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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have turned down yet another charity request?

12 replies

Charitycharitycharity · 04/05/2017 18:24

Is it just me, but I am constantly bombarded by charity requests. Not just the door to door stuff, but friends constantly doing charity runs, swims, parties, mountain climbs. Some of my friends are pushy - the charity they support is their main "thing" their lives, and they promote it endlessly.

All well and good. I'm quite happy to donate when I can, politely duck the requests that are too much for me.

But I think I'm about to fall out with one particular friend over this one. We haven't seen her in ages, as we live at different ends of the country. She's living slightly closer now (couple of hours away), and suggested we met up one weekend. Agreed it sounded fun, wasn't ideal weekend for us with prior commitments, but said we'd move a few things and get back to her.

Then I get the email - she needs to know by a fixed date, as it's something we have to sign up for. Over £200 to a charity! Plus expenses etc. Everyone else has already signed up....

So, not just us meeting up, but a big group event, for a charity she supports. And no way do I have a spare £200. So I politely say sorry, too much. Suggest that we meet up another time. She bombards me with messages saying we haven't seen her in ages.

I just said sorry, but I know she's annoyed. I'm just so fed up - it's almost become a thing now. Every lunch, every party, I'm asked to support a charity, and they are talking £100s not just £10 here and there.

Sorry, I'm not one to rant, but this is just getting silly!

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 04/05/2017 18:47

YANBU this gives me the rage. By all means send round a sponsor form or give me just giving info but if I choose not to donate accept it.

We had a woman at work hand round her husbands sponsor form for a charity run....I have never met the man and had sponsored several people already. I passed the form on and she came to my desk demanding to
Know why I wouldn't sponsor her husband. I told her I was skint and didn't know her husband. She accused me of being racist.... I didn't know until that remark that her husband was black as I'd NEVER MET THE MAN! He wasn't a friend so why would I sponsor him?

HildaOg · 04/05/2017 19:19

Of course not. I suggest you tell her that you're disappointed that she was only using the meeting to promote something and that there's really no point in meeting when she's only trying to get money from you. That's not a friendship. Stop apologising. She's the one in the wrong, if she can't recognise that and apologise to you then she's not worth keeping.

I don't give money to anyone who asks for it. I give only what I can afford to organisations I feel strongly about.

I'd forever mock anyone who asked me for hundreds... 😂😂

Alconleigh · 04/05/2017 22:05

I hear you OP. I will sponsor some people, for a real effort or a charity I want to support. But some sponsorship is getting ridiculous; there's a new one for cancer which is to do 10,000 steps a day in June Hmm. If anyone asked me for money for doing the minimal amount of walking which a physically able adult should do every day, they'd get fairly short shrift.

SeparatedByMotorways · 04/05/2017 22:20

I work for a charity, in fundraising and sponsorship fatigue is a massive issue. We're working hard to plug that by changing our fundraising avenues but basically, YANBU, even the charities themselves know how annoying it is becoming for people. Also, where I work at least, we're really keen not to over ask and alienate people, so its a bit of a shame that message hasn't been passed on from your friend's charity back to her. She would do well to shrug it off, see you at a more convenient time and move on. Don't worry about it.

LadySalmakia · 04/05/2017 22:38

I never sponsor and I never ask for sponsorship. I'm not overly generous to charities but I do give bits regularly so I just say "I'm sorry, I've already got my charity donations sorted out" but I'm lucky that people around me don't generally push.

What I do do, but don't tell them, is often I'll give a bit to their charity page anonymously. I admire what they're doing, I just don't want asking all the time and I can't afford to sponsor as much as people want.

PastysPrincess · 04/05/2017 22:43

YANBU. I got cornered by a delegate at a meeting to sponsor him for movember. I couldn't say no and handed over my last £5. Annoying thing about it is that all the other people in there earn double if not triple my salary.

SallyGinnamon · 04/05/2017 22:49

YANBU.

I do monthly give-as-you-earn to five or six charities (need to check!) through work payroll. Works out at about £60 per charity per year. I don't need someone running/swimming/cycling to make me donate.

My biggest bugbear is teens going to Africa or similar to help build schools. At school DC who can't afford to go are asked to stump up money to sponsor or buy cakes to support those whose parent can afford to send them. I'd rather send the money direct!

Huldra · 04/05/2017 22:57

In that situation I think it's fine to call her up on it. Sorry there's been some miscommunication, I thought you wanted to meet up with me. You didn't say upfront that it was for an expenive ticket to a charity event.

I dodge many an event and chugger, I also have done charity events, worked for a charity, have direct debits to charities and sponsor others. There's no need to be underhand about it, that would piss me off.

SwirlSwirl01 · 04/05/2017 23:03

£200 donation is a huge amount !

I like to choose when, who and which charities I donate to, whether it is time, money or other donations

Please do not feel guilty, it is your choice

Original poster
Charitycharitycharity · 05/05/2017 18:01

Thanks all. No more emails or messages today, so I'm just going to leave it now.

I also prefer to give direct, quietly. I get the need to raise awareness, but I find the whole sponsorship thing annoying. Particularly when most of my friends who do endless charity fundraising are loaded, and frankly bored.

Happy Friday! Wine

OP posts:
Twinkie1 · 05/05/2017 18:10

It's never ending isn't it..Pisses me off too, my 23 year old able bodied gym going niece wants me to sponsor her to WALK 10k! Fuck off, I can do more than that round Bluewater with a toddler in a day and I'm twice her age.

If you want cash from me you need to do something that entails hardship and training love!!

Maybe no you the ones where they want cash to go cycle the Great Wall of China are the best. It's a ducking holiday!!!😡

expatinscotland · 05/05/2017 18:23

She's no friend. YANBU. I'd actually block her, it doesn't sound like she's that close, but a real cheek to try to bilk you for over £200.

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