Probably should have posted in Sleep but I need a bit of a rant and some advice. This could be long and rambling.
Dd1 has just turned 2, Dd2 is 1 in few days I'm knackered literally I've never felt this worn down and out ever even after giving birth. They just don't sleep and as a result neither do I.
Dd1 has always woke 1-2 times a night for a feed normally would just go back off fairly quickly without too much drama. We did a mix of co-sleeping and her in her crib. We moved her into her own room at 9 months in prep for her sister arriving. She naps without too much fuss during the day ( now down to 1 nap for about 1-2hrs) bed time at 8 and most of the time she goes down ok but recently we have had screaming and tantrums.
Dd2 has been somewhat more difficult from the get go, colicky clingy baby who has pretty much never slept anywhere except our bed from birth. Total nightmare to get to sleep screams the house down and can be unconsolable at times. As a result and wanting a bit of an easy life she has no real bedtime routine and will fall asleep cuddled in to me, then up to be me with me and dh.
So far previous attempts at trying to get a routine started have been scrapped because I can't bare the screaming every time I try to put her down in the cot and I just want some sleep.
We moved her cot into Dd1 room (they will have to share no other options) and thought we would start putting her to be me as we do with older dd. This is not going well at all she will just scream till she is blue whenever I'm the cot.
DH is at his wits end too and has said he want them both out of our bed as he can't sleep properly with them in it. I tend to agree and would love some space back but I just don't know where to start and how to deal with DD2 and the screaming. I hate the cio/controlled crying aspect dh thinks we should do I find it just too distressing all round. He would easily turn up the tv/put head phones on and ignore her, I can't do it though.
Last night was really terrible after both of us battling to get them to sleep which took over an hr ( he sat by dd1 cuddles night night etc) I bf Dd2 to sleep. Managed to get both in own cots till 1230 when dd1 woke up followed by Dd2 half hour later. Knowing we need them out of the sleeping in our bed habit I fed them then attempted to put them both back and failed miserably. Screaming and crying until 5 this morning I tried every single option and nothing worked. Both in cots both out of cots, in spare bed with me toddler in cot in room on her own baby back in our bed, both in our bed nothing worked dh for up at 4 and suggested just leaving them both as 'this is ridiculous!' Think I finally managed to get them to sleep but I honestly can't remember how they were both in our bed this morning.
Sorry it's so long, I'm just so tired and sick of it all and really don't know what to do. I'm annoyed with dh for just saying let them cry and feel like he thinks it's all my fault and I'm too soft with them. But he's not the one who's had to get up every night for the past 2 years!