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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To abandon London and move to Diss in Norfolk???

68 replies

Beachhairdontcare · 04/05/2017 21:16

Mortgaged to the hilt in suburban London with debts coming out of goodness knows where. DC are 12, 10 and 3 months.
A move to Norfolk would mean we are mortgage free, but would mean uprooting the kids from everything and everyone they know. DS (11) is in an Ofsted outstanding school and will soon be starting to think about GCSE's.
I don't know anyone in Norfolk, but I'm sick to death of all the money worries and it seems like it could be a good option, but it's just so far away and I already feel guilty about even considering taking DS away from his social network. It would be a fresh start for us as a family, but it just seems like such a huge step, I'm not sure that I'm brave enough!

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 04/05/2017 21:19

Well its up to you but it doesnt sound like a terible idea. Just choose an area where you have access to a good school. Certainly do it sooner rather than later.

What would you do about work?

MovingtoParadise · 04/05/2017 21:20

Wouldn't you still have to earn money?

They're not exactly flush with jobs in parts of Notfolk

carolinescustard · 04/05/2017 21:21

My Grandparents lived there. It is really nice, near to so many other beautiful villages in Suffolk too.
I haven't been back for over a decade though, so l hope it hasn't changed.
With regard to moving the children, ld talk to the eldest ones to gauge how they feel. We've moved ours a couple of times ( different countries) and they did adapt very successfully.
Good luck with your decisions...

Chasingsquirrels · 04/05/2017 21:21

Any particular reason to choose Diss?

Original poster
Beachhairdontcare · 04/05/2017 21:21

I work for the NHS, there are jobs advertised locally so I think I'd find something without too much bother.
Do people actually just up and leave though? With three kids and no support network? The house we're in now is worth a lot, but needs a lot of work doing that we possibly might never be able to afford to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beachhairdontcare · 04/05/2017 21:23

Not especially Chasingsquirrels, I drove through it recently and it seemed nice, good train links into London if need be and lovely, affordable houses on rightmove.

OP posts:
Thumbcat · 04/05/2017 21:23

I'd look to moving somewhere a bit further out of London to lower the mortgage payments. I wouldn't want to be cut off in Norfolk even if it did mean being mortgage free.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/05/2017 21:23

YANBU but Cromer is much nicer.

I'd fuck off east in a heartbeat if I could. Never going to happen but I'm planning retirement there just in case.

Etymology23 · 04/05/2017 21:31

I like Diss, it's a good town. I'd be tempted to shift down the trainline into suffolk so you can get into London easier, but it's an hr thirty with no changes, and Diss has a station.

Only thing is that it's worth checking the schools round there - a shift down over the border to eye would take you away from the train station, but hartismere school there is really decent, and has a sixth form. Smaller village though, whereas diss is more town sized. Remember with diss you would need to go up to Norwich to get to any proper clothes shops etc really, which is only 15 mins on the train, but takes much longer by car.

It is quite out in the sticks, but I do really like the town - it will be a major change. Remember if you're used to multiculturalness, being able to get to foreign supermarkets etc, that that won't exist any longer, but obviously will if you go up to Norwich. Great city, plenty on, with theatre, gigs etc etc.

Bumblebeebuzzybee · 04/05/2017 21:31

I've no idea what the schools are like around Diss (Norfolk hasn't performed well in education lately...) but living in that area would probably give you around a 40 minute commute to either Norwich or Ipswich where there are a fair few NHS job opportunities. There are some very pretty villages around the area but probably not a huge amount to do for teens I would think. Would you consider a bit nearer Norwich? There might be more for the kids to do there.

Bumblebeebuzzybee · 04/05/2017 21:33

Commute by car that is!

Etymology23 · 04/05/2017 21:36

Would also say that we moved out here when I was the same age as your son, and I never intend to leave. I made friends and it was really fine - I loved the freedom I had as a teenager, to roam the countryside, to play out, build dens, roam the fields, doing scouts, building fires. The broads are amazing as well, and the kids can learn to sail - but I guess they'd be about an hour away. The seaside is beautiful, and it's only hour as well.

You also do have to be prepared for the distances - 10miles is nothing out here, whereas when I lived elsewhere in the country that would seem a long way to go. I'd happily drive 50-70 miles each way to visit friends for a day.

AgathaMystery · 04/05/2017 21:37

Get to Norwich (Diss is boring AF). You will LOVE it.

Stripeystripes · 04/05/2017 21:40

Hmm... we moved when I was 12 for all good work and financial reasons. My parents say it was the biggest mistake of their lives as I found it so difficult.

I remember it was hideous. I went from having a load of friends to none and didnt have the local accent etc. Maybe cos it coincided with puberty and secondary school stuff.

I did make friends eventually, but was never happy there and got out of that area fast as soon as I started university. Don't consider it where I'm "from" now.

But am fine now Grin

Younger 10-yr-old sibling was fine, though. Loved it, in fact.

Sorry, that's not what you want to hear.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 21:41

We left Diss last year to move just outside Norwich. We found it quite cut off, especially with kids. There are lots of things you need to go into the city for, such as cinema, decent choice of shops. Where we are now is much better tbh. If you are used to London living you might feel a bit trapped. I think there are nicer places that would be nearer the city. Norfolk is lovely though.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 21:42

Ok I was trying to be diplomatic but Agatha is spot on. Diss is dullsville!

justdontevenfuckingstart · 04/05/2017 21:43

I live and work in Norfolk, when we hear Diss it's mm nice area but hard for facilities and transport and the like. Bit too out of the way.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/05/2017 21:46

If you do decide to go OP can I please have updates so I can live vicariously?

We get up there as often as we can and I dream of living closer to the sea, the slower pace of life, the ice cream, beautiful grand old Norwich, the plentiful sky, the miles of fields, the beauty of the area.

hippoinamudhole · 04/05/2017 21:48

Depends whether you use a car or the train. Diss has fairly good train links, but rubbish road access.
The high school isn't one I would send my children to tbh, but a nearby one at old buckenham is better imo.
Old buck is on the a11 corridor which has easy access to Norwich and London, albeit further obviously

sparkleandsunshine · 04/05/2017 21:52

Taking away mortgage stress might be love,y for the family, I used to commute to London from diss when at uni and it's not that long a train journey for a day trip :)

justdontevenfuckingstart · 04/05/2017 21:53

Anne the wages are low, you get stuck behind tractors all the time. Your house shakes at 5 every morning when the farm vehicles go past. It's beautiful, you know everyone in your village.
I love Norfolk, only been to Norwich once, we live in a village. I am not from here but oh is. Best place in the world.

Softkitty2 · 04/05/2017 21:57

Ds is only 1 member of your family. You have to make a decision that improves the lives of the majority IMO.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 21:58

I live in a large village 4 miles out of Norwich. 6 buses an hour and takes 15 minutes to get into the city centre. Then I can come home and have a walk through the local woods. I love having the best of both worlds.

Etymology23 · 04/05/2017 21:59

You also have to be prepared for JUST how small town these places are. Everyone will know someone you know. In one of the villages near me the pharmacist may well tell anyone else who comes in what you had prescribed. I have people who come up to me in the street who remember me from when I was twelve and want to know how I'm doing now. People used to regularly (and well-meaningly) tell me I needed to find a husband, and learn to accept a man's help. (They would also help me out with anything I needed help with - I can't tell you how kind people have been.)

Everywhere round here is Tory, until you get up into Norwich, or into Ipswich - that might be something you're fine with, it might not.

I think people are right about Diss' car links. We used to call it an oasis in the desert, because it's the only thing for miles around, but it's not a major town, so it really does depend if that level of change is something you would want. It doesn't bother me to drive 30mins for the cinema, or that the pace of life is slow (mostly doesn't bother me...sometimes I think I'll have died of old age before people finish the post office near me).

It's a different kind of freedom that kids have out in the country, and it could be a big change for them.

Sorry about the many posts, I have a lot of thoughts on this!

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/05/2017 22:00

We get stuck behind tractors in the overpriced dull village we live in in the south east justdont Grin and I don't know many people here as everyone works away. We have two pubs, a shop and two churches. The sea feels a million miles away.

Norwich is the best! I was there for 3 years and loved it. I left a big piece of my heart up on the north Norfolk coast.

How long have you been there?