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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gah! Noisy neighbours!

14 replies

LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:25

I am sooooo judging, but our neighbours across the road often play really loud music. I don't like their music as it's rap with really bad language and heavy, thumping base (we live in a pretty suburban area), but that doesn't really matter. They often have loads of friends around and sit in front of their flat and drink and smoke and listen to music.

Anyway it's been playing for about three hours. I can hear it across the road, into my house, through my house, and in my garden CLEARLY. I can't actually hear my tv which is in my front room.

Stupidly I went there and was planning to ask politely if they could turn it down or turn the bass down or even just close their windows. They came repeatedly to the door, looked through their pigeon hole, but wouldn't answer. Finally I gave up; as I walked out someone was smoking on their balcony so I asked if she'd mind doing any of the above. She ignored me then shouted inside to her friend "some bitch is complaining about the fucking music". I said, sorry for being a total pain in the arse, I need to put my baby to sleep, I don't mind the music but could you either turn the bass down or just clothes the windows". Her friend then came out with a TINY newborn, I would say 2-3 weeks old if that, shouted at me, hurled abuse at me, then said "I can do what the fuck I want it's early"...

Then slammed the balcony door.

They have actually since turned the music off, but AIBU to judge a little? That poor baby is living in a house full of smoke and it's poor little eardrums! This music is seriously loud, as I said, I could hear it across the road, through my house, and in my backyard!! Also, was the abuse really necessary?! I wasn't being rude!

OP posts:
Hisnamesblaine · 29/04/2017 18:29

I've had the same....... fortunately before I had my children. In my case the neighbour turned agressive. Police didn't want to know and council told me to keep a log of all events. It only ended when he moved. My heart goes out to you and your family..... and more importantly that poor child. Sounds like S.S should be involved. Flowers

Hisnamesblaine · 29/04/2017 18:30

Oh and I'm judging massively on your behalf!

flumpybear · 29/04/2017 18:32

Ring non emergency police and let them deal with it .... SS I assume will be involved ... mention the newborn though

LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:34

I am pretty easy going, but am grumpy today as I have thrown my back out and it just wasn't stopping!

I might try to disarm them by popping flowers or something in front of their door with a note saying "sorry for being a pain, thanks for turning the music off"... kind of because I am scared they might do something to my car, they were so aggressive!

But, really, I can't get that poor little baby out of my head! It looked almost as small as my DS when he was born, and he was six weeks early and only 4.1lb. And he was naked with just a nappy though that in itself isn't really a thing, is it?

But the noise and smoke? There are always people in and out, there was one other kid I saw but couldn't guess age or even if that kid lived there, but that little baby!!!

OP posts:
user1471545174 · 29/04/2017 18:35

Massive YANBU.

LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:35

Do people really think it's a SS issue? I have absolutely no way of knowing if the baby even lives there or was just visiting. I got the impression it did live there, though. Also I guess the fact the friend was on the balcony suggests they don't smoke indoors?!

OP posts:
Doublevodkaredbull · 29/04/2017 18:37

I reported neighbour to nspcc after seeing something similar. Baby same age as DD in a smoky drug filled home. I found her DD's date of birth on her Facebook to get all the information. SS have removed her child.

Supersmith · 29/04/2017 18:38

They sound like arseholes. I'd gather evidence and report them to the police, put a noise complaint in. You've been reasonable and polite and they've been aggressive back to you.

LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:39

Double vodka, that's awful! I do have a good friend who is fairly senior in SS, he is away for the weekend but will ask his advice when he gets back. I just wanted to take the little baby. But was worried I was being a bit middle class pearl clutchy!!

OP posts:
LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:40

I will do that, great advice. God I feel like a psycho neighbour keeping a tally but seriously, I tried it anything to frame it as "can you do me a favour as a mum of a young baby" (this is before I knew about the baby inside) rather than as "you're music is awful and disruptive". In fact when she came out with the newborn I even said "oh you have a gorgeous little one too, you know what it's like then eh?!"

OP posts:
LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 18:44

On other news, my grammar is awful! I must be tired!

close instead of clothes

*your instead of you're

OP posts:
Lostwithinthehills · 29/04/2017 18:58

I don't think that you should give your noisy neighbours flowers! They don't sound the type to be disarmed and if you apologise for asking them to turn their racket down they would probably have even less respect for you than they do now.

In future call your local council's noise team / environmental health team every time your neighbours play music like this. Follow up every phone call to the council with any-mail. Keep a record of the noise disturbance they cause.

I've recently discovered that my first point of contact to report anti-social behaviour is also my council and not the police so there probably wouldn't be any point to you calling 101 for any of this.

I think it's difficult for you to report your concerns about the baby because, as you say, you don't know if it lives there. On the other hand if you challenge the noise through the correct channels and if it is resolved at least you will have done something for the baby.

LondonStill83 · 29/04/2017 20:35

This is all good advice, thank you!

Yes, my husband said the same about the flowers and was angry I went over there, as he felt I was opening up a hostile situation (he is probably right).

I think it's difficult culturally as well. I have a really good friend who grew up in this area, who is black British. She said that there is a lot of animosity in the area now as it used to be a lower income, mainly black area and that many families she grew up with have been priced out of the area and made to feel unwelcome in many of the newer developments since its growing gentrification. The block of flats the music comes from is across from some more expensive Victoria conversions and I suspect that there is some underlying tension there which perhaps I should have considered.

All that said- their behaviour was rude and antisocial when I was trying not to be, and I will report it to council in future!

OP posts:
Lostwithinthehills · 05/05/2017 10:51

Good luck x

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