To not go to this job interview when I'm so incredibly weary and depressed

[user1493797837]

I have been looking for a job in my field for just over a year. I've had 26 interviews and been rejected each time. 26 rejections!!!!!

I have two more job interviews next week. One on Tuesday and one on Wednesday.

I have watched all my friends walk into jobs when they're not any better than me. I've had the most tragic and horrific life so far and I've finally qualified in my field and now yet another hurdle.

The only way I can describe myself is angry,frustrated but more than anything else, weary. So so weary of it all.

I honestly can't see how I can even go to these next two job interviews. I have the skills and experience but I just cannot seem to get the job. I do well but not well enough. I'm newly qualified and the jobs go to people already in a qualified role.

I feel I need to take a step back. The depression is destroying me now. I'm so so weary, tired and depressed from the job hunt and I actually worry that another rejection will simply tip me
Over the edge. I'm suicidal.

The happy, positive and confident woman had gone. I don't even know who I am anymore. I do not recognise myself. I don't think I'd even have it in me to do a good interview. I can barely smile never mind perform in such a stressful situation like a job interview where I've got to formulate answers and be fully alert. I just don't have it in me anymore. I can't do this anymore.
AIBU to not go to these interviews and instead, take a break from job hunting and get some mental health support?

I know exactly how you feel OP. During my last period of unemployment, I went to a job interview (lost count by this stage) and just stood outside, in my perfect outfit, with my all my notes, like I was in a trance. I just couldn't go in.

After that, I took a break from job hunting. Luckily for me, I have nannying experience and there's no shortage of nannying jobs. I took on a temporary nannying position. It may feel like I'm treading water professionally, but at least I have can afford groceries, pay back the debt I built up while I was unemployed, even book a weekend away. Basically the depression which comes with unemployment (and as someone who suffers from bouts of clinical depression, I'm not using that word hyperobically) has lifted.

I'll be able to to come back to the job hunt invigorated and sane again in a couple of months.

My advice is to give yourself a break. If you can secure a temporary alternative source of income like I did, do it (I know I'm lucky.) Give yourself a few days away if you can possibly afford it. Most people would be depressed in your position.

And I got the whole 'the position went to someone more experienced' again and again. It means, hopefully, that you will manage to get a job in your field if you just keep trying, with a little bit of luck.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Twenty six interviews would grind anyone down. You sound strong. But practise self care. And remember its more than okay to give yourself a break. It's necessary.

Also, if you can afford mental health services, please attend them. They will help.

But if your experience is like mine (and it sounds like it) nothing will help as much as a job, even a shitty job you don't like, and some money in the bank you earned yourself. I've had a coupleof periods of unemployment and it's insane how bad it is for your mental health. And how quickly you feel better when you see those numbers in your bank account and feel like you can breathe again.

I think you're making the right decision. And believe me I have been where you are. But any interview is an opportunity, and if you really think that finding a job would cure your depression I wouldn't turn down even the smallest chance to do that. It doesn't have to be an either/or with seeking mental health support-- you can and should do both.

That being said, do not build these interviews up in your mind as "your last chance." Do your absolute best, definitely, but don't let it hurt you even more if these don't come through. There's nothing more significant about them than any other interview.

I was rejected for so, so many jobs before I found one, and the one I found was way below what I had originally expected in every way: lower paid, less prestigious, less interesting, longer hours. But that was 15 years ago and since then I've managed to build a really good career. You just have to be patient. Is it possible to set your sights a bit lower in terms of the job itself but still within your field? It's much easier to find a job when you have a job, and lots of places prefer to promote from within. Plus networking can be invaluable.

Like you, I was put off by the rejection letters, but now that I'm in a position to contribute to hiring decisions myself, I've learned that there really are many many reasons why a good candidate might not get hired, that have nothing to do with the candidate him/herself. We are usually looking to fill a place on an existing team, so often we are looking for a personality that will complement the personalities already there or fill in specific gaps in knowledge/competency. A candidate can't possibly plan for that in advance because s/he doesn't know what's going on behind the scenes. And often, yes, we do have a candidate in mind, either internally or through someone we know. But it's never "so-and-so's nephew" or whatever, it's someone who is known to us professionally through work or professional membership organizations (which anyone can generally join!). So as a candidate, you need to do absolutely everything you can to meet people in the field. There are lots of websites and books with networking advice. As awkward as it feels (and it does feel awkward!), you need to be doing as much of that as you can. Then when a position opens up, someone who knows you can say, "I know User1234 from my women's networking group is looking. Let me call her and see if she's interested." You would usually still have to interview but it's a massive leg up to have someone on the inside helping you prepare and putting in a good world about you.

Good luck! And keep at it. It won't be like this forever, I promise.

Thank you everyone.

I hope I get something soon.

OP could you temp in your field or a related field, just to get something on your CV?

When I was a NQSW I got the "great application, great interview, you just missed out to someone with a little more experience than you" feedback so many times that I thought I would never, ever get the job I wanted. I did a job in which my SW qualification and skills were useful and I stopped applying for any qualified jobs for a few months. When I started looking again, I broadened my search to include non traditional SW employers- so private and 3rd sector providers as well as the LAs and CMHTs and so on. There were a few agencies specifically looking for NQSWs, usually to do assistant SW work- but that gets you known.

If you aren't a SW the general idea is still the same: get a job that uses your skills even if it's not the actual job you want, take a break from applications, when you start looking again ensure you're including all possible employers, try to find agencies recruiting newly qualifieds. Good luck :)

I've tried everything I really have. I'm out of options now. Networking is my best bet. Actually speaking to managers. I'm highly employable I just need to get meeting people.

I went to the interview and got the job. I wrote a few posts on mumsnet the last few days as I was in a state of absolute distress.

Absolutely ecstatic! Just goes to show why you should never give up.

Well done !! 🎆

Oh well done! So pleased for you!

That is fantastic!! Well done, you!

Fantastic news. Well done OP

user1495366815 Well Done! Are you OP under a slightly different number?