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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not understand why people act this way in the supermarket

56 replies

Emerald31 · 30/04/2017 15:29

Hi tell me if I'm wrong here but has anyone else noticed how strange people can be in the supermarket? I did my usual food shop today and I had people literally leaning over me and bumping into to me to get to an item, ramming there trollies past me in a rage because I've stopped to look at something they clearly wanted to. This one woman felt like my own personal shadow and seemed to reach for everything I did then continued to walk with her trolley parallel to mine which started to make me feel uncomfortable.

I got to the till and the same woman came up behind me and started to load her items on to the belt whilst I was still trying to load mine. There wasn't enough room for my stuff in the end as she packed her stuff within a miliemetre of mine so I had to pack my food high. It was a long queue and I'm stood there waiting patiently but decided I needed another bag so turned back to get one. This woman was stood right behind me to the point were I've bumped it's her and she gave me a strange smirky look. I've reached down for a bag then got back in the queue. I moved up slowly as other shoppers in front of me did but this woman again was stood that close behind that I could practically feel her breaking on me.

I finally get to the front and start loading my items into the trolley and again she's stood right up close watching me pack. I've gone to pay with my debit card and she's moved up again and this time I lost it telling her she won't get served any faster by standing closer to me and she should wait her turn. She's then shouted saying she's in a rush but I'm sorry I don't care if she was in a rush. What is the need to invade people's personal space? Thinking back I've experienced similar before were I've had people standing too close and the more I've moved away the more they move closer. I've also had people slam down those shopping separator things and it's like they're panicked incase one of my items is mistaken for theirs and they might be charged for it. Seriously why do people act this way?

OP posts:

EssentialHummus · 30/04/2017 15:32

I think most major supermarkets on the weekend are a bit hellish - too many people, too little space, whacking great trollies and usually a high number of small children to boot. Obviously it depends on your work patterns but I'd go out of my way to avoid them/be there at 8am as doors open.

FiveShelties · 30/04/2017 15:33

I have no idea, but it drives me mad too. I like my space, and I would have felt very uncomfortable with her so close. I don't think I would have been as polite as you were☺

SnickersWasAHorse · 30/04/2017 15:36

I think that online shopping might be the way forwards if you can.

I'm not denying that there are some very odd and difficult people out there but do you think you might be also being a little over sensitive.

babyinarms · 30/04/2017 15:36

Yanbu! I personally cannot understand this invasion of personal space. I had it recently in a dept store. I was standing in line with dd and this woman was literally standing right behind me touching off me ( no one behind her, so no excuse). I moved forward to get away from her and she moved too. Dd (9) was very uncomfortable too and kept shifting.
When I went to the counter, she moved right up behind me and like u, when I was using my debit card I could feel her breathing down my neck. I overtly covered my pin and threw her a dirty visciouslook as I left. So sorry I didn't say anything cos she was the rudest person I have ever come across !

Mysterycat23 · 30/04/2017 15:43

Some people have no concept of personal space. Horrid experience.

But to be honest, the person following you around the shop etc. sounds deranged!

In the same situation I have actually said to the person would you like to go first? Just to get them out of my space. Try it next time OP to pre empt the weirdness and turn it back onto them!

Original poster

Emerald31 · 30/04/2017 15:45

I know there may have been a possibility she has special needs but I didn't get that impression. My son has Sen and so do a few members of my family and they've never behaved that way in a supermarket.

OP posts:

CigarsofthePharoahs · 30/04/2017 15:51

I had the weird experience of someone starting to shove their stuff down on the belt right behind me when I hadn't finished unloading my stuff.
In fact I'd barely started and I had a trolley full.
So I told her. She got very snotty about it and said "Well I couldn't see, your child's in the way."
Yeah, my tiny little toddler in the trolley seat, clearly making her unable to use her eyes or common sense.
I did need the whole belt.

I really don't get why people insist on standing so close. I have the habit of randomly stepping backwards which annoys them. It would be good to be able to fart on command in these situations. Then they'd back off a bit!

OvO · 30/04/2017 15:52

I'm disabled and use a wheeled walker. People will shove it out the way if I'm blocking a shelf, rather than say excuse me or just wait 6 bloody seconds!

I am not shy about telling people off.

VerySadInside · 30/04/2017 15:53

With people like this I often stop backwards or swing my backpack onto my shoulder. If they get trod on or a backpack in the face then I am very much, "Oh goodness I would never have expected someone to be so close, are you okay...etc".
Or if they look too scary I "drop" things and make them shuffle backwards whilst I am looking for it. All the time moving slower and slower until they get the message. Everytime they step forwards I step backwards.

I am only 5ft so find people often tower over me and it is very claustrophobic. Tall people don't seem to realise just because they can see over me that I am still there. They would never stand that close to another tall person because they would be staring into the back of them!

thisisillyria · 30/04/2017 15:55

I hate it when this happens to me. I like to leave a good amount of space between me and the person in front of me. Often I'm aware that the person behind is more or less "pushing" me into that space. Sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I suddenly step backwards, or turn quickly - I've often whacked someone with my bag because they're so close. I have also occasionally trodden on someone's foot (wouldn't ever do that deliberately, I'm not a lightweight).

I also hate being followed too closely when driving, but that's more for safety reasons than anything else.

I understand that personal space varies from person to person, and also culture to culture, but there are too many people around who are just plain rude!

Bahhhhhumbug · 30/04/2017 15:56

Does my head in too and l now always pull my trolley behind me at the checkout to create a barrier as there really is no need for anyone to be any closer than a trolleys length .A lot don't like it and you'll get a few keep nudging your trolley into your leg etc but by and large keeps them at bay.

PixieMiss · 30/04/2017 15:57

If someone was so close all the time like that then I would seriously worry about them pick pocketing me!

DrFoxtrot · 30/04/2017 15:58

YANBU I once had a lady so close to me that she head-butted my arse when she bent down to pick something up. How can you be that close to someone

metalmum15 · 30/04/2017 16:00

You should have farted really loudly, she'd have given you some personal space then.

Online shopping is the only way to go.

Bahhhhhumbug · 30/04/2017 16:05

Obviously pull the trolley in by the bottom end of it behind you, not the handle end or you might end up tipping yourself into the trolley when trying to reach into it. :D

Whatsforu · 30/04/2017 16:06

YANBU. I can totally sympathise what is it with people? I do my shopping online due to all the hassles you are talking about.

MrsSpenserGregson · 30/04/2017 16:23

As others have said, step backwards so you tread on their toes.

YANBU

angryladyboobs · 30/04/2017 16:24

This is why I don't shop at weekends. Weekend people are dickheads.

gluteustothemaximus · 30/04/2017 16:27

This is why we shop online

HappyFlappy · 30/04/2017 16:32

You should have farted really loudly

[grin}

Or you could have sniffed and looked at her and wrinkled your face up! Or even said "If that's you, I think you need to change your diet!"

picknmiss · 30/04/2017 16:34

People seem so stressed and rushed nowadays don't they!
I actually did a lap of the supermarket a few weeks ago as I had DS in the buggy and I felt I was getting in the way as people were shoving past and huffing, so never quite managed to stop at any of the shelves to reach for things I wanted. I had to start again and be a bit pushier otherwise I would never get the shopping done!

Gottagetmoving · 30/04/2017 16:40

It's happened a few times to me too. I always say something really firmly to whoever it is and usually tell them I will take longer if they don't stop it.

melj1213 · 30/04/2017 16:43

I work in a supermarket and I see this all the time - if I am on a checkout and I can see customers crowding the customer in front I have been known to politely ask them to step back to give them room. This tends to happen especially if they are using a wheelchair or one of our motorised scooters and need more room to maneouver (I usually end up on the lowered accessible checkout as many cashiers find it uncomfortably low to work at) and might have moved down to the end of the checkout to pack but still need to come back up to use the chip&pin machine to pay, only to find that the next customers have already come down and are blocking the end of the checkout.

I try to play it off lightly "Oh, excuse me sir/madam could you just move back please? This lady isn't finished with her transaction and needs to get back to the card reader to pay ... unless you'd like to pay for her shopping of course, because I'm sure she won't mind that!" (all said in a light, friendly tone to try and ward off any rude pushbacks) and most customers are immediately apologetic and we have a little joke about it to lighten the mood, but some customers do need a firm "Sir/Madam, you need to step back to allow this customer to finish her transaction, please."

This is also why I always have my trolley behind me when I go through a checkout especially with a big shop - if the checkout is empty/there's only a small transaction ahead of me and I have a full trolley I will use my trolley to fill the space to the end of the aisle so that I am blocking anyone else from the conveyor belt, then I will spread my shopping through the conveyor as I want to have it packed. I also ask the cashier to wait until I've got everything loaded up before they start scanning so that I can sort the shopping out (it might take a little longer to get the the scanning started, but being fully sorted and then bags ready to pack first means the overall transaction time is shorter). By that point the previous customer has usually finished and gone and I can walk my trolley out, "park" it across the end of the checkout and move back to stand in the end of the aisle to stop anyone blocking the card reader access by pushing too far down.

If anyone bashes me with their trolley/gets too close whilst there it means they are standing directly in front of the cashier/have pushed their trolley right through the checkout and is more than likely ahead of their shopping on the belt, so should have room to move back, and I will stop what I am doing, ask them to move - politely at first but the more times I have to ask them the less polite and more firm my requests get - wait until they have and only then re-start my packing and I will call them every. single. time. they do it. If they move back and then inch forward again a few seconds later, so be it ... if I have to stop 20 times in a transaction, I will stop 20 times until they get the message that by trying to rush me they are making their wait even longer because I will stop every. single. damn. time.

Blowingthroughthejasmineinmymi · 30/04/2017 16:58

Op lady could have been pick pocket, big surge round here of pick pockets in supermakets.

Blowingthroughthejasmineinmymi · 30/04/2017 17:00

I have been known to politely ask them to step back to give them room

Oh goodness I could un leash my inner marshall on a till. I would also be telling people to get their payment ready as they will be paying for something very soon!

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