To think this is not fair

[madbonkersmad]

I have 4 DD and work full time in a very well paid job. I've been with the company almost 2 years and since it began. Industry is quite male dominated and there is a little overseas travel involved.

The past 2 weeks I have had 2 meals out with the company owners, when I got home last night OH had a massive go at me about not contacting him while I was out (I briefly spoke to him on the phone plus text) he hadn't read the text! I am not coming home drunk, spending unnecessary money (work pay) however I am enjoying myself. We do spend all night talking about work but I'm highly regarding and my opinion counts. The company is growing quickly and there's massive opportunities for me and then my family. He works long hours so I do 40 hours a week, sort childcare, do the housework and shopping etc.

AIBU to except him to support me in my career? If I was a man would this conversation be happening?? Just this morning a family member said oh I bet your DP wasn't impressed you went out agin!

Plus in the heat of it all he commented on my weight gain, probably worth a mention we haven't DTD in months. I truly think this is the end of our relationship. Just need people's opinions to see if I'm in the wrong?

You arent in the wrong.

But then plenty of women get pissed off when their male partners go out for work. Alot of women also comment negatively on theirs dp/dh weight (especially on mn) too.

These situations depend on the relationship as a whole imo.

Like why are you doing all childcare, housework etc?

Is he usually quite controlling? Does you going out impact his career? Etc.

Lots of people also hate their career being impacted by their partners work events.

I don't expect DH to contact me during nights out or vice versa. I expect him to support me in my work and to understand that may involve going out outside of office hours. I don't expect him to criticise my body. Yanbu.

AIBU to except him to support me in my career?

No, YANBU.

If I was a man would this conversation be happening??

Not likely.

Just this morning a family member said oh I bet your DP wasn't impressed you went out agin!

Typical sexist bullshit.

In summary: YANB even slightly U.

Just this morning a family member said oh I bet your DP wasn't impressed you went out again!

What makes this sexist. Men have the same thing said to them. HTH

Plenty of people get annoyed with their partners working overtime or networking or whatever else. Career vs family life and marriage is a balance and all involved need to have an understanding of what the other wants, what's likely or expected and how it'll work. If either person suddenly changes then the other person may not like it.

He can't expect you to freely check in during work meetings which is essentially what these are. Do you earn more than him or could you be about to if these opportunities pay off? Could he be jealous, insecure, trying to sabotage you? Mentioning your weight - I assume negatively - seems a transparent attempt to knock your growing confidence and 'put you back in your place'. Or could it be simple jealousy that you are in the company of men, rich powerful men? He might be worried you will run off. Either way, he is being an asshole.

You sound like an awesome mum, wife and woman. Don't let him clip your wings.

Agree with all the above.

Why are you doing all the housework? He can do his half on weekends.

Thanks for the replies.

A little bit more info, he works every other weekend and when he is off he has his 2 DS'S for the weekend. In fairness to him he doesn't get any time to himself but still no excuse for his behavior. ]

Occasionally he has to do some things outside of work - this is always supported by me but doesn't involve fancy meals out - his industry is completely different.

I arranged childcare for last night as he had to pick his DS up and take him back to his mums, he collected the girls at 8pm all bathed and ready for bed by grandma.

I do earn more than him and have the potential to earn a lot more, the guys I was out with are rich and powerful but my Director's and married. Have absolutely no intention of running off with anyone. I am a confident person, but conscience of my weight. Was doing the gym 3 times a week but when i got home still had to cook tea, sort kids and it was gone 8pm and the 2YO is still running around! Cannot do it all! Told him this, TBH i think he is depressed, wont admit it, but did admit being jealous of my life. This upset me as we are supposed to be a team.