AIBU to be sitting here crying (I know I am)

[malibuthru]

I'm sitting here in a caravan that I booked for this weekend. I'm crying because I am seemingly completely incapable of having a nice time with my DC.

I find it so stressful, a 3 hour journey turned into 5, toddler was sick in the car, teenager heaving cos of sick. 6 pints of milk got dropped and split open on the caravan floor, toddler doesn't like the smell of the caravan and keeps gagging (she's sensitive to smells), having to spray body spray ever time she goes into a different room, then teenager slopes off to the bedroom to watch her iPad with headphones in. Toddler slept in car, so didn't go to sleep til midnight. Wake up today, thinking new day, fresh start.. starts well, had a reasonable time. trying to get toddler ready to go out, she doesn't want to, wet herself after I got her dressed. Teenager just doesn't listen to me, takes me asking several times for her to do anything, gives me this look that makes me feel like the worst mother ever, always manages to turn everything round on me.. always has excuses. Now it's all come to a head, me and teenager crying, toddler oblivious, I just want to go home. Christ knows how we are actually going to eat tonight as I'm clearly not capable of getting these two out of the door and other than sandwich stuff there is nothing in.

I know this post is completely full of self pity, but I genuinely just wanted to have a nice weekend with my children and I really don't feel like there is any way to recover this. I just want to be like the other families that are enjoying each other's company and having a nice time.

Taking a teen on holiday can be a nightmare ...
Last year DD1 (then 15) was impossible. She said she didn't want to come on holiday with us. She couldn't really stay at home on her own - she has ADHD and forgets things - has done things like forgotten she was cooking something - once even a pancake - I realised when the smoke alarm went off, she still didn't remember. Also she gets a bit nervous being in the house on her own - has never been left overnight and we have no family nearby to check on her, she can stay with if she doesn't like it.

Anyway we went abroad. All inclusive in a hotel, nice weather, pools etc. DD1 insisted on spending the whole time on her phone - complaining it was too hot etc and saying she would get a tan and she didn't want one.
She refused to go swimming in the pool ...as it was gross 'swimming in other peoples dirt' She refused to come with us to the beach - as the sea is gross too and there would be no WiFi... (and she used to love swimming - especially in the sea as she liked big waves etc)
She insisted on spending the days either in the room or sitting in the bar area in the shade (with her phone plugged into a socket...)
She wouldn't go to the bar to get herself a drink (soft) as she was too anxious - she got her younger sibling to go for her. She had a water bottle but wouldn't drink from it in the bar area - as they would think it was odd she hadn't got a drink from the bar...I didn't want to stay at the beach too long because I was worried about her dehydrating.
We hired a car to go sightseeing for the whole day - at the last minute she refused to come with us. After arguing with her for over an hour - I ran out of patience - I told her she wouldn't be allowed in the room if she didn't come with us. She said that was fine - I still thought she'd change her mind again as we were driving off - she didn't - she ended up locked out of the room.
Honestly at times I was glad she hadn't come with us because I knew she would have been bickering with her sibling/ constantly moaning but also I was a bit on edge - worried about her. We got back just in time for the end of dinner (buffet style). I was amazed to find that she had actually been to the restaurant for her lunch and dinner -on her own. And said she had enjoyed her day .
Anyway this year I told her she doesn't need to come - can stay with her grandparents or her aunt could come and stay - or actually one of her friend's mum said she could stay there or maybe her friend could stay in our house and the mum would keep an eye on her.
She said great ...and then started talking about how it would be awkward to stay at her friends and she didn't want to stay with her GPs etc...I think she does actually want to come with us - doesn't want to 'miss out' ...
But before I book for her I am going to make sure she really does want to come - I can't bear the thought of a week of her moaning etc again...

I promise it's not just you!

Enjoy tommorow

Is there a trampoline place near where you are? Teens seem to like that.

I don't blame your teen for not wanting to use tampons! There will be plenty of time for swimming in summer hols.

Any indoor attractions locally?

Check out local leisure centre.

Cinema? My 12 year old loves cartoon capers.

Good luck.Don't go home. Find the fun. Get some yummy junk food in to make ice cream sundaes, home made fudge or cookies, buy some fake tattoos, face masks, hair ornaments and give each other's make-overs.

Buy some outrageous colours of nail polish and do each other's nails and toes.

Take some fun photos of each other in face masks!

When my daughter (the only girl) got to her teenage years I ALWAYS allowed her to bring a friend. Now when we talk of past holidays, it's always "the year X came, the year Y came.

When the children were younger and now with our foster children (of vastly different ages and abilities) when on holiday I get a load of leaflets on what to do locally. Having made sure they were all things we could and were prepared to do (though of course they did not know that part) I ask them all to pick what they most want to do. So everyone has a day, and on that day we do what they had chosen and also eat what they want to eat. If anyone else moans about it, or spoils the day then they don't get to pick their own day. That seems to work pretty well. Just a thought anyway.

Hope the 3 of you can enjoy tomorrow OP.

I feel your pain. I also have a teen and a toddler. Both ends of the spectrum. Dear god it's hard!!
Hopefully you've had a nice tea and they are both settled down or you've fucked off home and are sloshed on wine. Either would be good. I really do pray that it gets better for you.

Don't worry, find the fun.

don't forget to post a picture on facebook of the three of you smiling with your pizzas.

In years to come you will hear your dd say to her dh ..oh we used to go on caravan holidays it was brilliant.. and you will be smiling to yourself.
At a parenting course the guy said if ye can barely manage to get on with your teens in a 3 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms how do you expect to have fun with all of ye sleeping in a tiny space!!.
Sound like you have done well. Being able to make up with a teenaver is number 1 on the list of good parenting so good for you.

Oh and I agree with june
My mum was saying to me on a recent night out we had together how she wished she could have afforded more and how she always tried her best to save for holidays etc and I talked about things I remembered and loved that she didn't think I would have

In years to come you will hear your dd say to her dh ..oh we used to go on caravan holidays it was brilliant..

This is certainly true for me. My mum describes all manner of traumas during our childhood camping holidays, but I only remember the fun. Apparently, one year, they gave up. It had poured with rain constantly for days, everything was sodden, and my Dad just lost it in the middle of the night and packed us all up and went home. Dad drove home in soaking wet jeans.... I don't remember that at all!

Repression - sometimes a good thing

One camping holiday I packed everything up because DH was working, and left in our bedroom for him to bring down. We drove to the remotest bit of Wales, put our tent up in the drizzle and got all cosy.

And when I went to change the baby he'd left behind the bag containing the baby changing stuff, all the baby and toddlers clothes and the toddlers asthma medication. So that was rather stressful.