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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my DD (7) wear a cropped vest

37 replies

HighwayDragon1 · 01/05/2017 10:22

DD has asked me today if she can have done cropped vests to wear on PE days because she doesn't like people looking at get when she's getting changed (they get changed together in the classroom) I've said I'll think about it.

On one hand she's a little girl and they seem too grown up for such a dot, on the other hand she's clearly uncomfortable about getting changed and this would help.

Normal vests are a no go, she doesn't even wear them in winter, she gets far too hot, she's the type of kid that will be running around in skirts and a t-shirt in -10 weather.

So a wibu, or a wwyd?

OP posts:

Afreshstartplease · 01/05/2017 10:23

Not unreasonable to let her wear them

I would

It's a crop top not a peep hole bra!

Funnyface1 · 01/05/2017 10:27

I would let her wear one to make her comfortable.

PeaFaceMcgee · 01/05/2017 10:27

I'd get her them. It's not like a bra, and she's not a dot, she's 7 x

harderandharder2breathe · 01/05/2017 10:32

I'd let her, its not really different to a full vest, and will make her more comfortable

Original poster

HighwayDragon1 · 01/05/2017 10:38

pea she is a dot, she's my dot

I get it's not a bra as such but it just seems grown up. I'm very conscious of her growing up quickly.

OP posts:

MrsDustyBusty · 01/05/2017 10:41

Is there a more childish version than the usual, I wonder?

PodgeBod · 01/05/2017 10:44

If she feels uncomfortable and she's asked for them I think you should definitely agree. They do seem to grow up so fast but you don't want her being put off of PE and sport.

Thingvellir · 01/05/2017 10:44

My DD now 9 started wearing crop tops at 7, just before that it was the 'modesty' shorts under her summer dresses. I felt a bit like she was growing up too fast or that she was worrying about things that I wished she didn't. But it's her body and her choice, I decided saying no would lead to her continuing to feel uncomfortable so hit her the tops. All the girls in her class wear them now and most started st around the same time.

noeffingidea · 01/05/2017 10:44

Of course you can let her wear one, whyever not? It's just a shorter version of a vest.

Imaystillbedrunk · 01/05/2017 10:44

She has told her she is comfortable with people looking at her when she gets changed! Get her one, what ever one she wants (within reason). It's never too early to let a girl/woman/dot know that they own their body and who can look at it.

Thingvellir · 01/05/2017 10:45

*got not hit

AmazingBouncingFerret · 01/05/2017 10:45

They're just short, summer friendly vests. My 7 year old always wears them.

Original poster

HighwayDragon1 · 01/05/2017 10:50

Thing, you've hit nail on the head there, she's only 7 she shouldn't be bothered about it.

I guess if I said no she might not come to me about stuff like this again, it's clearly beenplaying on her mind.

I've found some plain ones in m&s that look suitable.

OP posts:

shrunkenhead · 01/05/2017 10:58

I totally get it. A) it feels like a bra and what would a 7 yr ous want with a bra (growing up too soon etc) B) Why is she bothered/ body conscious at such a young age.
I'd probably say no initially but like pps have said if she's uncomfortable I'd get the plain boring ones just to make her feel less uncomfortable and make her life easier.

Clnz4fun · 01/05/2017 11:06

You can get her normal vests for wearing under if you feel more comfortable with that, I've always used vests for my dc under clothes since she was a baby.she will be 7 soon

You can always transition to crops as she gets older, don't see the issue with them really they will give her more modesty than without.

khajiit13 · 01/05/2017 11:09

I think it's a bit sad that she feels that way but it's increasingly common. Dneice is the same age and she's worn once for a while now. All the girls do according to her.

If she's uncomfortable I'd absolutely let her wear one.

coldcanary · 01/05/2017 11:17

DD started wearing them slightly older, at age 9. It was her choice and she only wore them for school. Those M&S ones are really soft and comfortable and well worth every penny.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 01/05/2017 11:24

My daughter is the same. She only wears her underwear crop tops on days where she's doing sports or changing in front of others and has done since she was 8.

Surprisingly the ones she loves the most are from Primark. They're a lovely soft material and fit like a second skin rather than slightly baggy like others she tried.

She's very slender so there's nothing you hide at all, even now as she's almost 10 but it makes her happy and comfortable.

MegCleary · 01/05/2017 11:26

Just bought them for dd(9) yesterday and it did feel a bit "oh she's to young" but she does have breast buds and they are a bit sore and I need to cope to with the fact she's growing up.
In fairness she HATES clothes shopping, but she really enjoyed this and we had such a laugh together in the changing rooms. Hate to say it but m & s ones were the best.

flownthecoopkiwi · 01/05/2017 11:30

We did for our just 8 year old as one of her breasts budded and it is noticeable bigger. No big deal. M&s had some nice crop top style ones, got her some sporty ones from primark,

Phantommagic · 01/05/2017 11:33

My daughters say they are much more comfortable than vests so they are fine.

NancyDonahue · 01/05/2017 11:39

My dd started wearing them at about age 8 to replace traditional vest/cami during the warmer months. She now wears one all the time as she says they are comfy. We get them from sainsburys, she chooses her own, generally goes with the ones with cutesy designs.

Epipgab · 01/05/2017 11:50

What is a dot?

ShelaghTurner · 01/05/2017 11:51

My dd started wearing them a year ago at 8. Now at 9 she wears them all the time and says her chest feels more comfortable with them. I'm not sure if she's developing yet, she's ever so slightly chubby and so may look like she is when she isn't, if that makes sense. Not even sure how you tell tbh but I have no problem with the crop tops at all. It's her choice.

SwearyBerry · 01/05/2017 12:04

My Dd started wearing them at 8, the teacher advised them to wear them on PE day, for modesty, despite many of the girls not being at all developed. Then the boys started teasing the girls for wearing "bras", so she didn't want to wear them any more.
I find it really depressing that already from this age they're being pressured to being "modest" In a way that boys never would, and that it's acceptable for young girls to be shamed for having female bodies.
I'd let her wear them if she wants, M&S have some really plain, very soft ones that are really stretchy & comfy.

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