To wonder why I'm never invited out socially?

[MarmaladeSoup]

Im feeling a bit sorry for myself today, a bank holiday and everyone seems to have been out and enjoying themselves yet no one other than my parents, ever asks me to go anywhere with them!

People seem to like me. I think. They talk to me, they add me on Facebook, they like my photos and status updates and will stop and chat to me if they see me out and about but never invite me anywhere with them. I can't remember the last time I went on a proper night out dancing and having fun. I'd love to tag along with someone, but how do you go about doing that? Is it socially acceptable to ask if you can come along? I just don't know. Other people seem to do it', but I really lack the confidence.

I know some family members go out to the pub every other Sunday afternoon. But Ive never been asked along, these are people I get along with as well! Hell they even talk about it in front of me, but never say, 'oh would you like to come to?'. I know where they go, I suppose I could turn up unnounaced but would that be cheeky?

How do you go about getting included in stuff?

You could arrange stuff and invite people along too. After a while they'll probably start automatically inviting you to things they've arranged.
I think people just invite the same old people all the time, so unless you put yourself into a group, it just doesn't happen sometimes.

I don't have an answer. I wish I did. But you're not alone. People say hello to me, they chat to me, they tell me about their plans with others, but I'm never invited anywhere. I host get togethers at mine, but I'm never invited anywhere in return. Sometimes I feel just not included. Other times it's blatant exclusion. It's shit OP. You're not alone.

Family going to the pub? Just ask if you can go along. They probably didn't even consider you'd be interested.

What is your situation in life otherwise? Married, single, children, working? All have slightly different ways of socialising and opportunities ime. Being open and saying you'd like to do things is fine and generally works. Do you have anyone you could suggest the cinema to? Or drinks or walk in the park?

Next time family mention the pub just say "that sounds really fun, mind if i tag along next time" they will prob be delighted and just think you're not up for it.

As for friends, do you invite anyone anywhere? Why not invite people out to uour house for a drink or dinner, ask them if they fancy a coffee, something like "we must get together for coffee, let me text youwith some dates" . If you make the effort the invites will come your way too.

I'm single, no children. So I don't really have any restrictions lol. I think maybe people just don't think I'm interested so never bother asking me.

Do you ever make the effort to organise social gatherings? Don't always wait to be asked.

Op do you ever ask people out, honestly it makes such a difference to invites back

No, I don't really ask myself. So should I try doing the asking maybe?

why don't you start it off by organising a get together OP. People get used to socialising with the same people, sometimes you have to put yourself out there.

Most of my friendship groups started out as me being friends with one person. I'd invite them to do something and then they would invite me back and then I'd meet their friends etc

I think sitting back and waiting is just going to lead to you feeling miserable.

Invite yourself to the pub with family members - just say I'd like to join you next Sunday, does the pub do a decent draught cider/insert drink of choice.

Facebook is misleading though, not everyone is out and about having fun, all the time.

I agree with some of the other posters - organise a get-together yourself and then people know you are up for a social gathering. It doesn't have to be anything too grand. Coffee and cake at your house maybe, an afternoon tea in a nice café or restaurant, a walk in a local park or beauty spot? Maybe if you like baking, you could even say you need somebody to be a guinea pig for a new cake you've made...?

You can't always wait for people to make the first move - sometimes you just have to bite the bullet yourself.

Good luck - let us know how it goes.

Hi there - I wonder if anyone out there feels as lonely as I do. I’m 47 and no longer have any close friends - I feel people do not like me. I think I’m nice - people say I’m nice - but at the same time I seem to be excluded. Sometimes I think it’s since I remarried - which makes me think people do not like my husband. He’s not the most outgoing and I think can come across as arrogant. But I don’t know - this weekend there is a firework party and my son who is 18 is invited, along with his dad and partner (we all get on) I know the lady having the party and my son works for her - but me and my husband are not included. I know it sounds petty but it’s just another exclusions on top of may others. It makes me feel depressed.

ZOMBIE THREAD!

That sounds hard MissDolly. Have you tried organising things and inviting people?

You really need to start your own thread, people are much more likely to reply to the original post on this thread.