To be pissed off with physio

[NewMum3]

I see a physio a couple of times a week since I was pregnant. I find her a bit judgemental but we get on well enough and chat a bit about our families and stuff.

Last visit, talking about my DH, she laughed and said 'Oh, he definitely sounds like he's on the spectrum'. I laughed nervously and she continued that she was convinced he was and then listed the traits that supported it. Now I have no experience whatsoever with autism, don't know anything about the spectrum, and now this is all I can think about!

I had never considered it before and not sure how I feel about it or her making such a flippant comment like that. I don't think it was her place to say something like that, or did she just mean well? And what do I do with this information??

It doesnt sound very professional of her. I would keep chat to non personal information from now on.

Well yes, I will. But am I supposed to just ignore what she said?

Wow...seems a post has to be goady, tragic or a troll to get any responses these days! Shame.

Do you mean that you consider her to maybe correct? In which case why don't you do some googling? Will it make any difference really if he is on the spectrum anyway?

She sounds very nosey and intrusive tbh and she isn't necessarily an autism expert anyway so i would just ignore.

She sounds very rude and unprofessional, so if it was me I wouldn't be so conversational in future.

It sounds like have both let your relationship get a bit personal rather than professional and she has become over familiar.

Is your DH happy in himself? Do you communicate well with each other?

She's overstepped the line here. BUT if you accept its has been said in the spirit of "frendship", there might be a shred of truth in what she's saying. Not that its any of her business. Do you normally allow your friends to critcise DH? Perhaps he's just intolerant of people that make stupid remarks?

If its any consolation, we're all on one spectrum or another!

Unprofessional on her part and totally outside her remit to "diagnose" autism based on a chat with a client.

Just for context how did the conversation go ? Was it based on a bit of chit chat or were you opening up about things that were concerning you?

As for what to do with the information, well that depends. Do you have any worries about your DH? Are his behaviours causing you problem? If you weren't worried before I wouldn't be worried now based on a few comments from the physio

No we're not all on the spectrum somewhere. It's possible to have one or two traits that are commonly associated with autism without being on the spectrum so unless you have significant difficulties in each of the triad of impairments then no you're not a "little bit autistic"

Thank you for the responses.

monkey The conversation was more chit chat. DH is very successful and a complete workaholic, which has come up in conversation with her. I also mentioned that he has problems dealing with emotions in other people, for example, he finds it difficult to show empathy or sympathy to me if I'm upset. This does bother me sometimes, but not to the point that it threatens our relationship. He's very OCD as well regarding how clean and tidy our house is. I think these are the only things I've mentioned to her.

I don't think he would be open to any discussion about potentially being on the spectrum. I guess it was just something I hadn't thought of before. Is it something that is inherited? Should I be concerned about this for DD?

If you see her a couple of times a week and discuss personal stuff then I don't think it's completely unreasonable of her to say what she has. Perhaps her delivery could have been better "have you considered...?" Type of thing rather than an outright declaration.
Fwiw sometimes a diagnosis of asd in adulthood isn't necessary but an understanding for you as a partner could help you manage your feelings about the issues he may have in supporting you. I hope that makes sense.

I would only worry about your dd is she is demonstrating behaviours that worry you, if she isn't then no I wouldn't give it anymore thought. Autism is quite prevelent in my family. My dad has it, my sister has it but myself and brother don't. My youngest son has it but my eldest doesn't. So even if your DH does have it (and I'm not entirely sure I'd say he does based on your description but who knows!) that doesn't mean your dd will be affected.

I really think you should raise this with the physio she needs to know that her comments have set in motion a chain of worrying. I think she's behaved very unprofessionally

I know one thing - if I was your dh I would be annoyed you where telling someone such personal stuff about me!

but not entirely untrue.

Is this based on previous posts? As not sure how anyone could agree or disagree just based on the tiny bit of info of him being a workaholic and struggling with emotions, that could be half of the uk at times!

Sirzy it's nothing he wouldn't freely admit to himself, so I'm not concerned about that!

I think perhaps if it were true then I would understand the lack of emotion a bit more. It just came as a bit of a shock that someone would say that.

I think it was unprofessional and that she didn't really think her comments through before saying them. But judging from comments here, I think I'll just ignore it. I'll probably have too much wine one night and tell him what she said though! He won't care

Lots of people have asd traits. Some have difficulty with flexibility of thought, some have sensory issues, some find socialising more difficult than others. It doesn't mean they are all autistic or need a diagnosis. If your husband finds it difficult to support you for any reason tell him how he can help. E.g. 'I feel sad because..... it would be helpful if you left me alone/ gave me a cuddle/listened without trying to offer solutions'.

And yes it's completely unprofessional and ridiculous.

that's very unprofessional, to be honest that would out me off using her TBH

Well I guess it was unprofessional of her but you've lost the moral highground about throwing around diagnosis without being qualified by describing your dh as 'very ocd'
Maybe he is mildly autistic, maybe he isn't. It doesn't seem to be having a negative impact on his career or marriage. I don't think you need to do anything in light of your physio's opinion. Unless it is to report her for being unprofessional. If there are any issues that are concerning you about your dd then seek medical advice, as I'm sure you would have regardless.

'Very OCD' is how DH describes himself regarding hygiene, cleanliness, tidiness etc.. so it ain't my diagnosis!