To think some people lose all sense of reason when it comes to weddings

[user1485342611]

My sister is currently trying to get out of going to a hens weekend in Italy that will cost her a fortune.

Someone in work today received a wedding invitation to the ceremony and the 'afters', but not to the meal.

The last wedding I was at, I was made to feel guilty for going home the morning after the wedding and not staying on for the party that night. I had already taken a half day on Friday to travel to the wedding, stayed overnight, attended the wedding, stayed overnight again, and now wanted to get home and not end up taking the Monday off and using up 2 days annual leave.

AIBU to think that the whole wedding circus stuff has got totally out of hand, and attending weddings is now becoming an expensive, time consuming hassle, instead of something enjoyable?

I think 'circus' is exactly the right word. Some people seem to see having a wedding as an excuse to turn into J-Lo and start spending money like it's going out of fashion and ordering friends and family to spend money and previous annual leave on week long hen dos and destination weddings. It's attention seeking madness. I have a no hen night policy (went to my sister's and one other, that's quite enough thanks) and I think long and hard about weddings too.

Some people do go OTT on weddings.... but each to their own I guess. But just because you want to spend a fortune on a hen weekend in italy, or want a wedding that lasts a week... doesn't mean others can afford it and can take time off work to do it all.

I loved my wedding... I organised a hotel room for all my 30 guests.... so when they were invited they were told they didn't have to pay for anything, presents weren't needed...all they had to do was turn up, witness the ceremony, eat the meal, have a few drinks (ok they had to pay for their own drinks...but a glass of wine and a glass of champagne was included), have an evening meal, sleep in the hotel, eat the all inclusive breakfast and then go home.... everyone said how much they enjoyed it, that it was relaxed and friendly.

Our wedding was no more special because we didnt have a hen do in italy, or doves carrying rings in their beaks or a harpist playing me down the aisle, or that I didnt have to mortgage my house to pay for my dress....

It depends. Some people getting married have unrealistic expectations and behave like dicks, but then some guests are completely unable to accept that someone else's wedding isn't about them.

I have never been to a destination wedding or hen but as long as there is no pressure on guests to attend then I don't see why people shouldn't do it.

Personally I would move hell and high water to support my friends over their wedding as best I could but sometimes it just isn't possible.

I do agree that it can be annoying now. But as the MN saying goes "it's an invite, not a summons" you can choose to say no.

We are planning ours and I've been bending over backwards to try and make sure people don't end up spending £££ just to attend the day.

We have an invite for a wedding reception (evening only) in June, it's an hour + drive away and on a Thursday. I do feel like I don't want to go! DP can't come with me as someone has to stay home with DD, all other babysitting options will be at the wedding. I can't afford to take any holiday from work so would be driving down and back. I probably will make the effort but it's a real pain for the sake of an hour or two of the disco bit.

The way 'destination weddings' have evolved is the worst aspect of this. It used to be that marrying abroad was a money saving option for the couple and the trade off was that they went alone. Now it seems to be pretty much expected that you invite a full complement of guests too and they all have to be prepared to pay for an extra holiday abroad in coming to your wedding.

I think each to their own regarding weddings, everyone is entitled to have the wedding they want. BUT this shouldn't impact too much on the guests everyday lives. I couldn't imagine forcing my guests to take loads of annual leave (if any!) or spending lots of money. I think that's really unfair and the bride and groom should be understanding of any guests that couldn't come based on those reasons.