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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...for wanting to know what your ds or dd is doing now if they failed their GCSEs last year?

39 replies

Bigglassofwineplease · 30/04/2017 17:45

I am at a loss. My ds won't revise, doesn't seem concerned about his future other than he wants all the trappings of a wonderful life. What opportunities are there if you fail your exams? Other than that he is a lovely boy. I am so stressed trying to encourage /reward/ bribe for revision ....'I'll test you'....'I'll turn off the wifi/take away privileges'......etc. He just doesn't want to. I feel like I have wasted the last 10 years trying to support his education. I feel tired ☹.

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Violetcharlotte · 01/05/2017 17:39

Following with interest OP as my DS sounds very much like yours.

I'm thinking he'll end up having to resit maths and will do a level 2 Btec in the subject he's interested in, which hopefully will give him the grades he needs to do the level 3.

InfiniteSheldon · 01/05/2017 17:47

We are five years on with dss. He failed after doing no work, got an apprenticeship but was asked to leave as he did nothing, after eighteen months he got a part time job in a call centre lost that rinse and repeat several similar jobs. Now (22) something has clicked and he's working paying housekeeping etc. I think for him the wake up was his best friend finishing uni getting a great job and he'd not moved on from the sixteen year old laughing at failing his GCSE's. Flowers it's very tough and really nothing any of us did made a difference he didn't want to work or study so he didn't.

mygorgeousmilo · 01/05/2017 17:52

I didn't turn up for most of mine, and parents were mostly uninterested on every level. I immediately started to work and then travelled the world for years. I always sprinted up the workplace ladder at anywhere I started, as I actually loved learning new things, and always left on good terms with a running start at my next job. I can't say what I do now as combined with my username is too outing. But I do what I absolutely love and am respected and am often sought out to do it. We have a cushy enough life, with a happy and stable family. I get the fear, though. I'm always drumming into my kids the importance of education, and when they talk about going to university my heart melts. I know that not everyone is as wily as I am, and not everyone can claw their way out of a hole in the way I've always been able to do - so I want them to have a fabulous education to fall back on. That being said, I am living proof that education isn't the only factor in being successful and happy. It's going to depend on your son's character overall, does he have anything that he's really passionate about?

GiraffeorOcelot · 01/05/2017 18:04

Have you seen the Yr11 support thread on the secondary education board OP? It's worth a lookGin Smile

Grittyshunts · 01/05/2017 18:17

I think the advice you've been given on here is very good. Maybe he's just not "ready" for exams, I didn't do well in English or Maths but am now (at 37 years old!) about to take my GCSEs again. I have been doing an access course (level 2) and have applied for the level 3 in September. You do need either Maths or English to study on the access course which will then open up options for degrees. I did not enjoy school and didn't take my exams seriously. Maybe, like me, he will get fed up with low paid/hard labour jobs and decide to resit exams when he's a bit more focused? Sounds like you're doing a great job btw Flowers

Redbookworm · 01/05/2017 18:43

Last year my DS only got C grades in 2 subjects ( luckily Maths!) He wanted to do a Level 3 course in Media but obviously couldn't get on that course. He was lucky enough to get on the Level 2 course instead as well as resitting English. If he passes the level 2 this year he will start Level 3 in September.
The college were very helpful sorting out his course after he got his results.

Singlelady · 01/05/2017 18:45

When I was at school I had a very close friend who though was a incredibly kind funny smart person was an absolute torture at school. On our results day he got one C. That was it. He was devastated and cried his heart out to me. He then went to college and done level 2 hairdresssin for a year. He gave up on it and done something like BTEC in media along with his essential skills- maths English and ICT. The same friend is graduating with an honours degree this summer before I am. I'm 22 btw so this isn't an age ago. Nobody is defined by there GCSE results. Our scjools only tell children about one path when actually they are so many options. I myself learned this when university didn't go quite to plan. I graduate next summer and it's taken me 5 years but I still have the degree! Don't think that there is no hope. Keep encouraging and Be there to pick up the pieces if necessary and work from there. And leave any I told you so's at the door. Best of Luck! I'm sure everything will work out in the end

Redbookworm · 01/05/2017 18:49

Oh and I tried everything to help him revise but eventually decided that it had to be his motivation and nothing I did could force him to revise.
He was convinced that he could 'blag' it and was upset when he didn't get the results he wanted.
He is doing ok at college but still very lazy and I'm still hoping one day he wakes up and realises that you have to work hard to get good results!!

Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 01/05/2017 22:06

He's also being bullied. Had a terrible weekend and now he is refusing to go into school. He wants me to go and get all the parents involved. Won't that make things worse,especially at 16? I thought we were over the worst and that has probably had an affect on why he hasn't done as well this year.these boys are jealous of him, threaten ti beat him up....then are friends with him again.At a loss once more ☹

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Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 01/05/2017 22:07

Sorry...typing too quickly Confused

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Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 01/05/2017 22:10

He will have to see these boys every day. I told him to ignore them but he is sensitive and they are all quite rough. It's better to get on with them than not. If the parents get involved then I just see it getting a whole lot worse. Different thread now, sorry Confused

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Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 01/05/2017 22:12

Thankyou everyone for your help. Great advice for all the GCSE stuff. He probably won't even sit his exams at this rate now Confused

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loverlybunchofcoconuts · 01/05/2017 22:13

Do the school know about the bullying? Do they not care? They should be taking steps to stop it - my DCs school has a v gd culture, where its just considered wrong, and other kids will report if they see bullying.

Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 02/05/2017 23:28

HmmYes they do. I will be going in again tomorrow as he is refusing to go in. Neverending. Keeping the faith that our luck will turn. Am worried that he might do something daft. I'll see how the next month goes x

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