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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this?

20 replies

CuriousCalz · 01/05/2017 16:11

That most guys would try it on with a girl who wasn't attractive/they didn't fancy if:

They were drunk
They were on the pull
They thought she was interested/an easy target?

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 01/05/2017 16:13

Not a very nice thread!

MaidOfStars · 01/05/2017 16:13

I think some guys might. Not sure about most though.

Same for some girls too, I think.

What's the full story?

Original poster

CuriousCalz · 01/05/2017 16:15

It happened to me last night and I can't help but think he tried it on because he wanted physical affection rather than he was actually interested in me. Sorry having some really doubts about my looks at the moment.

OP posts:

MaidOfStars · 01/05/2017 16:15

Hang on, may have misread. Is the guy drunk/on the pull, or the girl?

carjacker1985 · 01/05/2017 16:16

Who cares? The question is did you fancy him? Stop giving the man so much power, it's not all about his feelings and his reasons, you know.

JustSpeakSense · 01/05/2017 16:16

Agree that some guys would...not most.

PreviouslyBannedToaster · 01/05/2017 16:17

Well some men, and I hasten to add some women too, go out on the pull purely to get someone - anyone - to go home with for the night. Tis nothing new.
That said, if you felt that he was only after one thing then better you steer clear and go with your gut.

MaidOfStars · 01/05/2017 16:18

It happened to me last night and I can't help but think he tried it on because he wanted physical affection rather than he was actually interested in me
You think he was just after sex? Entirely possible. If that's not what you're looking for, decline.

Original poster

CuriousCalz · 01/05/2017 16:20

I know, I'm in quite a bad place right now. He's attractive but I don't really like him, no. I was giving him a lot of time though and being friendly which I think he misread as he told me his woes. He works with my ex and it's really not a good idea for anything to happen. I can't help but feel he tried it on with me not because he thought I was attractive but just to see how far he could go etc?

OP posts:

Original poster

CuriousCalz · 01/05/2017 16:20

Yes, just after sex. In which case would you care what the woman looked like?

OP posts:

carjacker1985 · 01/05/2017 16:22

If you don't really like him, then his reasons for chatting you up are irrelevant. But try not to be so hard on yourself.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2017 16:23

Some men and woman just like sex and they don't have to be really attracted to the person.

Others need to be, so it's hard to say which camp this man is in.

The only important thing is that if they decide to have sex, both are happy to do so.

PreviouslyBannedToaster · 01/05/2017 16:25

If it's just about sex then a walking vagina on it's own would suit some men.
You can't extrapolate or make sweeping generalisations of all men with things like this.

Original poster

CuriousCalz · 01/05/2017 16:26

I guess I'm quite offended really. I feel a bit used and shit about myself!

OP posts:

picklemepopcorn · 01/05/2017 16:41

The thing is, what he thinks says and does are completely irrelevant. You need to spend a bit of time on you. Don't decide whether you are attractive based on whether a random has tried to pick you up.

MakeUpMyRoom · 01/05/2017 16:48

I think the same could be said of women and yes, if they're after brief sexual fulfillment then of course their standards change.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 01/05/2017 17:06

If he spent time talking and telling you his woes then he saw something in you. If he was just 'on the pull' he would have made advances to get you to his / get you to invite him back to yours etc. don't be so hard on yourself, people are attracted to others for al sorts of reasons not just looks.

Eminado · 01/05/2017 17:10

But if you dont really like him why do you feel used / care what he thinks?

Louiselouie0890 · 01/05/2017 17:22

Not most guys no. A type of guy yes maybe but not most no

RedheadLover · 01/05/2017 20:42

I agree totally with picklemepopcorn.

It doesn't really matter what the answer is to the question you've asked (though, fwiw, I think the vast majority of men wouldn't try it on with someone they weren't attracted to).

You need to work on your own self-esteem and not base your self-worth from whether some guy fancies you.

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