Dog

[Caretoomuch2017]

Sorry for long post - don't want to drip feed. Currently have no pets. Live in a modest 3 bed semi with DH and 1 DS who is a toddler. PIL want to come and visit which will be lovely except they want to bring their rather large dog. Its a lovely dog and very gentle but the idea of 4 adults, a toddler and a large dog in the house is too much. They refuse to put the dog in kennels and previously it has caused some upset when we've asked them not to bring the dog.
I went PT when we had DS due to cost of childcare. I naively thought this would also help me keep a tidy house... most days we go out because my DS needs the stimulation, meaning I just about get dishwasher/washing/tumble dryer loads done and the odd bit of hoovering the downstairs and that's all the energy I have to do. Everything else happens when it happens.
I personally find it stressful due to anxiety issues and I've never had a house this untidy. I get that having children means some mess - I've come to terms with that but I just can't cope with the added pet hair and mess that will come with the dog. It sheds a lot. We have no where for it to sleep. Its all open plan downstairs so there is no where to shut away at night which means it will end up on my light coloured sofa. The sofa can't be washed (on hindsight not the best idea with DC but we didn't have DC when we bought it).
I will not have a dog upstairs, I'm asthmatic and we have cream carpets upstairs too.
I do all the cooking too so it's just a lot of wrk and while I don't mind hosting PIL and cooking for them, I don't want the added cleaning that the dog will create. It's making me shake thinking about it.
I tried raising it with DH but he refuses to talk to his parents about it as it's my issue and because he doesn't want the conflict.
I'm feeling fed up. Why are my feelings ok to not consider in all of this?

AIBU to not want them to bring the dog? It's my house too.

You are asthmatic. Hair and dander is notoriously hard to get rid of completely and you run the risk of being ill for weeks. No. Yanbu. They are welcome, the dog, lovely as it is, is not.

I'd never have a dog in my home - whoever owned it. It's extraordinary someone thinks they can insist an animal comes into your home. Just say - you can't accommodate the dog. They must be incredibly insensitive to think they have the right to insist.

Stand your ground! Dogs smell. The smell doesn't come out of your furnishings and carpet. Large dogs smell even worse. They also moult and dribble everywhere.

There is no way I'd let anyone bring a dog into my home. I once made the mistake years ago of letting friends bring their retriever for a weekend. Despite being housetrained it weed on the carpet and when it got excited kept jumping on the furniture. I had to keep all the windows open and after they left I could smell the doggy odour for weeks.

And I wouldn't want a big dog around my toddler. Even gentle dogs can get stressed and snap.

Yanbu

Sheesh, your DH sounds like a cowardly knob! He won't speak to his parents to protect his own wife? What a piece of work!

Email them and explain they can't bring the dog due to the layout and size of your house, it would be too stressful for everyone, but they're very welcome to visit sans hound.