'Vibes' from people

[Snailfoot]

Interested in views on this ...

Sometimes, like most people I suppose, I get a really nice warm fuzzy vibe off someone I don't know well. Sometimes it's the opposite, but I can never tell why in concrete terms.

For example I have one colleague that makes me feel warm fuzzy when I spend time with them, but don't know why. On the other hand have a sense a mum at the school gates dislikes me but again don't know why I think that.

Do you pay attention to this or is it in my mind/ am I projecting? And if it's real, what on earth is it? What if either is someone you fancy - are you more likely to make up or see a positive vibe when it's not real?

I do get social anxiety at times and it does make me second guess myself ..

I tend to trust my vibes. Most of the time they've been proven to be right.

Id like to be proven wrong about bad vibes, but it's yet to happen.

Although, sometimes I do end up having to think 'OK this person is not horrible as such, they're just not for me'

I have a few acquaintances I feels the above about and I often panic that my face shows it

I sense vibes about people, houses and even shops and buildings. Some I call a sick building and is having a detrimental effect on the staff who have to work there.
There's a particular shop locally which has a horrible vibe (to me) as soon as I enter.

PS. I have Asperger's/ASD so wonder if I'm just being over sensitive?

I get vibes about people and places. It's a strange one. I went to a colleagues house last week for the first time and got a really really good vibe about it when I walked through the door. So I know what you mean

Another one who gets vibes from people, places and buildings.

A while back now I had to do a work related course at a building which had previously been used as a care home for teenage boys. That place had the worst atmosphere ever, and I actually felt sorry for the people who had to work there all the time. Even looking at the building from the outside made me shudder. It's turned out that many of the boys who were in care there were horribly abused.

Also my this woman who seemed to attach herself to my Mum for a while really gave me the creeps. I just got the overwhelming feeling she was trouble and couldn't put my finger on why.

Isn't this what is known as the sixth sense? I think some people are more sensitive to it than others but everyone has it. Yes, I think a lot of people give off an aura and before you even speak to them you kind of know whether you'll like them, but also a lot comes down to their body language, for example someone who looks you in the eyes and smiles as opposed to someone who frowns etc. I also agree certain places have good or bad atmospheres, I don't know if that is a personal thing, but I do feel houses take on the "vibe" of those who live there.

I am very sensitive to people and their vibes. I have learnt to give people a chance to prove they are otherwise but I am always cautious if the vibe isn't quite right. I have been shown to be right any number of times and in fact Hubby now often will take me to business meetings and his first question is always about how someone struck me!!

A vibe is simply a recognition by your subconscious of what someone's body language is saying. So someone feeling happy and presenting a happy exterior will have their body language presented in a happy, open manner. You'll get good 'vibes' from them. A person trying to hide rage, hate, contempt, aggression, deceit etc... will still show it in their body language and even if you don't consciously notice, your subconscious will, hence bad vibes.

That doesn't mean that everybody you're getting good vibes from is good or has positive feelings toward you and everyone emitting bad vibes is bad and has negative feelings toward you. It can be the case but everything in context. You're just reading their current emotional state or social intentions.

We also project a lot without noticing so much of other people's body language is toward us is their reaction towards their perception of what we're transmitting.

If you have social anxiety then you may be perceiving things in a more paranoid way, you may notice things which are there but others don't notice because you're on the lookout for danger or your nerves might be unnerving other people causing them to appear more threatening because they're putting their defences up.

I agree OP. Me and my mum are very like this, and we are both very logical and scientific in every other way. I remember I was with my mum shopping once and she bought a top from a charity shop, but as soon as she put it on she just got this really bad feeling from it and took it back

I actually think it's more like what a pp said, we subconsciously pick up very well on body language.
Also I think it's tied in to previous experiences. There is an actress I cannot stand, everytime I see her on something I used to get chills and just the worst 'vibes' from her. Then I realised she looks a lot like a girl at school who bullied me. The top my mum bought probably had a very discreet smell she attributed to a painful experience, the same washing powder for example.
My DP and I are renting at the moment and we absolutely love it, it has such a homely, calming atmosphere. The LL came over last week and said she had actually given birth in the dining room in a birthing pool, it's so lovely to think of and I think has added to the atmosphere of the place.

Sometimes though an unconscious assumption is buried so deep down we don't notice it and so place it on 'vibes'.

Yes I get this too and 9/10 times I'm usually right about someone & I'll adjust my behaviour around them. There's been two occasions where I ignored my inner alarm bells with disastrous consequences.

I like to think I'm open & friendly but I do hold myself back and listen to my instincts as well. It's frustrating when you can't do anything about it though. My bil married a woman whom I didn't get good vibes about at all, 10 years later I was right. She's a bad egg and has caused havoc but I had to stand by & watch. Bil didn't listen to me when I warned him to slow things down and not rush into marriage after 3 months. It's been horrific to watch as I really liked him.

I totally trust my vibes about people. I think it's the primitive part of the brain making sure we don't put ourselves in danger.

I get vibes about people who don't like me - naturally a very rare occurrence
I think it is a subconscious pick up on non verbal communication from the hater!
That said, a few weeks ago the hater punched me on the leg under a table in so called jest. That is a less subtle non verbal communication!

You are probably very adept at reading other peoples body language and facial expression. I dont know if you've heard of 'micro expressions' but you are one of the people that can see them without training.
and if you read Gavin de Beckers book 'the Gift of Fear' he explains a lot of it and tells you how to use it.

Another one here who agrees with the OP. I can tell instinctively if someone doesn't like me. I was on a course once, and there was a single mother there with 3 kids with different men, and she had been beaten up by each one of the men. Rotten luck? picking the wrong men? who knows? But she always talked about the domestic violence she had suffered, and how hard life was for her as a single mother with 3 fathers to her kids who contributed nothing, and she got pally with a girl who was similar to her; single mother, 2 kids, never worked, had suffered domestic violence.

I, on the other hand had always worked, had a husband, and a car, and lived in a privately owned house in a cul de sac, and this girl was really obnoxious towards me, and assumed my life was perfect, making snarky remarks about how 'it's all right for some whose husbands keep them' (I worked by the way!) And she blathered on about how women who have not been beaten by men know fuck-all about life blah blah.

What annoyed me was she just assumed my life was lovely. I mean, how did she know I wasn't a woman who had suffered domestic violence? How did she know I wasn't £60K in debt? How did she know I wasn't about to have my house repossessed? It was very obnoxious to assume I have a blessed life, just because I don't garble on about my problems and tell everyone everything about my life. I DID have problems in my life (which I won't go into,) but she was so desperate to go on about herself that she never bothered to ask anything about me. It was inverted snobbery at its finest.

And I have also got feelings about the mums at the school gate. I never fit in with their cliques, and hated the school gate mafia.

But yeah, I do get vibes, and can tell if people dislike me or like me, and also if someone is pissed off with me.

That's really interesting- especially about micro expressions.

How has it worked for you all in relationships/ dating? Have you ever been wrong?

I knew a guy was going to break up with me once, but I think that was more than just vibes!