13 reasons why - my 13 years old ds wants to watch it - I'm going to let him I think

[Thetitisright]

Unreasonable ? He is a pretty mature lad !

Forstnight there may be more than one rape, just to keep you guessing 😉

Well it's ruined now with people saying how she kills herself and why.

I physically fainted during the suicide scene. And I'm twice his age and a horror movie fan, so used to gore.

Forstnight it's really not ruined anything, just watch it ffs

I didn't like it, and also agree that it frames the suicide as revenge. Sort of, "Here's all of the things you did wrong, so I killed myself and now I hope you're miserable about it".

But I would allow my teen to watch it if they wanted to. I think it's important to discuss these things, and their accuracy/inaccuracy or the issues with the portrayal of these things.

I physically fainted during the suicide scene. And I'm twice his age and a horror movie fan, so used to gore.

Why the PA face?

Because it's very dramatic to faint at that.

Well I didn't do it on purpose.

I'd rather be dramatic than bitchy!

Whatever. A ridiculous reaction. The average person would not faint at that. So don't put people off watching it.

I am a CAMHS professional, personally I think it was all a bit Dawson's Creek but it did well to emphasise the extent to which social media is affecting our young people.
I have lots of young people watching it, some it's been right for others I've worried about seeing it. Interestingly I have a young person who is currently suicidal, she watched it and used it as an opportunity to provoke a discussion about her own feelings with her parents. That alone has made it a valuable programme.

If more concern at present is the Blue Whale game

How did I put anyone off watching it?

Whatever yourself. You don't sound very happy.

I watched the whole thing and I'll admit I found it watchable but frankly I thought the premise was incredibly self-indulgent and narcissistic actually. I'm actually rather disgusted by it really. My friend committed suicide when we were 18 and the reality is nothing like a glossy tv drama with extremely attractive actors saying scripted smart, witty, cynical lines. I don't think it glorified suicide, I think it made a serious subject shallow. I was also very uncomfortable about the passive aggressive post-death guilt trip that the protagonist essentially employed with the tapes. All the teenage characters, including the protagonist are utterly self-involved whereas all the teenagers I know in RL are far more caring, involved and look outwards to the world.

I think it has received so much attention because it deals with a controversial topic and has a unusual plot device which perhaps masks the fact that it's superficial and unrealistic.

firstnightwemet look at the thread title, any idiot can surmise that there are going to be spoilers. It's asking is it suitable? People are going to naturally tell the OP the unsuitable bits, which of course are spoilers. So if it's ruined for you then that's all on you for opening the bloody thread.

my teenagers have both watched it and both cried at the end. I had a long discussion with them about it and said that I felt it didn't really explore the mindset of a suicidal person accurately. I explained that I had a schoolfriend who killed herself when she was Hannah's age. She left a note, but the idea of such a premeditated suicide as Hannah's, where she has the time to put together numerous tales explaining in witty, cryptic details, what her motivations are, is not true to life. I explained that suicides are not about revenge, they're about absolute abject desperation and finding a way out. I also said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, which they agreed with. They both thought that Hannah could have found a way out which didn't involve suicide.

Only if you watch it with him and discuss it

I actually thought it was quite good at depicting the slow burning deterioration of her mental state, she did say a few times 'if you're listening to this' so I don't think that she was convinced herself that it was 100% certain she was going to do it.

I agree that up until the rape everything else did seem to me she could've worked through or got help for, that last thing and the 'just get over it' advice from the councillor just broke the camels back and I do think that that is a true representation of what can happen to an already fragile mind after being the victim of rape.

It depends on your kids really. My DD (16) has watched it with his friends a few weeks back, he told us it was fairly boring. My DD (14) has not seen it as far as I know. I would not feel comfortable with her watching it, mostly because she is very immature for her age.

Myself and DH watched it together. I found it a bit long, very American, fairly contrived, etc. However, as a person who has been raped I found parts of the writing very true/real (last two episodes). I was able to explain some things to DH from my perspective, and discuss with him.

I'm unsure about the suicide aspects. I have no experience of that, but it could be a problem for many people I guess.

As you can see from the thread, people have lots of opinions on this. IMO none of them are wrong.

I think it depends where you are coming from. For some, they might see her as a girl their child's age. For others, it might be that they feel the girl is their age. And other people can't relate much to her at all and so find it hard to suspend their disbelief (or whatever the saying is). Also, some 13 year olds have experienced the finality of death. Others haven't

So I guess, as long as you are prepared for how he feels, go for it.
But keep it in mind that you can turn it off

DS, 15, has seen it and found the issues around consent thought provoking. He was trying to talk to me about it yesterday but I shushed him as his younger siblings were around

This thread has reminded me to bring it up with him again later.

I wouldn't. I've not finished it yet so haven't read pp's in case of spoilers! But just seen the rape scene and it is not suitable for a 13 year old.

I found it odd and very hard to watch !
I could not work out whether it was some what glorifying suicide and more revenge than it was mental health.
I found the overall storyline also odd and a little slow tbh.
I also do not get that alot of my friends state its a good way to see how bullyimg can drive someone to suicide.

Imo there was v little bullying more teens being stupid and that rape is not infact bullying.

I did find some of her earlier tapes incredibly self-indulgent. She heard a noise outside her window, wasn't even sure what it was (could have been a bird) and was too terrified to get up and close the curtains? That sounded really over the top.

Of course, we later know that she was being stalked, but she didn't at the time. Most people would think "oh, there's a bird outside my window" - snore!

There are some references to how she struggled in her last school, but I think it should be clear that this was a vulnerable person who couldn't take knock-backs

'I did find some of her earlier tapes incredibly self-indulgent. She heard a noise outside her window, wasn't even sure what it was (could have been a bird) and was too terrified to get up and close the curtains? That sounded really over the top.'

Or, in some neighbourhoods I've lived in, I'd think someone was out there with a gun.