AIBU to think the govt should do more to help/support single people?

[windygallows]

Increasingly I've become more aware of how how single people really struggle in a society geared towards couples. Not only is it pretty hard to get by financially or even to afford a house as a house as a single person, but aside from a small council tax rebate there is absolutely no tax relief or support given by the government. One person paying all bills in a system which 'assumes' and sets couple-dom as the standard.

Surely the govt could intervene by, for instance, setting a different/reduced tax code for those who are single than those in domestic partnerships/couples. Being single is usually out of people's control, often down to fate, and shouldn't be penalized.

I've been single for the majority of my life and vividly recall how much better off I was in the 10 years I was with ex-DP; it was a marked difference. I've seen accomplished, but solo, friends struggle. I certainly don't want to hope and pray that my DCs meet someone just to ensure they have a good quality of life and, as a society, it sends a pretty rubbish message that being independent means that you're likely to have a reduced standard of income.

Yes, Soya, a few of the posts were highly insensitive. 'Oh you're SO lucky, I'd LOVE to have a whole weekend on my own.'

There's going to be a generation of older women in poverty soon because let's face it it's women who sacrifice their career to bring up the next generation and have very little to put into a pension.

Spectre is a little over £200 a year!! That doesn't cover the extra costs from one person to two.

A PP made a good point The number of ppl living alone is rising.

They wont be able to ignore this for too much longer.

OTOH - you can argue that a family with 2 children have a lot of costs.

Either 2 parents are working but there is childcare.
Or 1 parent is working and the other isn't - so reduced childcare but reduced income.

However, WTC and FTC all help with that.

Basically, life in the UK is expensive. Our GDP per person isn't that great and the cost of living is very expensive. If we didn't have benefits, it would be impossible for many.

Mel not trying to be intrusive but surely as a single parent you get tax credits to make up your salary?

what gets me is how people always turn it around about them (people in couples, that is!)

They say 'Well, you know people in relationships don't have it easy, either! They might be living with an abusive husband for all you know!'

Now obviously that is true. But it does not happen in reverse. I would not post moaning about my husband and expect to find someone saying 'YABU, op, how dare you complain, some people on here are single and upset about it!'

Anyway I'm digressing but I do think single people get a shitty end of the stick in many ways and I'll be honest, it stops me calling time on my marriage.

Orlantina - in the end people always make your point about children being expensive. But having dcs is a very different thing and shouldn't be conflated. One could say having DCs is a choice and a luxury and that having a family with two earners is a huge buffer.

Now take away your kids, remove your partner and reduce your quality of life. Having fun now?

DH earns 15k a year. The reality is that he could barely afford to live alone despite working hard in a full time job. There is little in the way of house sharing where we are (ie within commutable distant to his job at a hospital) so he'd likely be still living at home aged 32 or living in some crappy bedsit. He isn't doing anything "wrong". Full time, often crazy shifts, demanding job that just doesn't happen to pay well. It just shouldn't be that way.

Plus council tax should be per person
....and yet the Poll Tax was probably the least popular tax ever! Protest marches went on for a long time.

Main problem being, how do you define 'single' ? People are in all sorts of different relationships. Some people choose to live with partner, some people specifically choose not to live with their partner. Single people who want a lodger are going to find it a lot easier to find one that a couple.

I think YABU.

Soya I think people get huffy about it because in their heart they feel that coupledom IS desirable, that it is an elevated status and that singletons have failed at relationships. Hence the reason we bloody well deserve to pay more for everything. Our fault.

Sorry but my eyes have rolled back and forth so many times I can barely see.

If you don't like living alone and having to pay all those pesky bills, flat/house share.

That's what all those cosy couples are doing, in essence.

Single people is fairly easy to define, innit? Not living with a partner.

I don't see why single should flatshare. I recently rented out my room to someone I thought of a best friend hence why I did it as I knew them really well..lo and behold that person would never clean any of the communal areas, never flushed the toilet at night or her hands after, would cook and leave a mess and not clear it up properly leaving crumbs of food everywhere. There was a reason I left flat sharing and fortunately able to buy my own house, after that brief stint of having her rent my room I quickly reverted back to living on my own. Single people shouldn't have to flatshare. 2/3rds of my income go on mortgage and essential bills (not including food) and its hard because I have little left over and so have to be really selective in how I spend the rest...choose which nights I can go out to, rarely go on holiday, have to save up longer than a joint salary household would to want nicer things.

I see plenty of jobs here on £15k a year. How is someone supposed to live on that?

With Brexit, we are going to have less people from abroad willing to do such work and live in cheap, shared accommodation.

So who is going to do those jobs? How will they live?

I dont currently work. Im in a state pension household and i care for my DH who is a lot older than me.

We have been together for 25 years. Im childfree by choice and back in the mid to late 90s i had to apply for jobs that were paying £50 a week £1.50 an hour etc These were full time jobs and this was pre minimum wage and pre working tax credit. Our rent alone was £48 a week back then.

Pre WTC was bloody hard for childless ppl.

I think there's a market for University style accommodation - shared kitchens, en suite bathrooms, communal lounges and bigger bedrooms / own little lounge area.

Build flats around that - and make them affordable. Kind of retirement villages for single people.

Ursula, you're right. I better just ind me a man to make things better. Heading to Tinder right now to expedite immediate cohabitation. That's how it works right?

There's always the most prejudice from girls-who-have-always-had-boyfriends-never-been--alone-may-have-codependency-issues.

No it isn't, Ursula. One is something chosen, one is something (normally) resorted to.

Should single people flat share forever? It's easy in you twenties when many of your friends are single. Much harder later on when most are coupled up.

Living with your partner (should be) intimate, enjoyable, evidence of your unity. House shares are an often uncomfortable compromise where people are often pulling in distinctly different directions. I think you are being disingenuous to conflate them.

Single people is fairly easy to define, innit? Not living with a partner

What about if (s)he is there 3 nights a week?
4 nights a week?
Or, what if (s)he works away either Mon - Fri, or in blocks like people working on oil rigs or in other countries for 12 weeks at a time?
Or, is actually there virtually all of the time, but still owns another property ?
or 101 other ways of living that doesn't mean they are single but doesn't necessarily mean they only have one place to lay their head, as it were.

When I left university, I was earning the grand total of £1100 after tax, in my first teaching job, in a normal area of the country (not cheap, not expensive, in other words.) This was 2004, Blair was in power, I was a size 10 and DH was not DH but dp. Things change, I get that.

We were renting a house - just two bed - for £650. Coming out of one salary on top of petrol and car insurance (the latter expensive as a young driver - those were the days) council tax, phone bill and Internet and electricity - £450 for all that PLUS feeding, clothing and entertaining myself, PLUS the fact I wouldn't have been able to afford the deposit and the admin fees myself - I see why people struggle.

As it is, I did live in a couple of house shares with DH when we were between houses as neither of us had homes we could go back to and I would not have wanted to live in any of them longer than a month. Weird, weird people.

Oh come off it Backforgood, one of you has one registered address, the other has a different registered address. Is it open to abuse? Yes. Is that a reason not to do it? Nope.

Making things fairer doesn't necessarily have to be thorugh tax. How about things like hotel room rates being fairer as another poster said a double room was something like £108 for a couple but £90 for a single person. Surely it should be alot more less or for a couple a lot more. holidays deals where its much cheaper to get a 2 person package than a one person package to the point I am even considering buy a 2 person package and the other person just not turning up as I'd save £100 than if I booked it as a single person.

But backforgood my argument is hat if the govt can confidently identify single mothers then surely single non mothers as well?

I think when you join all the dots about how living alone is expensive and how women are still paid less its no wonder that some women sometimes end up moving in with a man before getting to know him properly.

Especially if they are doing something like care work or retail work and are struggling.

Some men quite like being The Rescuer and will take advantage. This increases the chances of a woman ending up in an abusive relationship.