice life, but, because of family issues, do not have the same level of freedom as them, and don't get to travel as much or do as many fun, sociable things. I have been on anti-depressants for years and suffer from more or less constant low-level depression and loneliness.
AIBU to feel fed up with the constant barrage of 'Look how wonderful my life is' from all of them or am I just a sad and bitter person?

How are they sending you these photos? Email or Whatsapp?

Do they engage with you in person? Are they interested in your life?

You can switch Whatsapp notifications off. That might help.

I think yabu. What is wrong with sharing happy times with our nearest and dearest ?

What is wrong is that you don't feel any of their happiness because you are struggling.

How about you use this to motivate yourself?

Thanks for your comments. I have actually turned my phone off this afternoon, but when I turn it on again, I'll have to say something. I'm defo going to turn off Whatsapp notifications. Ironically, I set up the Whatsapp group when one of my siblings was very ill, but am regretting it now!

I do chat with them regularly (we live in different countries), but have never felt they are very interested in my life, particularly when I have had difficult times over the past few years.

I agree that sharing happy times with your family is great, but I also feel that to really connect, you should also be able to share not so happy times. I just feel it's all very one-sided, and as I am not one to show off, I tend not to send them loads of pictures when I am away, as I never feel they are very interested.

I'm not sure they can motivate me as I am unable to do all the things they do because of family commitments, and they know that.

I think I probably am being unreasonable, but it comes from years of feeling like I'm the odd one out, and have to always be happy and smiley with them even when I don't feel it.

I think its your depression talking. I felt similarly when I was depressed.

I'm sure you're right. Unfortunately, whilst I do have a depressive personality, I also have issues in my life that contribute to my depression. At the moment, and for the foreseeable future, I'm stuck with these issues.
My siblings know about some of my problems, but not all. Some things I can't share with them. Even when I've tried, they have not been very supportive, and then have never asked me about the subject again.
I feel very lonely and have no-one to confide in. Writing about it makes me realise how stuck I am, but I can't see any solution other than to carry on each day.
Having such an ultra happy extended family just makes me feel even more sorry for myself!

I too think it is the depression talking.
I don't see pictures of my friends or my family doing something fun, or enjoyable as "showing off", I see it as a chance to share their happiness, if you like. I enjoy seeing people I love having a great time.
You can turn off social media / withdraw from Whatsapp / ask them not to share, but then you are cutting yourself off from people you love, and I'm not sure how loneliness is going to be better.

Ironically, I set up the Whatsapp group when one of my siblings was very ill, but am regretting it now!

My sister lives thousands of miles away, but we mostly FaceTime. I wold not bombard her with images of fun stuff I rarely do in London (she doesn't have the opportunity to do much fun stuff).

When she has depression, I pick up the phone and call her.

Maybe you could leave the group and delete WA for a couple of days? That way, if they ask why you left the group, you just say you had an issue with the app and had to re-install it.

Then perhaps you could have arrange a FaceTime with them individually? It may help to build a stronger relationship.

Back for good - I know I shouldn't feel the way I do, but I just do. My siblings have multiple holidays every year, so this is not an occasional thing. One of them in particular loves to be the centre of attention, and this has got worse recently. Even when said sibling not on holiday (which is rare!), there's constant pictures of pet, grandkids, house & garden, social events etc etc. It just feels kind of egotistical to me. This sibling didn't have things so good in the past, so now it's as if sibling making up for lost time. But when my life was going better than other siblings, I remember trying my best not to flaunt my good luck, because I didn't want them to feel bad.
Chloe - you seem to be saying that you consider your sister's circumstances before posting loads of pictures of you having a great time. This is exactly my point. If you're sensitive to other people's situation, you think twice about these things. Does that make sense?

I understand completely.

We all have the propensity to show off, but we have to rein it in, especially when you know someone doesn't have the opportunity to have/experience the same things.

I think you just need to be more upfront about what you're feeling. If you're feeling lonely and crying, tell them that. Just put it in a whatsapp (maybe individually and not to the whole group if that's not the dynamic of it). It may wake them up to it. But also text them on a good day as well, so they know you have good and bad days.

Thanks for your help and advice Chloe. Have a great weekend!
Just don't send me any photos (joking!)