How long would you wait before cancelling?

[NameChangerConarantly]

3 weeks ago I arranged for a babysitter for last night. Double checked a few days earlier that they were still ok to do last night. They said yes.

They were meant to arrive at 6pm. At 6:10pm I text to let them know that both children were in bed. They text back straight away saying they wouldn't be long.

Comes to 6:40pm and they've still not arrived so I text again asking if they knew how long they'd be. 6:50pm and no reply.

I was on the phone to my friend by this point as I was really really cross. My friend offered to come over and babysit. I said I'd give it till 7pm and see if they text back.

7pm still no text back so I text and said sorry I'm going to have to cancel, "Mary" is coming over to watch the kids

They instantly text back and said they were walking up. I didn't text back by this point, just rang a taxi.

Taxi came at 7:15pm and I did see them walking up. But by this point my friend was already in my house and I'd already text and cancelled.

Was I being unreasonable to cancel? One friend says I wasn't at all and 1:15 hour isn't far too late and the other friend said I should of paid the babysitter anyway as is the etiquette.

I paid my friend to look after my children.

The babysitter works full time and I'm a single mum on benefits. We are the same age. I'd saved up for a month to be able to go out last night and enjoy myself. I don't want bashing for being on benefits.

Dad isn't involved and I have zero family so getting a babysitter was bloody hard work in the first place.

There's no way I could afford to pay the babysitter ( for not babysitting ) as well as pay my friend for actually babysitting.

Friend didn't want payment but I made her take it because she did me a massive favour.

They were an hour late! It's their fault not yours, it's just lucky you didn't absolutely have to be somewhere before then

Of course you werent unreasonable, she was late and no proper communication either! You havent said who they are though - is it someone you know or booked through an agency?

I would have given her 15 mins, you were more than patient.

Thank you for the replies,

Yes I had a lovely night thank you. And yes, she text me 3 times once I'd cancelled. One saying she was going next door anyway, another saying she was just walking up when I was texting her and a 3rd saying ok. I didn't text back to any of them.

I mentioned she was working and I was on benifts because friend who said I should of paid her made out like being a babysitter must of meant she was hard up for cash. So I mentioned both our incomes so people didn't assume she was hard up for cash on here.

I certainly won't be asking her again, I'm still a bit cross over it today.

tjank you for your replies. I didn't think I was being unreasonable,

Posted too soon

But when someone says you are being unreasonable you start to second guess wasn't yourself don't you

You didn't cancel she failed to turn up despite chasing and you had to make other arrangements.

Why on earth would you pay her?

Don't worry about what you friend thinks/says. Did the babysitter expect to be paid? That would be absolutely outrageous.

I do a bit of side line babysitting (for children with severe SEN mostly) and do everything I can to avoid be late and would always message even if I was only a few minutes behind.

Is she a babysitter or someone who babysits? Totally unprofessional way to conduct yourself, I wouldn't trust her with my kids.

No you don't owe her a penny you were totally reasonable. Hope you don't plan on using her again, how do you know what her character is like, especially if she thinks you do owe her and bears a grudge.

It sounds like the babysitter accepted the cancellation anyway and doesn't expect to be paid, and quite rightly so. So forget about it.

She's my friends brothers girlfriend. Works with children and my children really like her. She asked me if once she'd babysat could she use me as a reference. I won't ask her to babysit again.

To be honest I think she was late on purpose. When she'd said she wouldn't be long she said she'd finished work late and wouldn't be long. Also said she was coming straight to mine.

But when I saw her walking up she was with her boyfriend so I don't think she did come straight from work as she works in the opposite direction to where he lives but was walking up from the direction he lives.

I'd offered £30 for 6pm to 11pm and I'd chose 11pm as the latest so she could get a taxi home before double taxi time without it taking a lot of her wage as such.

I've started to wonder if she was late on purpose so she could get morw money for less hours if that makes sense?

She's fully aware I have no family and dads not involved so I don't think she expected me to cancel

Probably thinking about it too much now and it's done and I had a nice night, but I'm still quite cross about it

I'd be cross too. You definitely weren't wrong to not use her or pay her. When you arrange a service like this, to turn up so blatantly late is so rude and I'd never use her again either! Glad you had a great night out.

She's the unreasonable one by being so late. What were you supposed to do?! You had no choice but to cancel.
I'm not clear whether it's just your friend saying you should pay the babysitter anyway, or whether the babysitter who didn't turn up is saying it, but NO WAY, DON'T YOU DARE pay her!
She didn't babysit for you, so why should you?!
An hour later without letting you know is inexcusable.

You had an arrangement for her to start baby sitting at 6pm. Anyone can get held up in traffic or similar but they should contact you as soon as they can to explain they aren't on time.

You could easily have had a taxi arrive at 6:15 and be sat with the meter running, she should have been on time.

They took the piss, you gave her an hour which was more than reasonable but she failed to show within that time, you owe her nothing.