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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my cleaner is stealing from me?

31 replies

ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 18:37

NC for this, I'm a regular lurker, don't post much but unlurking now as need advice.

A bit of a backstory. I have had my current cleaner for over 4 years, since she first arrived in the UK (she is east European) and helped her with papers to set up her cleaning business. I trust(ed) her and treat her well, I'm always polite to her, I always make her cups of tea, we chat, she receives a Christmas bonus every year and I have just raised her money per hour as she requested and generally try and keep her happy. We have a good relationship. She is highly reliable and cleans to a good standard.

Before she arrived this morning I checked my purse and knew exactly how much money was there. When she was 2/3 done, I took her payment out of the purse and left it on the table for her as usual. I put the purse in the bag and went upstairs out of her way/relax. The bag stayed downstairs. When she finished, she popped half way up the stairs, said goodbye and let herself out with her key. When I came downstairs there was £10 less in the purse than it should have been.

I'm in bits over this. I don't know what to think. I don't want to believe she could have done this, but £10 is missing and it's a fact.

Now I think it wasn't the first time she did it. There were couple of times before when I thought there should have been more money in the purse, but normally I'm quite lax and can't remember how much money I have in my purse exactly. Now I also think she might have done it with the cleaning products too as sometimes I expect there to be a product and it's not there. She probably started with nicking the cleaning products, clocked that I'm not watching and moved onto money.

I don't know what to do, help!

OP posts:
GloriaV · 03/05/2017 18:40

You shouldn't leave it around imv. It's one of the reasons I can't be bothered with a cleaner - putting stuff of value away.
I'm sure very few cleaners steal anything but the horrible hassle of calling police etc if something good did go missing - not worth the worry so no cleaner here.

BrieAndChilli · 03/05/2017 18:42

Are you absolutely sure you didn't accidently put £10 extra in her money - 2 notes stuck together sort of thing? Have you checked around where you took the money out in case it's floated under something??

I wluld probably set a trap/video set up so I had proof to confront her with

Shoxfordian · 03/05/2017 18:43

Yeah is there any chance it's in another bit of your wallet or stuck with another note? If not then you may need to consider getting another cleaner

Original poster
ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 19:07

I'm sure the notes didn't stuck together, I checked and decluttered the purse, it's not there. No not floating around either 😭.

OP posts:
SheSaidHeSaid · 03/05/2017 19:13

You shouldn't leave it around imv

So the OP should expect to be stolen from in her own home because her bag and purse were in a different room to where she was?!

If I were you, OP, I'd set a semi trap next time. Same circumstances and make 100% sure you know how much is in purse, then check again when she's left. You don't have actual proof at the moment and there's still a tiny bit of doubt.

putdownyourphone · 03/05/2017 19:15

I feel for you but you just can't be sure unless you actually catch her at it - which is unfortunate as it means setting a trap or videoing her. It seems very brazen that she would take money out of your purse when you were upstairs!

user1493759849 · 03/05/2017 19:19

A bit of a backstory. I have had my current cleaner for over 4 years, since she first arrived in the UK (she is east European) and helped her with papers to set up her cleaning business. I trust(ed) her and treat her well.

She is 'East European.'

Grabs popcorn

FloatyCat · 03/05/2017 19:23

Leave some notes out, Rather than a 'trap' think of it as a ' test'.
I have left cash out in my bedroom and tbh would be bloody gutted if I thought my cleaner had stolen from me.

Original poster
ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 19:23

No need for popcorn, I' m east European myself if it helps

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 03/05/2017 19:25

I think you have to accept the possibility that you made an error you haven't accounted for. Accusing someone of theft is serious.

Original poster
ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 19:26

I feel violated, but yes, I here is a tiny bit of a doubt and lots of hope that I'm wrong.

OP posts:
Nocabbageinmyeye · 03/05/2017 19:30

The only way you will know for sure is to set it up properly next time, an exact amount in your purse after you have taken her money out and ever so slightly mark the purse notes, check when she leaves and confront her if necessary

QuiteLikely5 · 03/05/2017 19:30

Next week put ten fivers in your purse and five tenners - £100

Leave your purse in the kitchen and go for your relax - once she has finished in there check your purse and see - then confront

I think you're onto something but you do need to be certain

SomethingBorrowed · 03/05/2017 19:31

If you are 100% sure I would fire her. You need to trust your cleaner, it is not doable to hide all valuables. We are talking to someone who is left alone to clean all rooms if your house...

SomethingBorrowed · 03/05/2017 19:33

Do you have DC? Could they have taken it?
I did it once as a child Blush and confessed when my parents told me if I didn't do it then it meant cleaner did so they would need to fire her. Not proud.

yummumto3girls · 03/05/2017 19:33

I think you need further evidence you can't accuse her based on this one occasion. I do agree that it is very silly to leave things of value lying around, it's nice to trust people but it's not fair to put people in that position. A friend does oven cleaning and he is always telling his customers off for leaving valuable things lying around such as money or expensive jewellery, it's just common sense.

NC1nightstand · 03/05/2017 19:34

When does she next work for you OP? (Or how long do we have to wait?)

BringMeTea · 03/05/2017 19:35

While you have a doubt over the money I would certainly know for sure if a cleaning product had disappeared. I mean, how many bottles of Mr Muscle would one have? Sadly I suspect your cleaner has taken it.

Sunnymeg · 03/05/2017 19:41

I think you need to be absolutely certain that she is stealing before you do anything. She is probably very grateful for your friendship and how you have helped her in the past and would be very hurt by any unfounded accusations. How you go about proving or disproving it is up to you.

Tapandgo · 03/05/2017 19:43

Secret filming needed.
Do what quitelikely says but keep note of serial numbers.

alltouchedout · 03/05/2017 19:43

Aw crap :(
If you're sure, you have to end her working for you.
If there's any doubt, I'm not so sure. It's hard because everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but you need to be able to trust people in your home. If I wasn't sure if want to make sure but I don't really know any way of doing that (other than setting a trap/ camera which I am not comfortable with).

Original poster
ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 19:43

She comes weekly, so it's a week to wait I'm afraid!

OP posts:
Original poster
ThievingCleaner · 03/05/2017 19:46

I don't want to do anything until I have a definite proof, but not sure what I should do and how to do it.

OP posts:
Uiscebeatha85 · 03/05/2017 19:48

Sorry op, it's shit Sad agree with the trap, only way to find out.

snorymcsnoreson · 03/05/2017 20:02

I've downloaded a free app called presence on my iPad. It's to film the dogs when home alone. It sends a little vid to my phone when there's movement but the screen is off - so there's nothing to indicate it's filming.

I had cleaners steal from me (and shout at my dogs) and it just fucking stinks.