to feel crappy about vasectomy/hysterectomy?

[ChocolateRaisin09]

I don't even know what exactly is making me feel crappy. I'm 36 and have a 6yo and had PTSD due to a traumatic birth. Had a shite time for a few years, but now pretty comfy and had CBT which was great.
I am always a bit jealous/bitter about mums and their new babies, which I think is kind of natural? because I had a shitty time of it, but this seems to have worsened lately.
My DH wants to get a vasectomy as he really doesn't want more kids, and we agreed that it's probably not a good idea. However if he wanted another I definitely would. So does that mean I'd like one? I don't know why I can't know if I do or not?!
I'm having trouble with my hormones/possible fibroids etc at the moment and my mum told me to get a hysterectomy as that sorted her out.
Both of these ideas kind of horrify me and I still feel reasonably young and didn't expect to have to make a "final decision".
Anyway I feel really shit and can't work out what my head is doing. AGH. Mountain out of molehill much?

Sorry to hear of your PTSD OP

If your DH is adamant about no more and is going to get a vasectomy then I suppose it boils down to two choices. You accept having one or you leave your DH. Appreciate those are two big choices!

Is the issue more that you think if you were certain you wanted another your DH would agree?

Do you want another baby? If so you need to have a serious chat with your dh. After such problems last time you would get a CS if you wanted one.

In terms of your fibroid, you need a GP and gynae referral to discuss tretament options. Hysterectomy is the last resort not the first choice ( especially not just cos your mum says so ).

For contraception, if you aren't totally reconciled to no more DC I suggest you look at long term and reliable methods such as the Mirena rather than a vasectomy. First of all though you need to speak openly with your dh and see your GP.

Good luck.

Haha, but my mum says so! :)
Yeah she has a way with words, I should realise that was a bit OTT.
Thank you both, yes I need to talk to him properly and admit I'm feeling like this.
Getting referred to gynae so we'll see. Maybe I'm scared of losing the choice.

I think sometimes we think we should feel a certain way because it's seen as the norm. Similarly when people feel pressure to have kids because they should. No kids or just one kid works for people. I'd maybe hold off for a few months and have a think about how you feel. Hope you're starting to recover from your ptsd.

Speaking from personal experience, when you have PTSD from a traumatic birth, your partner has suffered too. If you genuinely feel in a better place and better equipped to face any horribleness (can't find a better word) then a deeper discussion with him might be necessary. He may have had a pretty dreadful time watching you suffer and trying to be a great dad at the same time. I'm not being diddums about him because I obviously empathise more with a post-traumatic birth ptsd sufferer.
But if it was hard enough for you getting good care there is little or nothing for partners.
He might be scared.