AIBU nightweaning disaster, please help

[crepust]

IVF clinic have told me I have to wean then wait 4 months before they'll treat me. I'm single so hubby putting the baby down is not an option. My child doesn't talk yet so I can't have much of a conversation with them about it. I'm 40 so time is running/run out (child conceived at 37)

I tried the Dr Jay Gordon method last night, after over an hour of screaming I didn't know what to do, so I boobed her, I KNOW you're not meant to but I was worried about traumatising her. She started sleeping at one point but I moved my arm a miniscule amount and we were back to square one.

My prolactin is 200 (normal range is 0-700) and I know there's a facebook group for women who are having ivf and have lied to their doctors as they can't wean their kids (they research the drugs via sources such as the Drugs in Breastmilk Helpline which has a pharmacist who specialises in the issue, that's how they avoid harm to the foetus etc).

I still really want to wean to give myself maximum amount of chance of conceiving and maintaining a pregnancy, but also because the constant interruptions at night when I'm trying to get stuff done is starting to get to me, and she's nipping and going on and off the boob now too!!

I'm going to try and have a look at Pantley's pull-off method but any other suggestions welcome, so upset.

Cold Turkey?

How old is she?

They normally understand about 100 times more than they say in the first two-three years, so you can still talk to her and tell her what is happening even if she can't enter into a conversation with you.

Sarah Ockwell -Smith has written a gentle nightweaning guide, as has the Milk Meg.

How old is your DD? About 2?

I've read Sarah Ockwell but don't really have time to wait 4 wks for the associations to build up, I've done about 2 wks of associations so far. I've read the Milk Meg too, but thank you.

DD is a year and 5 months, and doesn't speak yet.

Just keep trying. I night-weaned mine at 13 months, they can't speak but seemed to understand. Expect a few nights of angry screaming. Once she gets used to no milk at night she'll eat more in the day to compensate.

Jay Gordon only worked on DS1 at 3 years. I couldn't conceive whilst breastfeeding. It was a long slog! Sorry OP - maybe try again in a couple of months?

I initially night weaned my son at 10 months and we went cold turkey. It was very difficult as he was used to being fed to sleep and would wake at least twice for feeds overnight too. We used a Controlled Crying approach under the guidance of a Sleep Consultant and within 4 days he was self settling without a feed and sleeping through from 8pm-6am. He was still breast fed about 3-4 times in the day though.

For about 6 months things stayed like this but then his sleep all went to crap and I fell back into the trap of feeding him overnight if he woke, which was probably about 5 nights out of 7.

When DS was 2 and still BF me and DH decided to TTC #2 and although I fell pregnant on cycle 1 I then miscarried at 5ish weeks and then every month thereafter was negative test after negative test. People told me that breast feeding may be the problem but I brushed it aside as DS was only being fed a maximum of three times in 24 hours (usually only twice) and sometimes due to my work shifts he'd go over 48 hours without any feeds.

However, after ten failed cycles of TTC I made the decision to stop breast feeding just in case it was causing problems and I started off by one week cutting out all day time feeds and then the following week I stopped giving him any night time feeds if he woke. He was about 2yrs 9m at this point. On my first full cycle of not breast feeding at all I fell pregnant.

It will be hard OP - maybe you should seek professional advice on how best to do it? My Sleep Soecialist cost me £90 and she was amazing!! By having very set guidelines from her on what to do and how to react to DS's upset made things soooo much easier because I didn't have to doubt myself, I just fixated on my instructions and didn't deviate.

I assume you've got to daytime wean too? Perhaps you should start with this first unless she already is weaned off these feeds?