I absolutely agree with posters saying that partners should not be allowed overnight in postnatal wards. Private rooms yes, so long as they don't leave their rooms (and security are there to ensure this is the case), but absolutely not otherwise. My hospital allows partners 8am-10pm, and other visitors (maximum of two per patient, excluding the partner) 5-7pm. There was an informal grace period when you first came into postnatal of about half an hour or so, so your partner could settle you in, which worked pretty well.
I had an unpleasant time on postnatal with both mine. DD1 I had an induction, epidural, full dilatation and then EMCS 22 hours after start of labour, five hours on a gloriously empty recovery ward where I was given toast (first food in about 40 hours). Then into postnatal at 3am, very little sleep, got dirty looks from the midwife when I buzzed for help changing nappy - I was catheterised, exhausted, clueless, less than six hours since major surgery, but apparently I should have been managing on my own. Then fed DD, had to buzz again for another dirty nappy and got properly told off that time (same midwife). The showers were clean but shabby, toilet had overflowing "sanitary" bin. When my catheter was removed the tube dripped urine over my bedsheets; the midwife dismissed this with "get someone to change them". I had no idea who to ask, and ended up staying in pissy sheets for my whole stay. I ate nothing other than what DH brought in, and it didn't occur to me either as I was in a total daze. Food didn't come into my head until I had my wound checked, and was asked if my bowels had moved - on a negative response the doctor then asked if I'd eaten, and I only then realised it was mid afternoon on a Wednesday, and I'd had nothing aside from a piece of toast since the Monday evening. It took us forever to get discharged, no-one was available to do paperwork until about 7pm, having requested to leave first thing in the morning.
Two years later with DD2 I had undiagnosed antenatal depression, my community midwife hadn't been interested when I tried to tell her, and no-one else seemed bothered. ELCS, DD2 screamed the place down for hours, DH and I got told off in recovery because "babies don't cry for no reason" - she did, and continued to do so for several months. As with DD1 we spent two nights on postnatal, DD2 and I crying for much of that time. Of those two nights a midwife looked in on us once - she was lovely, but dear god I could have done with more help, more often. I was brought toast for breakfast my first morning in but not my second - no idea why there was a difference. There were cards displaying the meals available for each day (no ordering, you just queued up), none of which appealed (school dinner stodge which smelled awful when my neighbouring patients had theirs) and I couldn't muster the wherewithal to hobble all the way down the corridor to fetch it in any case. Again, I ate nothing other than what DH brought me (excepting that one breakfast), and no-one checked that I was eating. There had at least been improvement in the ward: 4 rather than 5 women per bay, and new bathrooms, which were spotless. No-one checked on how we were doing with feeding - it was assumed that as I'd breastfed DD1 for a year, I'd be okay with DD2. I was, but you'd have thought her (and my) near-constant crying would have got some attention.
On both occasions there was a communal kitchen with toaster, bread, etc. On both occasions I didn't set foot in it except to watch the discharge video just before I left. No food was brought to me aside from breakfast once. Water was brought on request, but I had my own bottle as well as the hospital jug filled by DH before he left for the night.
On both occasions I was too immobile/sore to reach my baby from the cot, so I coslept with them in my bed. A previous poster mentioned a bassinet that could swing over the bed like a dinner tray - that would have been amazing, as would a sidecar cot.
On both occasions I felt desperately uncomfortable with the heat. DD1 was born in a heatwave, and the heating was still on in postnatal, it was beyond awful. I was so grateful DD2 was born in spring with cooler weather.
With DD2 I had quite severe depression - I was suicidal before her birth and for the best part of a year after. The hideous experience in postnatal didn't help. A bit of kindness would have gone a very long way, as would a meal or two.
Thanks for running this campaign, MNHQ. It's disgraceful that's it's necessary. I had deeply unpleasant experiences on the postnatal ward, and yet I seem to have had a better time than many. Food, drink, and care are the bare minimum required of a hospital, it is awful that so many are failing women so badly.