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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry she might be getting an eating disorder?

3 replies

justwhiisitwhosvotingtory · 05/05/2017 14:09

I've just spent the weekend with an old friend and am a bit concerned about her DD10. I've known her since she was born and recently had her stay for a couple of nights in the holidays. She is a lovely girl, who has always been incredibly active. She's very sporty and represents her school in several disciplines. She is also tall and thin for her age, just like her mum was at the same age (I was at school with her mum).

When friends DD came recently she had a really good appetite and although slightly fussy happily ate everything on her plate. This last weekend however I noticed a big change. She only ate a small amount before asking to get down. I was surprised as roast chicken has always been her favourite IYSWIM. I also heard her asking her DF if she would get fat? I don't think she finished a meal all weekend. Although she did complain of being hungry when we were out once and was happy for me to buy her an ice cream or two!

It just seemed to me that she is becoming very conscious of what she is eating and not knowing how to go about it? I'm very prepared to be told that she is just being fussy and not eating meals because she wants to fill up on snacks and rubbish but it seemed out of character.

I don't want to worry my friend unnecessarily, as she is struggling with her MH after a really tricky year. I also think all the upheaval in the last year (friends DD is now on her 3rd school in 2 years) might have had adverse effect and make my friend less able to recognise a problem.

I'm afraid I don't know much about the eating habits of tweens, or how eating disorders start? But can anyone suggest what to look for? Or how to bring this up with my friend?

OP posts:
welovepancakes · 05/05/2017 14:17

A friend's daughter has an eating disorder. She told school friends she wasn't hungry and would eat at home. She told her family she'd had a big meal with her friends and wasn't hungry. It took a while for people to realise that she wasn't eating meals with friends or family

I don't really understand eating disorders but it's not about a fear of getting fat. It's more about low self esteem, feeling out of control, therefore controlling one of the few things that you can control (food). It then becomes an obsession. Other people will no doubt have a better understanding.

This website is helpful
www.b-eat.co.uk

misscph1973 · 05/05/2017 14:19

I don't think there is anything to worry about. Kids have fluctuating appetites. I personally am convinced my DD age 12 is anorexic and is about to self-harm every time she doesn't finish what's on her plate. But I tell myself I am over-worrying.

Rainybo · 05/05/2017 18:49

The problem is that one weekend is just a snapshot. A poor appetite could have been down to anything. I would be more minded to just mention to your friend that you noticed her DD seemed not to be very hungry at the weekend, is she ok?

It could be feeling a little poorly, SATs worries, the start of an eating disorder, wanting to get down to do something, preferring to eat snacks. It's all just speculation, but keep an eye.

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