About wedding guest

[Newlee]

I probably am and should let it go but just want to vent and see if anyone else would be irritated by this?

Myself and DH recently got married. One of DH's friends is very successful he is about 20 years older than us and a multi millionaire. He and DH used to be close (met through a charity event when DH was very young) but not so much any more as this friend was a bit rude to DH a couple of times. He used to employ DH to do odd jobs for him and then DH got a proper job and couldn't do it anymore- I think maybe the friend didn't like that DH didn't rely on him anymore?

Anyway DH used to talk about this friend and his wife a lot and say how much they wanted to meet me. I met the wife a few years ago after DH and I had been dating about 6 months and found her a real cold snooty fish. She was barely polite.

DH and I got married a few weeks ago and we invited friend and his wife, she declined the invitation so friend asked if he could bring their daughter (14). We weren't having children but said yes as DH knows the daughter well.

All through the service the daughter had her head in her hands or sleeping with her forehead resting on the chair in front. The father did nothing to discourage that. He had worn a suit and trainers (old dirty ones) and the dress code was smart so not sure why he did that. He approached me after the meal to ask if we own or rent. That's all he said to me.

I want to tell DH I don't want to see this family again I think they look down on us and are rude, WIBU to say I don't want to see them again?

You can't do anything about the sleeping teenager. Perhaps she didn't feel well, perhaps she was embarrassed being at a wedding with her DF wearing scruffy trainers, so let herself (or pretended to) fall asleep instead.

Let it go, along with this friendship. If your DH wants to see this man again, he can go on his own. That seems to be the other wife's stance.

Yes, seems a bit odd to have an issue with OP's dress code when you weren't asked to adhere to it, Restless!

OP, you're being ridiculous about the sleeping teen. It didn't affect your day.

The trainer thing is not unusual amongst the painfully cool hipster set so maybe he sees himself as one?

The question re: buying or renting seems either nosiness or curiosity depending on how offensive you find it.

All in all, he didn't commit a crime. You don't have to like him. DH can continue to have a friendship with him. No real harm done!

Yeah, surely every wedding has a dress code which everyone understands as being smart?

How did you even notice? Were you not paying attention to your husband and saying your vows?

I think you need some perspective.

I said I noticed as I walking into and it if church as the girl was next the the aisle, asleep, with her head in her hands about a foot away from me as I walked in and out. I wasn't look back at her as I was saying my vows I was smiling at my friends and family as I walked into church and couldn't miss the comatose teenager!

The sleeping teenager is only one example of the overall behaviour though, although I fail to understand how anyone couldn't have noticed.

14 is old enough to know better and the trainers are rude. Easier said than done but I would want to say something if I came across them in a social setting again.

Trainers may have been an accident though. Went with dh to a event once. Before we left he put his old trainers on to go down the garden to fetch something from the shed.
When we got there we realised was still wearing the old trainers, he'd forgotten to change.
Dinner jacket, white tie and holey white trainers in an odd look.

I think Restless is right. You are the one concerned with social class. You mention his age, his class, how "snooty" his wife was, his money, his clothes. You had a dress code - as if you wanted everyone to know how "posh" it was.

The sleeping teenager. You caught her in the few seconds that you passed her and she had her head in her hands. She was caught out. I have often sat like that in pews which are notoriously uncomfortable and she had probably been sitting there for a while. She may have had a headache. She wasn't loudly obnoxious or rude - just a bit tired. Yes she should have sat and looked at you but it is hardly crime of the century.

Don't see these people. You don't like them - but your DH was friends with them so they are his friends. Not an issue.

Your day reminds me of this,
www.dailyedge.ie/malia-sasha-obama-turkey-pardon-1802503-Nov2014/

Also sorry to be rude, want to know what present the "multi-millionaire" gave you both

I don't think a smart dress code to a wedding is consisted posh though is it? It wasn't black tie or anything just a standard dress code for the huge majority of wedding venues?

I forgot on Mumsnet you have to get married in the local bus stop in a hessian sack or you are accused of having ideas above your station!

*considered not consisted!

butterfly

it would be similar to that if one of the girls was actually asleep! I don't know, I just think if I had accompanied a parent to a wedding at 14 and gone to sleep in the church my mum or dad would have given me a huge dig in the ribs and told me to sit up, (headache or no headache ) they would be so embarrassed! The teenager wasn't tucked away at the side either.

Anyway I suppose everyone's different and some people on this thread think that's perfectly normal behaviour- I don't mean that in a sarcastic way I am genuinely surprised some parents would allow it.