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AIBU?

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Original poster

Private ballet lessons WWYD.

20 replies

Lonelymummyof1 · 30/04/2017 18:07

DD 3 dreams of being a ballerina, but has v complex health problems.
After 20 months in hospital she started ballet about 8 weeks ago and she loves it.
The teacher has been amazing with and despite daughter having numerous tubes is so confident with daughter.
Unfortuntly we had to pull DD out of ballet more for the other 3 year olds on the class.
I emailed the ballet school to say she would not be coming back.
I then emailed her ballet teacher to say thankyou.
Her ballet teacher then emailed me back with an lovely message to say that if she still wanted to do ballet then she will give her 1-1 free of charge.
( genuinly lovely )
Now I feel guilty she starts next thursday and I feel like I should pay her something.
My friend says that if she really does not want payment that its more offensive to push her to take money for something she really wants to do ?

OP posts:
Kiwi32 · 30/04/2017 18:12

If she's offered free I would start off under
that basis maybe under summer hols? If your daughter is still loving it and she isn't in a position to rejoin the main class maybe discuss payment going forward and get a nice gift to thank for classes to date.

Kiwi32 · 30/04/2017 18:13

*until

skerrywind · 30/04/2017 18:25

Sounds lovely.

You could offer to gift something to the ballet school?

Foldedtshirt · 30/04/2017 18:35

How lovely. In the past I've given Waitrose vouchers when payment has been rejected or was inappropriate (Godmother doing EP assessment, teacher driving dcs to school everyday)
They can be used to buy treats or essentials. Or even cashed in!

Foldedtshirt · 30/04/2017 18:37

But the most important thing is the accept her offer! She really is only offering because she enjoyed teaching your DD.

nancy75 · 30/04/2017 18:37

Can you afford the normal fee for private lessons? If you can I would say that I wanted to pay it. If she is just doing it as a one off I think it's fine but I would feel I was taking advantage if it was for free every week

sooperdooper · 30/04/2017 18:39

Can't you just offer what you'd have been paying for the normal classes?

nancy75 · 30/04/2017 18:40

I'm guessing a private lesson is about £30 an hour, offering group lesson rate (£6/7?) would seem worse to me

CaulkheadNorth · 30/04/2017 18:44

I would check her/the schools insurance covers her to offer free classes. I think it's a genuinely lovely thing to do, but it's worth checking I feel.

Foldedtshirt · 30/04/2017 18:45

Seriously Caulk?!
Don't OP, just accept the lovely offer.

HalfCarrot · 30/04/2017 18:46

Don't offer normal group fee that's definitely worse

WellNowWhat · 30/04/2017 18:49

I'd perhaps offer to pay the studio/hall hire fee. Unless the teacher owns the space she will likely be paying for the time your daughter is there.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 30/04/2017 19:36

Perhaps the school supports a particular charity? if so, you could make a donation in their name.

ScissorBow · 30/04/2017 19:43

She offered something without you asking so it was genuinely from the heart. What could you give her in return that is genuinely from the heart? Money wouldn't cut it. I'm thinking something from your daughter like a picture she drew of the teacher and her. Or sending her a video of your daughter copying something that the teacher would do/say to show what an impact she's made on her. Or write her a letter dictated (as far as it can be) by your daughter talking about her dreams of being a ballerina and how the teacher is helping her to do that. Those things are priceless. You obviously have a very wonderful daughter if the teacher is prepared to teach her for free Flowers

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 30/04/2017 20:44

Please don't feel bad about accepting. I do similar teaching and have gifted tuition when I've been able to for families doing their best in tough circumstances or a child who would really benefit. I love my job and I love being able to give something back. If your little dd would enjoy it then after twenty months in hospital she flipping well deserves a little special attention.

ZebraOwl · 30/04/2017 20:48

This = third try at posting due to MN random!reloadings. And my hands really don't want to play atm.

So: y/y to asking about studio hire + personal gift/card of some kind.

Maybe look into Flamingo Chicks if in [right bit of] UK: www.flamingochicks.co.uk

Ballet can = fab for people with complex health needs as safely-gradually building muscle, core stability, bone mass, proprioception... and self-confidence, of course.

I hope this is the start of a long & happy ballet "career" (not necessarily in the sense of her becoming a professional) for your DD. Flowers

Original poster
Lonelymummyof1 · 30/04/2017 21:12

Thankyou, I do not want to turn up empty handed and feel like she feels pressured to give her ballet lessons.

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 30/04/2017 21:15

But why would she feel under pressure? If she offered freely she offered freely - it was a lovely thing for her to do. Can you perhaps accept for now with the intention of working towards re-integrating her into the normal class? So it's just a short-term thing?

Babypassport · 30/04/2017 21:17

I've given free lessons before and seeing the pleasure the student got from them was better than any payment! I'm sure she wouldn't feel pressured into offering if she didn't want to.

DebbieFiderer · 30/04/2017 21:54

I agree with finding out if the school have a charity they support (or if the teacher does) and doing some fundraising for them.

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