AIBU to take over all household finances after DH's monumental errors in judgement?

[BBtie]

First post - bracing myself!

DH and I have always had a great relationship re: our household finances. I earn the most, about 3x more, never been an issue as it hasn't mattered before. My job is quite stressful so DH has looked after home insurance, travel insurance, energy contracts and admin etc. I look after mortgage and childcare contracts / admin etc. Just the way it has worked out. All worked fine before now.

We have 2 young kids. 6 weeks ago one of them broke our expensive TV and I found out DH had got the cheapest insurance possible with no accidental cover. Never been an issue before, so lesson learned, we got a new TV and I said that we absolutely had to get accidental cover ASAP in case anything gets broken again - highly likely given our young kids. I asked him had he done it at least 8 times over last 5 weeks. Just had another issue with our house and went to claim the 2,500 on the insurance, only to be told by the insurers that it is only covered under accidental damage, which we don't have, as DH had ignored me / disagreed somehow so was stubborn / was too lazy to do.

This is on top of a skiing injury he sustained earlier this year which cost 9k to fix, surprise surprise - cheapest crappiest insurance cover that we are still touch and go whether it will cover it. Oh and he spent so long sorting that out that we have been slapped with 600 Euros debt collectors fees too as he was too slack to call the medical company and let them know that he was on it and claiming through insurance.

I am feeling really helpless. Unless I insist on taking on all our household finances, in addition to earning most of the ££, I can't see how I can be sure things are done and we are making good financial decisions. And I am starting to resent the costs he is racking up through poor management and decisions, which on his own he would never have the funds to pay.

Thoughts? DH is refusing to acknowledge any issue and saying that it's an annoying situation and bad luck....

Strategic incompetence, anyone?

Similar position to you in that I took over the finances many years ago. My OH looks at the cheapest, doesn't check the small print, doesn't see the better deal, spends a fortune on a big shop that needs topping up during the week, he would never swap a bank for better rates etc. It's how he is, he has other talents and Is responsible for other stuff, I don't get agitated about it.

I also understand the earnings thing, if your OH has always had that financial cushion then his apathy has probably never had serious consequences.

It's ying and yang in this house concentrating on each other's strengths rather than the weakness works for us.

@Chewbecca - accidental buildings cover is practically essential if you do diy/building work. You won't get a penny otherwise on some policies.

When 'he's great with the children' is this by any chance a fun job? While you are stuck with housework which is a boring job?

It does matter that you are the higher earner because it is more stress for you to earn the money that he is happily frittering away. The least he could do is feel back about it.

There seem to be some major inequities in your relationship. You earn all the money but also do all the shit jobs. He earns the least money but has the fun jobs and no money worries or responsibility.

I would suggest you sit down and go over together how you are going to save this money back - as Lana says, make it something he will notice. Then review policies etc together - make him do some work, with deadlines, like you would expect a work colleague to do. Plus have a look at who is doing what around the house - him being Fun Daddy while you do the ironing is not him pulling his weight.

uppity, buildings, mayve but contents is not an essential & that's what is in question here.

I'd be horrified if DH described this decision in the terms OP does, these are not monumental errors in judgement IMO, they are just different decisions to those OP would've made, neither are right or wrong.

I have never had accidental damage cover. For me, insurance is for the big stuff like house burning to the ground.

Day to day mishaps - happy to suck them up and save the premiums every year.

I'm with your DH